Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2008-12-05 10:12 am
likely_evil) wrote2008-12-05 10:12 am
for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
justpompts: Disturbia Lyrics
Release me from this curse I'm in / Trying to remain tame / But I'm struggling /...Am I scaring you tonight?
Sam stood over Dean's grave, vodka bottle in one hand. There was a tree that he was leaning against, the trunk the only thing holding up the intoxicated remaining remember of the Winchester line.
"I can't do this Dean..." Sam muttered, taking a sip from the bottle. He just stared at the cross that marked where his brother's body was rotting in the ground. Rotting because of him. "You think you saved me by doing this, huh? Saved me?"
He gave a sharp laugh and took a stumbling step towards the cross that marked him. "You're an ass, you know that? Dad sold his soul for you and you HATED him for it. Hated knowing that he was dead because of you. And what do you do? The exact. same. thing."
The grave was in a tiny clearing in the middle of a forest, so it was highly unlikely for anyone to come across the drunk screaming at the cross. Not that it would have stopped Sam, especially now.
"Like father like son, huh, Dean? You think you saved me now? That you did your duty? Fuck you, Dean! I didn't want this! I didn't ask you to save me, and I sure as hell don't remember asking you to die for me."
"You're a selfish jerk, that's what you are. Disguise this as protecting me or however the fuck you want, but no - you wanted to sacrifice yourself. What makes you think I'm any better than you, huh Dean? I'm the one with the demon blood in me! You should have let me stay dead!" The bottle of vodka was emptied, and then thrown on the ground at the foot of the cross.
"But no, instead you pull me out of where ever I was, stick me back on my body and oh, guess what Sammy, I'm going to die in your place and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Thanks, Dean. Thank you. And here I thought we were already fucked as it is but NO, you brought it all up to a whole 'nother level."
He lost his balance and fell on the ground, then slammed his hand on the brush that covered the grave site. "Damnit Dean... I can't do this without you. I only came back because of you. I was gone. I was safe. I was going to be a lawyer and get rid of this world for good then you walked into my apartment and pulled me back in."
"You should have just left me there, Dean. You should have just left me there."
He didn't realize he was crying again. "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LET ME BE!" He screamed at the heavens, praying that this was just another bad dream. The Trickster. Something that was NOT REAL because he couldn't face the real. He couldn't face this...
... he couldn't face life without Dean.
Then he started to laugh again, rolling on his back to look at the stars. "Is this how it felt, Dean, when I died? The desperation... the insanity? And you thought I could handle this? Did you forget that you're the strong one here? YOU'RE the soldier... I'm the geek with the laptop and the freak powers. How am I supposed to handle this?"
He rolled back to his stomach, burying his face in the dirt of Dean's grave like he was a kid and the ground was his brother's shirt. "I can't do this, Dean. It's not fair. But you know what... I know how to make this right. There's only one way to fix this."
He looked at the cross, his body shaking. "I can't kill her. I want to so badly, but I can't. Dean, I just can't. But you can. And I couldn't save you before, but I know how to save you now. It's so simple."
He pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. "You're going to hate me Dean, but I don't give a fuck. You're better for this world than a freak boy. So I'm going to get you back, or join you in hell trying."
He pulled out Ruby's knife out of his boot and looked at it before tucking it into his pants. "See you soon, Dean," Sam rubbed at his eyes then turned and stumbled back trough the trees where he had parked the Impala.
He had a crossroads to find.
Sam stood over Dean's grave, vodka bottle in one hand. There was a tree that he was leaning against, the trunk the only thing holding up the intoxicated remaining remember of the Winchester line.
"I can't do this Dean..." Sam muttered, taking a sip from the bottle. He just stared at the cross that marked where his brother's body was rotting in the ground. Rotting because of him. "You think you saved me by doing this, huh? Saved me?"
He gave a sharp laugh and took a stumbling step towards the cross that marked him. "You're an ass, you know that? Dad sold his soul for you and you HATED him for it. Hated knowing that he was dead because of you. And what do you do? The exact. same. thing."
The grave was in a tiny clearing in the middle of a forest, so it was highly unlikely for anyone to come across the drunk screaming at the cross. Not that it would have stopped Sam, especially now.
"Like father like son, huh, Dean? You think you saved me now? That you did your duty? Fuck you, Dean! I didn't want this! I didn't ask you to save me, and I sure as hell don't remember asking you to die for me."
"You're a selfish jerk, that's what you are. Disguise this as protecting me or however the fuck you want, but no - you wanted to sacrifice yourself. What makes you think I'm any better than you, huh Dean? I'm the one with the demon blood in me! You should have let me stay dead!" The bottle of vodka was emptied, and then thrown on the ground at the foot of the cross.
"But no, instead you pull me out of where ever I was, stick me back on my body and oh, guess what Sammy, I'm going to die in your place and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Thanks, Dean. Thank you. And here I thought we were already fucked as it is but NO, you brought it all up to a whole 'nother level."
He lost his balance and fell on the ground, then slammed his hand on the brush that covered the grave site. "Damnit Dean... I can't do this without you. I only came back because of you. I was gone. I was safe. I was going to be a lawyer and get rid of this world for good then you walked into my apartment and pulled me back in."
"You should have just left me there, Dean. You should have just left me there."
He didn't realize he was crying again. "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LET ME BE!" He screamed at the heavens, praying that this was just another bad dream. The Trickster. Something that was NOT REAL because he couldn't face the real. He couldn't face this...
... he couldn't face life without Dean.
Then he started to laugh again, rolling on his back to look at the stars. "Is this how it felt, Dean, when I died? The desperation... the insanity? And you thought I could handle this? Did you forget that you're the strong one here? YOU'RE the soldier... I'm the geek with the laptop and the freak powers. How am I supposed to handle this?"
He rolled back to his stomach, burying his face in the dirt of Dean's grave like he was a kid and the ground was his brother's shirt. "I can't do this, Dean. It's not fair. But you know what... I know how to make this right. There's only one way to fix this."
He looked at the cross, his body shaking. "I can't kill her. I want to so badly, but I can't. Dean, I just can't. But you can. And I couldn't save you before, but I know how to save you now. It's so simple."
He pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. "You're going to hate me Dean, but I don't give a fuck. You're better for this world than a freak boy. So I'm going to get you back, or join you in hell trying."
He pulled out Ruby's knife out of his boot and looked at it before tucking it into his pants. "See you soon, Dean," Sam rubbed at his eyes then turned and stumbled back trough the trees where he had parked the Impala.
He had a crossroads to find.
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Damn*pulls him in for a hug, because broken wibbly Sam apparently needs hugs*OOC
...and Dean goes to pieces. Lovely. And I was going to do Happy Things today.
It's beautiful, however. Dean-breaking aside.
Re: OOC
Re: OOC
Re: OOC
Re: OOC
Re: OOC
OOC, of course. No way could I let Lana read this.
That was awesome. I want to cry now and hug poor Sammy, but it was awesome.
Funny thing too, I'm going to write something for Lana with that prompt.
Re: OOC, of course. No way could I let Lana read this.
Re: OOC, of course. No way could I let Lana read this.
And my evil!Lana is laughing at you.
I hate her.What a meanie.