They call me the Anti-Christ

Sam was well aware that people all over the world ate strange things like bugs, but there was something about Dean watching Survivor that just made him gag. “Seriously, dude, can you shut that off? It’s gross.”

“Hell no, the chicks are barely wearing anything, and what they are wearing is soaked. It’s like porn.”

“If you want to want to watch porn, I can just go to the diner across the street to finish my book.”

“And you not be here when Dad gets back? Hell now. Just shut up and face the other direction.”
Sighing, Sam turned and tried to get back into his summer reading…

“Oh yeah, baby. Take that top off to get the maggots out of your cleavage. You want something nibbling down there, I’ll be glad to help…”

”DEAN!”

3) Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
--Jim Davis


"Dean, are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course I am, Sammy. When have I shown you something that didn't work."

"The time you tried to jump the barbed wire fence and tore your pants."

"The fence was wet and I slipped."

"The time you blew up the potato in the microwave."

"You're the one who wanted mashed potatoes."

"And the time..."

( . . . )

“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” --Steve Almond

Dad was on a job again. Dad was always on a job and Sammy didn't like it because it was Halloween and Pastor Jim had PROMISED him that they were going to go trick or treating. At least, he had promised Sammy, because Dean said that it was lame and didn't want to go.

But then Dad came back and packed them up into the car and took them for a trip. Sammy was happy to see Dad but it meant they were in another motel room alone and Sammy wanted candy.

"Dean..." Sammy asked again in his whiny voice.

"No, Sam," Dean said from in front of the TV. He didn't even look over at his younger brother who was in the window, watching the kids run around in the parking lot in their costumes, getting ready to start knocking on doors. Sammy was wearing the Batman costume and everything. He just needed someone to go with him.

"But why not?"

"Dad said to stay inside and we're staying inside. You don't want to make him mad, do you?"

"No..." Sammy pouted. But Dad wasn't here. He was never here. Sammy wanted his Dad here to take him trick or treating.

"Then quit asking."

The group of kids were getting closer, and Sammy looked over his shoulder. Dean was watching a loud movie. He wouldn't hear. Sammy would be back before Dean even noticed he was gone. Little fingers opened the window and Batman slipped out the window. He grabbed a bag from the cleaning lady's cart and ran over to the group of kids and moms. "Can I go with you?"

The ladies looked down at Sammy in confusion, wondering where he had come from. "Does your Mommy say it's ok?" they asked, looking around.

Sammy gave a little pout. "My mommy is dead. My brother won't take me. My name is Sam."

"Where do you live?" Another asked, and Sammy obediently pointed at the motel room he had just escaped from.

"I have to be back before dark," he said with a serious nod.

The mothers shrugged. They were only going around the block before coming back. What trouble could he be? They nodded, and Sammy gave them a bright smile as he put his mask on and went to join the kids as they started to walk around the block.

( . . . )

Sam sighed, walking down the aisles with Jess as she was looking for what movie they were going to rent for that weekend. Normally, he wouldn't mind, but it was her turn to pick, and she had promised vengeance after making her sit through the Die Hard movies.

"Oh, how about this one?" She held up Sweetest Thing.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, you can do better." He took the DVD and looked at the summary on the back. "Oh look, we're three modern women who find no problems with sleeping around but oh my when the right guy comes along we get all wibbly and rethink our modern women ways..."

Jess tried not to smirk at Sam's playful tone, putting the DVD back and grabbing another one. "Steel Magnolias?"

"Oh, Julia Roberts dies in this one, doesn't she?!" He feigned over excitement as he bounced up and down with a goofy grin. "I really want to see a bunch of old women sitting around talking about life and why they are the ones who really rule their families and men are so stupid!"

"Sam!" Jess snatched the DVD away and put it back. "Stop goofing around."

"I happen to know for a fact that you like it when I goof around," Sam said, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck while she picked up another DVD. "You do realize, however, that if you go through with this, I will feel completely emasculated by the end of the movie."

"That's the point." She grinned as she grabbed the Moulin Rouge DVD. "This is it!"

"You're kidding?"

"Nope. You're going to sit and watch Ewan McGregor sing to me and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Sam gave a pout. "You're doing that just because you know I can't sing to save my life."

"Exactly." She got up on her toes and kissed Sam's nose. "Now come on, baby. We've got Chinese to order still."

Ok, I can do this. Piece of cake, right? Knees bent, balance centered, one foot after another. Kids do this all the time.

Carefully, Sam put one foot out on the ice, then the other. The skates that he was borrowing wiggled a bit under his too long legs as he fought to get his balance. He had already made sure that there was no one around the lake as he decided to teach himself to skate, just in case.

He still thought this was ridiculous, but Sandra McCoy had asked him on a date at the local skating rink, and he wasn't about to admit that he didn't know how to skate. And he wasn't going to ask Dean to teach him - not like Dean was around much anymore now that he had the Impala and Dad was sending him off on small easy jobs on his own.

So it was Sam verses the lake. He took a deep breath, then slowly started to move like he saw the ice skaters on television move...

- and promptly found himself off balance, arms flailing in the air right before he fell backwards onto the ice. His vision was doubled for a moment with the impact, and his butt and back were starting to hurt as he just stayed still a moment.

Maybe she'll let me take her to a movie instead...

ooc: Based off this picture prompt. From John's POV.

John Winchester was learning rather quickly that his youngest son had a wild imagination. Also, that leaving him alone with Bobby was sometimes not such a good idea after all.

Sam was six now, sitting at the kitchen table when John got back from a hunt. Bobby was out working in the yard, and John would bet that Dean was following behind him, trying to learn and help with the cars. The mechanic blood ran strong in Dean, and he always wanted to know how things worked.

But not Sam. Sam was happy with the books and his gummi bears on the table. He had learned how to read by the time he was four, and some of the words that Sam knew now - but couldn't spell - made John feel like he had no education at all.

So seeing one of Bobby's research books open in front of Sam wasn't that big of a shock. However, it was turned to an especially graphic page with a human decapitating a vampire. "What you reading, Sammy?" John asked, putting his bag down on the counter.

"Uncle Bobby said it was a horror picture book. I can't read it because it's in pig latin, but the pictures are really gross." Sam looked up at his father and smiled, his fingers playing with the gummi bears. There was also a half eaten strawberry Jell-O cup beside his elbow.

"Well, I'll have to talk to Uncle Bobby about letting you read these things. It'll give you nightmares..." John went to pick up the book, then stopped as he saw exactly what Sam was doing with his gummi bears. "... Sam?"

"Yeah Dad?"

"Why don't you go out and play with Bobby's dog for awhile... get some fresh air."

"But orange bear still needs to set the vampire bear's head on fire." He pointed to the picture, then grabbed the box of matches. "I'm almost ready!"

John closed his eyes, then took the matches. "I don't think Bobby would appreciate you setting the kitchen on fire, Sam."

"But Daaaaaad..."

"Outside now, Sammy."

Sam just pouted, pushing his chair back and getting up. "You never let me have any fun," he stated, then grabbed Cheney by the collar and led the dog outside. John watched him go, then sat down at the table and shook his head.

He wasn't sure if he should be amused by this, or sad in knowing that eventually, Sam would be doing the same thing he was having his bears act out. Right now, he just wanted Sam to be a real kid and run around outside with the dog and play.

The monsters would come soon enough.

"Dean, pull over man..."

"Oh come on Sammy, it's not that bad."

"I'm not kidding."

Dean looked at his kid brother in the backseat of the Impala. Dean was now 16 and just got his license. Dad had handed him the keys to the Impala, telling him to take Sam out to get something for dinner. On their way back, however, Dean decided he wanted to really take a ride and test out just how the car ran.

Sam had been sitting stretched out in the back, reading while Dean was driving. He had eaten too much, but it wasn't often that they actually want out to eat, so he took advantage of the desert menu. However, after the first hairpin Dean took on the back country roads, Sam was starting to regret it.

( Dean please! )

December 2004

"Please?"

"No."

"Sam, stop being such a damn Grinch and just put the star on top of the tree already."

Sighing, Sam pushed his textbook aside and got up, taking the silver star from Jess and reaching up to put it on the top of the almost 7 foot tall tree. Jess stood back, arms crossed and smiling. "Perfect."

( Can I go back to studying now? )