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ooc: Dean referred to here is ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
winchesterjerk, abusedused with permission.
After Dean was out of the hospital, Sam had continued his hovering in the motel as Dean recovered. Asking him every five minutes if he needed something. Wanted something. Finally, around day 2 of this, Dean gave Sam a look and told him that Sam needed to go out and get some air before he suffocated him.
Of course, he threatened to kill Sam if he did so much as scratch the Impala.
Sam decided to take a drive. Fresh air, open road, music on the Ipod that sat in the passenger seat so that he could detach it and not freak Dean out again with it's presence. He didn't have any place really in mind as to where he was going, but as he passed the road sign announcing his arrival in Smallville, Kansas, did Sam recognize his unconscious path.
Finding Lana's place was easy. Walking to her door was a bit harder, and suddenly he just felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because of everything that had been happening and life was spinning out of control and he just needed something.
Something Dean couldn't give him. Something even Ruby couldn't give him. And so he turned to the only other person he knew that could.
He rang the bell, and just stood there, hoping Lana was home and alone. Because otherwise they might witness at very tall man breaking down like a baby in her arms.
winchesterjerk, After Dean was out of the hospital, Sam had continued his hovering in the motel as Dean recovered. Asking him every five minutes if he needed something. Wanted something. Finally, around day 2 of this, Dean gave Sam a look and told him that Sam needed to go out and get some air before he suffocated him.
Of course, he threatened to kill Sam if he did so much as scratch the Impala.
Sam decided to take a drive. Fresh air, open road, music on the Ipod that sat in the passenger seat so that he could detach it and not freak Dean out again with it's presence. He didn't have any place really in mind as to where he was going, but as he passed the road sign announcing his arrival in Smallville, Kansas, did Sam recognize his unconscious path.
Finding Lana's place was easy. Walking to her door was a bit harder, and suddenly he just felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because of everything that had been happening and life was spinning out of control and he just needed something.
Something Dean couldn't give him. Something even Ruby couldn't give him. And so he turned to the only other person he knew that could.
He rang the bell, and just stood there, hoping Lana was home and alone. Because otherwise they might witness at very tall man breaking down like a baby in her arms.
ooc: this is Sam calling Sarah back after getting this voicemail
It was a blast from the past, hearing Sarah's voice on his cell phone. it had been years since he had seen her. Months since he had really thought about her. They had tried to keep up by e-mail until, well, the whole FBI thing. He dropped off the face of the planet after that with almost all of his old friends.
Anna had mentioned that Sarah had been thinking about him and wondering where he was. With Dean being stuck... yeah, Sam had time on his hands for the next few days, so he could try and call her back.
Taking a walk and leaving Castiel to watch over Dean, Sam pulled out his phone and called back the missed number he assumed was hers, then waited for her to pick up.
It was a blast from the past, hearing Sarah's voice on his cell phone. it had been years since he had seen her. Months since he had really thought about her. They had tried to keep up by e-mail until, well, the whole FBI thing. He dropped off the face of the planet after that with almost all of his old friends.
Anna had mentioned that Sarah had been thinking about him and wondering where he was. With Dean being stuck... yeah, Sam had time on his hands for the next few days, so he could try and call her back.
Taking a walk and leaving Castiel to watch over Dean, Sam pulled out his phone and called back the missed number he assumed was hers, then waited for her to pick up.
Spending Time with Anna
Mar. 2nd, 2009 09:05 pmEver since leaving the job with the strippers and the siren, Sam had kept to himself. He still went along, acted like everything was good, but he just didn't want to participate in anything outside of that. He'd just go back to his room, watching TV or playing on the internet before going to bed in his own room, leaving Anna and Dean on their own.
No one wanted a third wheel. And obviously he was becoming that since Dean felt Sam wasn't good enough to be his brother anymore.
No, he wasn't good. He hadn't been since May, not like anyone but Ruby had noticed though. And as the months went by, Sam just felt himself slipping again. Losing that grasp of reality he had grabbed onto when Dean had walked back through his hotel door.
Slipping away, and he was so close to letting go and falling. And a part of him really didn't care if he did or not. Just as long as it was over and he could stop hurting inside.
He just wanted to stop hurting. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Just kill Lilith and then it'll be over and the pain will go away.
So he withdrew further into himself, going between researching and finding jobs, or just numbing himself with the television. Like tonight, after coming back from the library, he just went into his room and stretched out on his bed, turning on the tv and flipping the channels to find something to watch for the hours it would be before he finally fell asleep.
No one wanted a third wheel. And obviously he was becoming that since Dean felt Sam wasn't good enough to be his brother anymore.
No, he wasn't good. He hadn't been since May, not like anyone but Ruby had noticed though. And as the months went by, Sam just felt himself slipping again. Losing that grasp of reality he had grabbed onto when Dean had walked back through his hotel door.
Slipping away, and he was so close to letting go and falling. And a part of him really didn't care if he did or not. Just as long as it was over and he could stop hurting inside.
He just wanted to stop hurting. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. Just kill Lilith and then it'll be over and the pain will go away.
So he withdrew further into himself, going between researching and finding jobs, or just numbing himself with the television. Like tonight, after coming back from the library, he just went into his room and stretched out on his bed, turning on the tv and flipping the channels to find something to watch for the hours it would be before he finally fell asleep.
for sixwordstories
Feb. 16th, 2009 10:53 amCan't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
someone's having nightmares again. Involving a certain person with an ax. Though last night he was in clown makeup and that is seriously disturbing him for some reason...
Epic!Fail is Epic
Feb. 11th, 2009 10:48 pm[Cowritten with jstliketherifle. Christopher is notawarrior, who’s Dean!Mun's, so obviously used with permission. This is—Sam and Dean’s epic fail at an attempt to clear the air after the most recent episode. We’re going to try and fix.]
Spoilers and Angst Abound!
jstliketherifle. Christopher is notawarrior, who’s Dean!Mun's, so obviously used with permission. This is—Sam and Dean’s epic fail at an attempt to clear the air after the most recent episode. We’re going to try and fix.]Spoilers and Angst Abound!
He always went back to her.
Deep in the night, hidden in the darkness, they always found each other. They eased one another's pains. Aches for forgetting soothed in one another.
It took him a long time until he realized that she had the power over him. In losing his brother, this demon had stepped in to guide him. He hated knowing that she held this power, but he had always been one that needed guidence. A lost compass, one pole burned away long ago in a fire in Palo Alto, and north was destroyed with the howling of hounds.
But here in the darkness, she offered direction. Her fingers in his hair guided him along this new path. Her voice whispered in his ear, showing him where to go, what to do. It was easier to handle every time. The pain was fading.
She would take care of him. Protect him. Stay with him when everyone else left him.
Lies he told himself.
But the way her legs wrapped around his waist - locking him against her tightly - he knew she was the one with the power here. She had him right where she wanted, each and every night, and he would follow her like the damned lost puppy he was.
The crossroad demon wouldn't take his soul. But Sam had given it to Ruby freely, not caring about the consequences...
As long as she never left him alone.
Deep in the night, hidden in the darkness, they always found each other. They eased one another's pains. Aches for forgetting soothed in one another.
It took him a long time until he realized that she had the power over him. In losing his brother, this demon had stepped in to guide him. He hated knowing that she held this power, but he had always been one that needed guidence. A lost compass, one pole burned away long ago in a fire in Palo Alto, and north was destroyed with the howling of hounds.
But here in the darkness, she offered direction. Her fingers in his hair guided him along this new path. Her voice whispered in his ear, showing him where to go, what to do. It was easier to handle every time. The pain was fading.
She would take care of him. Protect him. Stay with him when everyone else left him.
Lies he told himself.
But the way her legs wrapped around his waist - locking him against her tightly - he knew she was the one with the power here. She had him right where she wanted, each and every night, and he would follow her like the damned lost puppy he was.
The crossroad demon wouldn't take his soul. But Sam had given it to Ruby freely, not caring about the consequences...
As long as she never left him alone.
Sam felt the cold washcloth on his face and tried to pull away from the strong arms that held him as he shook. It wasn't until he stopped drinking that he realized how dependent he had become on the burn of the vodka to take the pain away.
All she had asked for was sobriety and he couldn't even give her that. The pain crept up to him in the middle of the night and it hurt and the alcohol was all he knew that could take the pain away. Dean had always turned to beer and whiskey. So had Dad.
Winchesters were all about repeating the sins of the one that was higher up on the totem. Sam... was right on the bottom of the pole at the moment.
( Why are you doing this to me? )
All she had asked for was sobriety and he couldn't even give her that. The pain crept up to him in the middle of the night and it hurt and the alcohol was all he knew that could take the pain away. Dean had always turned to beer and whiskey. So had Dad.
Winchesters were all about repeating the sins of the one that was higher up on the totem. Sam... was right on the bottom of the pole at the moment.
( Why are you doing this to me? )
for justpompts: Disturbia Lyrics
Dec. 5th, 2008 10:12 amRelease me from this curse I'm in / Trying to remain tame / But I'm struggling /...Am I scaring you tonight?
( Spoilers for Season 4, especially 4.09 )
( Spoilers for Season 4, especially 4.09 )
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thewrite_place: Fuel Lyrics
Nov. 28th, 2008 12:17 amI won't back down
I will not bow
I've come to bring you hell
And I can't forget things you did
I've come to bring you hell
-"Won't Back Down" - FUEL
( Spoilers for 4.09 - I Know What You Did Last Summer )
I will not bow
I've come to bring you hell
And I can't forget things you did
I've come to bring you hell
-"Won't Back Down" - FUEL
( Spoilers for 4.09 - I Know What You Did Last Summer )
[badcompany_muse]: Deprivation
Nov. 23rd, 2008 05:23 pmooc: demon!Sam verse. The night after this
It was in the other eyes of the demon that Sam found himself remembering. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They had always been feelings. Things he didn't see pictured in his head.
But he saw them now. They had found another motel to sleep in that night, and Alec and Dean were inside. Two beds, two men. Trying to sleep. Not think of the demons. Not think of bad things. But Sam can only think of bad things. Bad bad things. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN!
Sam sat on the hood of the Impala. He leaned back on the windshield and looked up at the stars. The sky was black. Dark. But there was light. Little worlds making light. But there only light in hell was from fire.
There were only a few memories that Sam had. Now he had these and he didn't want them anymore. They were not fireflies. They were knives and blood and bad things. Bad things.
( Somewhat unimplied spoilers for 4.10: Heaven and Hell )
It was in the other eyes of the demon that Sam found himself remembering. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They had always been feelings. Things he didn't see pictured in his head.
But he saw them now. They had found another motel to sleep in that night, and Alec and Dean were inside. Two beds, two men. Trying to sleep. Not think of the demons. Not think of bad things. But Sam can only think of bad things. Bad bad things. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN!
Sam sat on the hood of the Impala. He leaned back on the windshield and looked up at the stars. The sky was black. Dark. But there was light. Little worlds making light. But there only light in hell was from fire.
There were only a few memories that Sam had. Now he had these and he didn't want them anymore. They were not fireflies. They were knives and blood and bad things. Bad things.
( Somewhat unimplied spoilers for 4.10: Heaven and Hell )
Fic: Sex, Lies and French Fries
Nov. 15th, 2008 07:49 pm[this fic is in response to a comment by the mun of soldier_ofgod in wanting to see Sam/Ruby with French Fries. And so begins the crack!Fic.]
Sex, Lies and French Fries (Sam/Ruby)
Co-Written bylikely_evil and ilove_atallman muns
Spoilers: Season 4
Rating: R (Adult situations)
Sam sat on the motel bed, just staring at his hands. For about an hour now, just staring. He hadn't heard when Ruby left, nor did he look up when she came back in. He just sat there staring, trying to block out that night from his head, the headache still not faded.
Ruby had brought back food -- the burgers were for him, the fries were for her. If he wanted to contest that ruling, he would have to take it up with someone else, because she really didn't care, especially if he was going to just sit there brooding all night. Ruby didn't do well with brooders, even when they were falling neatly into her hands. So instead, she just dropped the burgers down on the table, picked up one of the extra large fries she had gotten herself and the bottle of ketchup, starting to get ready to eat. "Better eat while they're still hot, Sam. Fried food is gross when it's cold, and the microwave is busted."
Sam got up, moving over to the table and sat down. His hand instantly went for the bottle of whiskey on the table, then he stopped. He took a deep breath, then shifted his hand to take his burger. Then he noticed that he only had a burger.
( Where are my fries? )
soldier_ofgod in wanting to see Sam/Ruby with French Fries. And so begins the crack!Fic.]Sex, Lies and French Fries (Sam/Ruby)
Co-Written by
likely_evil and ilove_atallman munsSpoilers: Season 4
Rating: R (Adult situations)
Sam sat on the motel bed, just staring at his hands. For about an hour now, just staring. He hadn't heard when Ruby left, nor did he look up when she came back in. He just sat there staring, trying to block out that night from his head, the headache still not faded.
Ruby had brought back food -- the burgers were for him, the fries were for her. If he wanted to contest that ruling, he would have to take it up with someone else, because she really didn't care, especially if he was going to just sit there brooding all night. Ruby didn't do well with brooders, even when they were falling neatly into her hands. So instead, she just dropped the burgers down on the table, picked up one of the extra large fries she had gotten herself and the bottle of ketchup, starting to get ready to eat. "Better eat while they're still hot, Sam. Fried food is gross when it's cold, and the microwave is busted."
Sam got up, moving over to the table and sat down. His hand instantly went for the bottle of whiskey on the table, then he stopped. He took a deep breath, then shifted his hand to take his burger. Then he noticed that he only had a burger.
( Where are my fries? )
