Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2008-12-27 04:27 pm
likely_evil) wrote2008-12-27 04:27 pm
for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
un_love_you: #3 - This cancels out the hurt.
Sam felt the cold washcloth on his face and tried to pull away from the strong arms that held him as he shook. It wasn't until he stopped drinking that he realized how dependent he had become on the burn of the vodka to take the pain away.
All she had asked for was sobriety and he couldn't even give her that. The pain crept up to him in the middle of the night and it hurt and the alcohol was all he knew that could take the pain away. Dean had always turned to beer and whiskey. So had Dad.
Winchesters were all about repeating the sins of the one that was higher up on the totem. Sam... was right on the bottom of the pole at the moment.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Sam growled, fighting to get Ruby to stop nursing him. "Just leave me alone..."
"Shut up Sam," Ruby stated. The room was bare, a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Not an alcohol bottle in sight, and the car keys were hidden so he couldn't get to a store. "I told you if you didn't do this yourself, I was going to make you."
"It hurts...," he bit back a groan as he curled up on the floor. He started to couch again, his arm reaching for the basin nearby before he started to throw up in it again. She winced at the sound and just grabbed another bottle of water.
"Of course it hurts, you idiot. You've been living on a vodka diet for a month. And then when I think you've stopped, I come back and find you on the floor in a pool of your own vomit." She wiped his head again, his free hand grabbing his hair to keep his head still. "You'll thank me for this later."
"Fuck you." His hazel eyes would look menacing if the rest of his face and body didn't make him look like a wounded puppy.
"Been there, done that. Now drink." She tilted his head back and forced the fresh water down his throat until he was choking before letting his head go.
"Bitch." He closed his eyes and curled back up into a ball on the ground as his body worked through it's withdrawal.
It was a week later when Ruby decided she needed to show Sam a bit of trust. She had been with him 24/7, making sure he didn't screw up again. But even he was starting to get antsy with her constant companionship.
He was working on refilling shotgun shells when she left to get them dinner. And she knew there was still two bottles of vodka in the cabinet under the sink. She memorized where the levels had been, and hoped that they didn't shift at all in the hour she was away.
Sam still shook when he thought of Dean. Like a dam that threatened to break but he refused to let the cracks open. Without the vodka, he shook more at times but slowly he was learning to push past the pain. Past the hurt and anger and just focus.
When Ruby left he closed his eyes, waiting until she was gone when he got up and went right to the sink, opening it and pulling out the vodka bottle. He needed a drink, and he uncapped the bottle and started to bring it to his lips.
Then he stopped, remembering the quivering mass he had been on the floor in the warehouse. How pathetic he had been. How horrible that had felt.
Dean wouldn't want me to be like that...
He just looked at the bottle, contemplating.
When Ruby returned she could smell the vodka. She slumped her shoulders, throwing the bags onto the ground and storming over to where Sam sat on the bed. "Damn it Sam, I was only gone an hour..."
"I didn't drink it," he scowled, his eyes not leaving the window he was looking out.
She narrowed her eyes, then turned her head and saw the shattered remains of both bottles against the opposite wall. She nodded, letting her lips smirk just a bit. "Good to see you getting into a new destructive habit. Come on, I bought you dinner. It's almost dark and I found our test subject for tonight."
All she had asked for was sobriety and he couldn't even give her that. The pain crept up to him in the middle of the night and it hurt and the alcohol was all he knew that could take the pain away. Dean had always turned to beer and whiskey. So had Dad.
Winchesters were all about repeating the sins of the one that was higher up on the totem. Sam... was right on the bottom of the pole at the moment.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Sam growled, fighting to get Ruby to stop nursing him. "Just leave me alone..."
"Shut up Sam," Ruby stated. The room was bare, a warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Not an alcohol bottle in sight, and the car keys were hidden so he couldn't get to a store. "I told you if you didn't do this yourself, I was going to make you."
"It hurts...," he bit back a groan as he curled up on the floor. He started to couch again, his arm reaching for the basin nearby before he started to throw up in it again. She winced at the sound and just grabbed another bottle of water.
"Of course it hurts, you idiot. You've been living on a vodka diet for a month. And then when I think you've stopped, I come back and find you on the floor in a pool of your own vomit." She wiped his head again, his free hand grabbing his hair to keep his head still. "You'll thank me for this later."
"Fuck you." His hazel eyes would look menacing if the rest of his face and body didn't make him look like a wounded puppy.
"Been there, done that. Now drink." She tilted his head back and forced the fresh water down his throat until he was choking before letting his head go.
"Bitch." He closed his eyes and curled back up into a ball on the ground as his body worked through it's withdrawal.
It was a week later when Ruby decided she needed to show Sam a bit of trust. She had been with him 24/7, making sure he didn't screw up again. But even he was starting to get antsy with her constant companionship.
He was working on refilling shotgun shells when she left to get them dinner. And she knew there was still two bottles of vodka in the cabinet under the sink. She memorized where the levels had been, and hoped that they didn't shift at all in the hour she was away.
Sam still shook when he thought of Dean. Like a dam that threatened to break but he refused to let the cracks open. Without the vodka, he shook more at times but slowly he was learning to push past the pain. Past the hurt and anger and just focus.
When Ruby left he closed his eyes, waiting until she was gone when he got up and went right to the sink, opening it and pulling out the vodka bottle. He needed a drink, and he uncapped the bottle and started to bring it to his lips.
Then he stopped, remembering the quivering mass he had been on the floor in the warehouse. How pathetic he had been. How horrible that had felt.
Dean wouldn't want me to be like that...
He just looked at the bottle, contemplating.
When Ruby returned she could smell the vodka. She slumped her shoulders, throwing the bags onto the ground and storming over to where Sam sat on the bed. "Damn it Sam, I was only gone an hour..."
"I didn't drink it," he scowled, his eyes not leaving the window he was looking out.
She narrowed her eyes, then turned her head and saw the shattered remains of both bottles against the opposite wall. She nodded, letting her lips smirk just a bit. "Good to see you getting into a new destructive habit. Come on, I bought you dinner. It's almost dark and I found our test subject for tonight."