likely_evil: (Samael - Rescue me)
“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” --Martha Washington

"Why are you and Daddy not as close as Ben and Alec?" Sammy asked one day as she sat in Samael's living room, coloring in a book. "Brothers are supposed to be best friends."

The question caught him by surprise, and Samael could only look over at the four year old he was babysitting for the afternoon. Sammy was intent on her picture, not even looking up as she asked her question out of the blue, and he took a moment before answering it.

"Your Dad and I are that close," he explained gently. "More, in fact. But..." How to explain that life happens and sometimes it's not what you hope to a child.

"Did you have a big fight?"

"No. I just..." He bit his lip and sat on the floor across from her. "You know how sometimes your brothers do something that make you very mad, but you end up forgiving them for being mean?"


"But sometimes you are still mad even when they said they were sorry, and you're still mad but you don't act like it?"

"Uh huh."

Samael gave her a small smile. "Your Dad just feels that way. He's still mad at me, even though he knows I'm sorry. And one day we're going to be very close again like we were, just not yet. But that doesn't mean he stopped loving me."

"I'm gonna tell Daddy to stop being mad at you." Sammy put her crayon down and looked at her uncle across the table. "You can't be that bad."

He just looked at her and smiled. "He will stop being mad when he's ready."

"But you need Daddy. You're sad." She got up and walked over, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Ben and Alec fight but they are never sad because they have each other. You need Daddy and then Daddy and you would be sad."

Tears came to Samael's eyes and he hugged his niece back tightly. Sammy then pulled back and gave Samael a kiss on his cheek. "Don't cry."

Wiping his cheek, Samael smiled at the little girl. He knew that he and Dean would eventually get back to being brothers again like they had been. Maybe never that close. It would be different, and at moments like this, Sam remembered that his sacrifice had still been the right choice.

Because this beautiful little girl wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.

"I'm just happy," Samael told her, ruffling her head. "Let's start cleaning up. Your daddy will be here to pick you up soon."

"Then I will tell him to stop being mad at you."

He sighed and chuckled. "Why don't I tell him that, and you tell him about the llama you got to pet at the zoo today?"

"And how it sneezed on you and got boogers on your shoe!"

"I'm sure he would enjoy hearing about that instead."
likely_evil: (Samael - Rescue me)
“A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.” --Lois Wyse

Sam was aware that he looked pathetic. His face was covered with fading bruises and his arm was in a sling against his chest. There was a beer on the nightstand next to a bowl of pretzels that he occasionally reached over for a handful of one, or a sip of the other. He was on top of the blankets, leaning against a few pillows in flannel pants and a wife-beater while he watched some comedy series on television. He hadn't shaved since he had woken up in the medical ward, and had about two weeks worth of beard growing on his normally smooth face.

Ruby had been gone for three months now, and if she knew how bad Sam had let himself get, she would kick his already broken ass around to make sure he learned some kind of lesson. He was finally coming out of his blood withdrawal and was glad that Michael was with Tara out in Switzerland so he didn't have to see him during that time.

During those bad days, though, Sam found a friend in his charge for the last few weeks. Any time Sam's breathing changed and he felt pain, suddenly there was a large dog up on the bed to check on him, pressing a cold nose against Sam's face or neck to let him know that he wasn't alone. At first, the contact was strange and Sam tried to push the dog away, but Buster kept at it and finally Sam could feel the comfort that the dog was trying to give him and took it.

Eventually, Sam got comfortable with letting Buster sleep on the edge of the bed. Soon he was letting the dog further up onto the bed where now he was sleeping with his head and one leg over Sam's legs, watching and waiting for Sam to drop a pretzel that he could help clean up.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Wee!Chester - spaghettio's)
3) Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
--Jim Davis

"Dean, are you sure this is going to work?"

"Of course I am, Sammy. When have I shown you something that didn't work."

"The time you tried to jump the barbed wire fence and tore your pants."

"The fence was wet and I slipped."

"The time you blew up the potato in the microwave."

"You're the one who wanted mashed potatoes."

"And the time..."

. . . )
likely_evil: (Confused - Shy Neckrub)
(ooc: takes place in a new verse. Castiel is [ profile] soldier_ofgod and Dean is [ profile] jstliketherifle. Both are used with love and permission.)

"Alright, that's it. I need to get some air."

Sam stood up and walked towards Bobby's front door, reaching for his jacket. "I'm taking the Impala. I'll be back in the morning."

"Sam, wait up." Dean untangled himself from Jo on the couch, catching up to him at the door. "Where you going?"

He pursed his lips, looking over his brother's shoulder at Jo a moment before back at Dean. "It's getting a little too awkward in here. I need to go blow off some steam."

Dean watched him a moment. "No."

"Dean, come on..."

"You're not going alone."

Sam took a deep breath. "I'm going to a bar. I don't plan to come home until morning."

Dean looked at his brother a moment, and then his eyes widened. "OH. Oh, Sammy, has it really been that long?"

"Shut up. Give me the keys."

. . . )
likely_evil: (Sad - Crying)
OOC: Goes with this. Michael is [ profile] herecmestrouble and used with permission

She is the sunlight.
The sun is gone.
- Trading Yesterdays "She is the Sunlight"

Ruby always went on jobs on her own. That wasn't what worried Sam. It was her way of relieving stress sometimes - go off on a small case, beat up a few demons and come back and take a long hot shower or else... well, that was another way they both burned off stress.

Sam sat up in bed reading until he fell asleep, waiting for her. It wasn't like her to take that long on a routine matter. He tried to call her again before bed, but it went to voicemail. If she was working, she wouldn't answer her phone. Maybe she needed to wait until late to hunt whatever she was after.

He was expecting her to come in during the night and wake him up by pressing her cold body against his back and wanting to share his warmth. But when he woke up and her half of the bed was still cold, that was when he started to worry.

It got worse when she didn't answer her cell phone still in the morning. It took him seconds to dress and then without even meeting his son for breakfast like planned, he went straight to the library and grabbed Bobby's journal and headed right for a spell room.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Evil - Lucifer Smirk)
ooc: for [ profile] mad_muses prompt: I hope you know what you’re doing.

Age 132. Year is 2114

It was a rough year for the Initiative. The complex was still just a dream, and the demons were hard to get on his side in the battle for a line of peace between the two species. War was hard, and it was taking it's toll on the immortal Winchester - more so than on any of the other humans. After all, it was certain that the demon who could take out Sam Winchester was going to become a legend.

And in 2114, that legend almost happened. His name was Andras, and to some he was considered one of the princes of Hell. His strategy was strong - separating Sam from the safety of his followers and then locking him in a warehouse in which no angel or lesser demon could enter or exit - including that of his Ruby.

Sam put up a strong fight, but his biggest weakness was that he was still human and needed certain things to survive. Food and water being the two major items. Andras, however, had an ego and wouldn't let his victory come from just plain starvation. He wanted to break Sam down as far as he could both mentally and physically before dealing the final blow. Then he could drag the body out to lay it at the feet of his followers and start to take them down.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Annoyed - You must be kidding)
The dangers of having a child had always been present in Sam's mind, long before Ruby had found out she was pregnant. When the reality of Michael coming into the world finally stuck in his head, Sam had done everything he could to make the nursery into a virtual fortress within a fortress. He was not going to let any demon near his son... except his mother, of course.

But Sam knew that there was going to be a danger. That six month birthday was the keystone. He had done so much research into baby development and why six months was so important in the plan that Azazel had once had. He learned that it was around that time in a baby's development that they started to show independent thoughts and actions.

The medics couldn't confirm if Michael was fully human or a half-blood like this father. Mutters of his son being an anti-christ were looked at with angry eyes from his father and harsh words from both parents. Their son was a perfect, innocent child and anyone who had an issue with his existence was given the offer to leave.

So as the day came, Sam worried that someone would slip through. A demon ally who had turned traitor - there were many times he had ended up attacked within his own walls - or worse, a human who wanted to make Michael into a weapon against this peace. He wasn't going to let his child be turned into a pawn in this war.

All of this led to Sam fortifying the nursery on the night before Michael hit that milestone. There was a salt line across the door and Sam sat in the rocking chair as the baby slept, a shotgun in his lap as he read a book. There was a coffee maker in the room, and Sam kept himself up.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Wee!Chester - spaghettio's)
“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” --Steve Almond

Dad was on a job again. Dad was always on a job and Sammy didn't like it because it was Halloween and Pastor Jim had PROMISED him that they were going to go trick or treating. At least, he had promised Sammy, because Dean said that it was lame and didn't want to go.

But then Dad came back and packed them up into the car and took them for a trip. Sammy was happy to see Dad but it meant they were in another motel room alone and Sammy wanted candy.

"Dean..." Sammy asked again in his whiny voice.

"No, Sam," Dean said from in front of the TV. He didn't even look over at his younger brother who was in the window, watching the kids run around in the parking lot in their costumes, getting ready to start knocking on doors. Sammy was wearing the Batman costume and everything. He just needed someone to go with him.

"But why not?"

"Dad said to stay inside and we're staying inside. You don't want to make him mad, do you?"

"No..." Sammy pouted. But Dad wasn't here. He was never here. Sammy wanted his Dad here to take him trick or treating.

"Then quit asking."

The group of kids were getting closer, and Sammy looked over his shoulder. Dean was watching a loud movie. He wouldn't hear. Sammy would be back before Dean even noticed he was gone. Little fingers opened the window and Batman slipped out the window. He grabbed a bag from the cleaning lady's cart and ran over to the group of kids and moms. "Can I go with you?"

The ladies looked down at Sammy in confusion, wondering where he had come from. "Does your Mommy say it's ok?" they asked, looking around.

Sammy gave a little pout. "My mommy is dead. My brother won't take me. My name is Sam."

"Where do you live?" Another asked, and Sammy obediently pointed at the motel room he had just escaped from.

"I have to be back before dark," he said with a serious nod.

The mothers shrugged. They were only going around the block before coming back. What trouble could he be? They nodded, and Sammy gave them a bright smile as he put his mask on and went to join the kids as they started to walk around the block.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Jess - Dreams)
Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
- Oasis “Stop Crying Your Heart Out”

The nightmares were horrible, and Sam could barely sleep for weeks after it happened. He closed his eyes and all he saw was her on the ceiling, whispering his name before bursting into flames. Sometimes her eyes were sad, and sometimes they were angry and full of blame.

Every time he woke up to find Dean looking over at him, worried eyes not sure what to say to make it better. It was the first time Dean wasn't going to be able to solve a problem of his. Only later would Sam realize that it was the first of many.

But one time, Dean was standing there with a cup of coffee, a small smirk on his face. "Drink this. It'll keep you up for a few hours."

"Thanks." Sam ran his hand through his hair, then took the cup. Dean tilted his head, then motioned towards Sam's wrist.

"You expecting to grow it out long enough to make a little topknot?"

"Huh?" Sam looked at his wrist, then his expression fell. "Oh. No."

Dean noticed the look and sat on the bed opposite from him. "It's Jess', huh?"

Sam nodded, thinking back to a few weeks ago...

. . . )
likely_evil: (Scruffy - staring)
ooc: using the prompt picture after the rain

Sam stood at his office window, looking down at the city. There was something about it just after a storm had washed away from of the grime... the smog was parted for just a bit, and it looked beautiful. His city. His achievements all there for him to see with a small rainbow even if the sun hit the water molecules just the right way.

His city... but it wasn't. Not anymore. Today he was going to give the controls over to his son for the first time. Michael was in his mid-twenties, and it was time for him to start taking on these types of responsibilities. It was an empire and Michael was the prince. If the king ever fell, he would have to take up the mantle permanently...

Sam was worried, though. It wasn't that he didn't think his son could handle it - hell, look at half the things Sam had done in his own 25th year of life - but it was the protective father in him. He still looked at his son and remembered how tiny he had been in his arms when he was born. How Sam had nurtured and raised him over the years and now he couldn't deny that he had not done his job.

It was the fear in the unknown that clenched his heart and made this hard. Fear that doing this was putting his son in more danger than normal. Fear that with Sam gone, the Triad would attack. Michael didn't have the three hundred years of experience dealing with demons and there would be one thing Sam hadn't taught him yet that would be Michael's downfall.

Sam couldn't bear to lose his only son to that kind of mistake.

But Ruby was going to take him on this vacation no matter what, so it was time to do that. He had texted his son to come to his office, so it was now just a matter of waiting and getting up the nerve to see beyond the storm and hope that it was a rainbow that lay beyond, and not destruction.
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
I remembered each flash
as time began to blur
Like a startling sign
that fate had finally found me
-Linkin' Park "New Divide"

He had been keeping it a secret. Dean didn't like secrets but Sam knew he couldn't tell Dean. Dean would worry. Dean always worried and this was not a good thing for Dean to worry about. It would bring back bad memories and he would get sad and Sam couldn't make Dean sad. He hated making Dean sad.

But his head was hurting again, so he hid in the bathroom and pretended to take a shower. It was running, but he wasn't in it. Instead he was sitting between the toilet and sink with his head in his hands, trying to get the pain to stop.

And the pictures. He scrunched his eyes shut and there were people there and they were hurting and he didn't know who they were or what was happening. But they hurt and it made him hurt to the point where he wants to stab out his eyeballs so he didn't have to see anymore.

First they were in his dreams. He remembered how they had started like that before and now it was again. He curled up into Dean on those nights. Dean always made the bad things go away. But these weren't like his bad dreams Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They were real and he knew it somewhere which made them hurt more.

Then they started to happen when he was awake. So far they happened when Dean and Alec were gone. He didn't know what to do, and curled up on Dean's bed and clung to his pillow... if he could make it. And sometimes he knew what the dreams were and he could sneak away and try to help. Dean and Alec would be mad if they knew he was on his own helping people. But if he helped them the pain went away.

These pictures though came when Dean was just finishing his shower. Sam couldn't get into the room fast enough that the steam and the smell of Dean's body wash was still in the air. The sound of the water hid his whimpers as he rocked back and forth, trying not to see the pictures.

A little girl. A demon was in her. She was killing people. There was a preacher. He was a good man but she slit his throat and then started to use his blood like finger paints. Pretty pictures of things he remembered from the books in Bobby's place that smelt like magic and leather. She then smiled and the pictures went away.

He had lost track of how long he was in the bathroom, curled up. He wanted them to go away. They hurt and reminded him of how he had become a demon and it wasn't fair and he was dead and they should be gone and not here where it will make Dean sad and angry and...

Another stab of pain had Sam curled up tighter, making pitiful whimpering noises and just wanting it to stop. To go away. To be a normal boy again and not a demon or a freak. He wanted to be Sammy again. Not this.

It hurt too much.
likely_evil: (Fun - Researching)
It had started at the playground. Sam was getting into the habit now that springtime had come of taking baby Michael to the park. He would lather the baby up in sunscreen - no skin cancer on his son - and then sit on a blanket in the grass.

Michael was starting to learn to sit up, so Sam would stretch out on his side, reading a book while he son was propped up against his legs and playing with a swinging toy that Sam had straddling them both.

A few feet away, two mothers were playing with their infants, teaching them a word and then showing them the sign for it. After a moment, Sam put down his book and watched them.

"What are you guys doing?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Sign language." One of the mothers looked at him. "Since Cynthia can't speak yet, it's a good way for her to communicate her needs to me."

"You mean crying isn't enough?" Sam joked... he learned that wasn't something to joke about real quickly.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Weechesters - spaghettio's)
ooc: Based off this picture prompt. From John's POV.

John Winchester was learning rather quickly that his youngest son had a wild imagination. Also, that leaving him alone with Bobby was sometimes not such a good idea after all.

Sam was six now, sitting at the kitchen table when John got back from a hunt. Bobby was out working in the yard, and John would bet that Dean was following behind him, trying to learn and help with the cars. The mechanic blood ran strong in Dean, and he always wanted to know how things worked.

But not Sam. Sam was happy with the books and his gummi bears on the table. He had learned how to read by the time he was four, and some of the words that Sam knew now - but couldn't spell - made John feel like he had no education at all.

So seeing one of Bobby's research books open in front of Sam wasn't that big of a shock. However, it was turned to an especially graphic page with a human decapitating a vampire. "What you reading, Sammy?" John asked, putting his bag down on the counter.

"Uncle Bobby said it was a horror picture book. I can't read it because it's in pig latin, but the pictures are really gross." Sam looked up at his father and smiled, his fingers playing with the gummi bears. There was also a half eaten strawberry Jell-O cup beside his elbow.

"Well, I'll have to talk to Uncle Bobby about letting you read these things. It'll give you nightmares..." John went to pick up the book, then stopped as he saw exactly what Sam was doing with his gummi bears. "... Sam?"

"Yeah Dad?"

"Why don't you go out and play with Bobby's dog for awhile... get some fresh air."

"But orange bear still needs to set the vampire bear's head on fire." He pointed to the picture, then grabbed the box of matches. "I'm almost ready!"

John closed his eyes, then took the matches. "I don't think Bobby would appreciate you setting the kitchen on fire, Sam."

"But Daaaaaad..."

"Outside now, Sammy."

Sam just pouted, pushing his chair back and getting up. "You never let me have any fun," he stated, then grabbed Cheney by the collar and led the dog outside. John watched him go, then sat down at the table and shook his head.

He wasn't sure if he should be amused by this, or sad in knowing that eventually, Sam would be doing the same thing he was having his bears act out. Right now, he just wanted Sam to be a real kid and run around outside with the dog and play.

The monsters would come soon enough.
likely_evil: (Weechesters - spaghettio's)
“We are able to find everything in our memory, which is like a dispensary or chemical laboratory in which chance steers our hand sometimes to a soothing drug and sometimes to a dangerous poison.“ --Marcel Proust

There was a tree limb that Sam enjoyed sitting on. It was a nice, thick limb that he could lay on his stomach and watch the world around him. There was a park and a playground and the kids showed up at 3:23pm every day when it wasn't raining.

They had been in town for two weeks now on this hunt and Dean had told him to go out and explore because he and Alec had to sleep during the day for this hunt and Saw was bored just sitting in the room. So he went to the park every day and sat in his tree and waited to see what the kids would do.

When the kids got to the park, they all wanted to play on the swings first. Little kids went to one set, and the big kids went to the other set. Someone was always there to push the little kids I want Dad to push me Dean! Dad won't be back until after dark, Sammy... Higher Dean! Higher!!! and then they would go to the slide I'm scared Dean, it's too high! I'll be at the bottom to catch you, Sammy when it was someone else's turn.

There was a sandbox Don't eat that Sammy and a baseball field Good catch, Sammy and then some kids kicking around a white ball that Sam felt he should know how to play.

Sometimes the kids were not there, and Sam would lay on his back and look at the clouds. They would dance for him in the blue sky and sometimes make shapes Look Dean, a bunny! Look Sammy, my T-Rex is eating your stupid rabbit and sometimes they would follow behind the airplanes that flew in the air in lines that would spread out and then disappear.

And there was the one day that the clouds had been black and Sam had gone back to the motel really wet and Dean had been worried.

But the thing Sam liked the most at the park was seeing the ghosts of him and Dean walking around when they were kids. Because then he knew he was remembering things on his own, and they were happy memories and they made him smile. He liked to smile, so he came back day after day.

Maybe if he stayed there long enough, he could remember everything again. Then he and Dean would be very happy. He should ask Dean if they could stay then...

Oh look, the ice cream truck! Please Dean, I want a snow cone!!! Alright, but we're sharing it so don't slobber all over it Sammy...
likely_evil: (Madison - sleeping)
Yes my life is better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance
-Garth Brooks "The Dance"

Sam took a deep breath, shifting in his sleep. His mind noticed that something was wrong and his eyes opened a bit to look around.

He was in his bedroom, a white sheet thrown over him to give him a bit of modesty with all the windows open in the summer heat in New Orleans. Next to him, the pillow was still dented from the head that had laid there for half the night. A moment of panic hit him as he started to look around the room.

"Don't you be worrying 'bout me, Sammy boy. I'm just watching da sun rise." Desiree smiled from her spot on the balcony in his bedroom.

He slid out of bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he walked into the doorway. She was sitting on the chaise, her knees up against her chest as she stared off at the east. "Tina had good mojo findin' dis place with da baby on da way. Always liked comin' here."

Sam smiled from his spot. "I like having you here."

"Johnny be likin' me here too." Desiree looked up at Sam, matching his smile. "Dat boy turning more and more inta his daddy each day."

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I look at him and all I see is Dean."

"He'll do his daddy proud. I can see it."

Sam moved closer, moving to sit behind her on the chaise, arms slipping around Desiree's waist as they leaned back together. "You know, he's going to need a mother too at some point," he said into her ear softly.

Desiree was quiet a moment, then turned around in Sam's arms to look up at him. "Sammy boy, what you asking me?"

He bit his lip a moment, then looked down at her as he ran a hand along her cheek. "You pointed out to me a few months ago about how much time we wasted dancing around each other. I don't want to waste any more time."


"Desiree... I want you to be a part of my life. Forever."

She smiled and tilted her head up to kiss Sam's lips. "Thought you'd never ask."

Sam smiled, then settled back against the chaise and pulled Desiree down to lay on top of him as they kept kissing in the first rays of the rising sun. He was happier now than he had been in a long time, and knew that it could only get better.

He may still hurt from the pain that he had gone through to get to this point - and while he would love to have his brother back - he wouldn't trade the uncertainty of the hunter's life he had for what he had now. A father, in the arms of the woman he loved... life couldn't get better.
likely_evil: (Dean - angry glare)
ooc: Hear the Song Here

He was waiting at the hotel in the honeymoon suite, having just gotten Ruby on the phone. He had driven through the night until he found this place. When was the last time he slept? Ate? Drank?

Ruby was on her way. It would be over soon, Sam. Lay down and sleep, and the time will go fast and then she would be there and everything would be alright and the pain would stop.

But it didn't. His hallucinations still talked in his head, replaying over and over. He felt Alastair cutting into him, crying out in pain and knowing he would never have lasted a day in Hell if this was what waited for him.

He couldn't last a day... Dean lasted thirty years. Dean is stronger than him... he... he could do this. Maybe...

Your brother doesn't understand... Dean can never know how strong you are... because Dean is weak.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Dean - he takes care of me)
Down the road, not across the street...

Ever since Dean had tried to help him up from that table and he had passed out, Sam saw the world in moments of nauseous green and black moments. He knew he was in the backseat of the Impala, his arms bound up and... handing off the passenger seat? Why... oh yeah, above the heart keeps from bleeding out. Dad taught him that when he was six and cut his hand on the hunting knife.

Hold it up, Sammy. Keep pressure on it Dean. We're almost to the hospital.

Hospital. Adam's mom was a nurse. Adam... his brother. Half Brother. Dead. Why did his family always die on him?

He was Dean's little brother. Sam had always wanted a little brother of his own, someone to look up to him and teach and protect like Dean always did for him. And there had been one all along. Sam had done the math. He was eight when Adam was born. Eight. Just learning about the hunting world and once a year while Dean and Sam sat alone in motel rooms worried on if he would ever come back.

Sam hated knowing that Dad held this kid above him and Dean. Why did Adam get to be free of this life, but he and Dean had to fight in it? Why did he want Adam to get the white picket fence when it was all Sam wanted.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Samael - watching)
1) "There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, and who always will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There's a reason they didn't make it into your future." - Anonymous

Sam stood outside the elementary school, looking up at the building. It was huge, and there was a moment of fear in him. How would a small kid starting kindergarten manage to survive in this place? He'd get lost in a second and it could take days before he found his way out. And Sam hadn't even checked to see what kind of ghosts might haunt the place or put wards on the building and he sure as hell hadn't...

"Uncle Sam?"

Blinking, Sam looked down at the little boy holding his hand. There was a Batman lunchbox in his other hand. "Yeah, Johnny?"

"I'm scared."

Me too... )
likely_evil: (Other - Thoughtful)
“Mr. Vaughn, you're young and you're eager, and I understand that. But one thing you're not, and this is something only time can provide, really, is wise.” -Jack Bristow, Alias

It was a Tuesday night. Sam remembered it well, like he did most days of his near 300 years of life now. He had finished a meeting with one of the specialist teams and was ready to eat a cold dinner - he had missed it being warm by 2 hours now - and check on his son while Ruby went out on a "thing" she had to do.

He noticed that there was a growing pile of college pamphlets on the counter, and he flipped through them absently as he realized that Michael was actually old enough to start thinking about things like college and a future. There were times Sam still wished his boy, his miracle baby boy, was still just that - his baby.

But he knew that time went on and his son was becoming an adult before his eyes. It was a blink in his life now, but Michael was turning 17 soon... Sam chuckled as he remembered himself at 17. Interesting times.

There were a lot of pamphlets here... and envelopes that weren't open. Confusion crossed his face and finally Sam just gathered them up and headed back to the room with the loud music playing. This wasn't something Ruby would really know how to talk to Michael about - when she had been alive, college wasn't really an option - so it was going to be a father & son talk.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
ooc: based off this picture.

It was on Bobby's front porch that Sam saw the fireflies dancing around the tree. Little lights that reflected in his shiny black eyes as he stood there, head tilted to the side. Watching.

It was summer and the fireflies always came out in the summer. They liked the heat. Warmth that surrounded them and made their wings happy to flit around the tree with hundreds of others. Warmth that wrapped around him in a gentle way too. Not like the fire that burned at him Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! as strips of him were cut away.

All those fireflies reminded him of how many things he couldn't remember. He should remember. They were parts of him but they burnt away. Gone. He did not come back from Hell whole. Not fully Sammy. Not human. Missing too many fireflies in his head.

He wondered sometimes. Wondered if maybe he went back to Hell - would he be able to catch his fireflies and be a real soul again? Then he could be Sammy again all the way and Dean would be happy.

Some of the fireflies came closer, and Sam held a hand out to them. One landed right on his palm and he pulled it closer to look at it. No memories came to him, but instead it was a grayish bug that crawled along his skin with big wings and a white butt.

He brought his other hand up to run a finger along the bug. It's wings shifted a bit and tried to move in the other direction. Curious, he went to go poke at it and see if it would -



Sam turned around, wiping his hands on his jeans like a 5 year old who was trying to clean up a mess before Mom found out about it. Bobby just watched him a moment, eyebrow raised. "Whatcha lookin' at, son?"

"Fireflies," Sam responded innocently. "They aren't mine though. Too messy."


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Sam Winchester

May 2016

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