Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2009-04-08 11:08 am
likely_evil) wrote2009-04-08 11:08 am
for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mad_muses: Family Business
“Mr. Vaughn, you're young and you're eager, and I understand that. But one thing you're not, and this is something only time can provide, really, is wise.” -Jack Bristow, Alias
It was a Tuesday night. Sam remembered it well, like he did most days of his near 300 years of life now. He had finished a meeting with one of the specialist teams and was ready to eat a cold dinner - he had missed it being warm by 2 hours now - and check on his son while Ruby went out on a "thing" she had to do.
He noticed that there was a growing pile of college pamphlets on the counter, and he flipped through them absently as he realized that Michael was actually old enough to start thinking about things like college and a future. There were times Sam still wished his boy, his miracle baby boy, was still just that - his baby.
But he knew that time went on and his son was becoming an adult before his eyes. It was a blink in his life now, but Michael was turning 17 soon... Sam chuckled as he remembered himself at 17. Interesting times.
There were a lot of pamphlets here... and envelopes that weren't open. Confusion crossed his face and finally Sam just gathered them up and headed back to the room with the loud music playing. This wasn't something Ruby would really know how to talk to Michael about - when she had been alive, college wasn't really an option - so it was going to be a father & son talk.
He knocked loudly and cracked the door open, looking at the gangly teenager at his desk working hard on a paper. Michael turned to look at his father, reaching up to turn the music down. "Yeah, Dad?"
"I've noticed you've been getting some mail lately." He held up the pamphlets. "I thought maybe we could talk a bit and see what you might be thinking about doing after high school."
Michael was watching him carefully, Sam noted. There was something that he had missed, something Michael wanted to do that Sam hadn't realized.
"I don't want to go to college," Michael stated honestly. "I've been thinking, and you've always prided yourself so much on this place being a Winchester heritage. And I'm a Winchester. I... I want to be a hunter, Dad. Like you, and Uncle Dean, and grandpa..."
Sam lowered his head a moment and took a deep breath. It didn't surprise him, really. Ruby and him had talked about what they would do if Michael followed them down this path, but they had always hoped perhaps he might want something more.
"Have you ever let yourself think outside of this, though? Or are you feeling that you have to do this out of a family obligation?"
Michael leaned back a bit, the shock on his face easy for Sam to see. Sam smirked a bit, realizing that his son had been waiting for a firm NO from Sam. "You've always told me about how much fun you and Dean had on the job. And I know it's dangerous, but you've put so much of your life into this; it would feel wrong not keeping it going. Even if odds are that you're going to outlive me."
Sam chuckled at that. "Don't remind me about that. It's not something I'm looking forward to."
"Sorry. No more Immortal Dad jokes tonight."
"Thanks." Sam looked through the pamphlets a bit, stopping at the one for Stanford. "Have I ever told you about my college years at Stanford?"
"Not really. Wait... you mean... you actually went to college? I thought you just made that up so I wouldn't be a hunter."
"No, I went. Back from 2000 until 2003 or 2004. A long time ago. My dad was pissed at me too, basically told me that if I wasn't going to be a hunter with him and Dean, if I walked out that door, to never come back. I was your age at the time, and I wanted to do anything else in the world but hunt. So I packed up my bag and walked out, finished high school and got a scholarship at Stanford to study law."
"You wanted to be a lawyer?" Michael laughed.
"I thought it was ironic, spending my whole life living illegally, and then wanting to be a lawyer. My father didn't get the joke." Sam put the pamphlets on the bed and looked at his son. "I guess I just want you to know that you don't have to feel you need to do this."
"It's my choice though, right? You're not going to disown me or anything if I say I want to..."
Sam laughed at that. "No, I won't. But I want you to think. Right now you're young and eager to jump into this. But sometimes, when you focus too hard on wanting one thing, you lose sight of everything else available to you. I don't want you to ignore it."
"I'm not ignoring it, Dad. I just... I want to do this. But I want you to want me to do it. I want you to train me to do it. I don't want to become just some other hunter in the organization. I want to really be your son and have my Dad show me the ropes, even if that means you're going to ride me harder to do good. I want it to be something that is ours."
Something inside of Sam swelled up in pride at his son's words and he smiled a bit. "How about we make a deal?"
"What kind of deal?" Michael raised an eyebrow, unsure of where Sam was going with this.
"In the end, whatever you want to do with your life if your choice - doctor, lawyer, hunter. No matter what you do, you're always going to be a Winchester, and I'm always going to be proud of you. The hunter life will always be here for you. But I want you to experience life outside of it first, if only for a year." He looked at the pamphlets. "There's a world out there, Michael. You may find you like it, and I don't want you to throw it away."
"Dad..."
"Let me finish." Sam looked at Michael. "One year. After you graduate, I want you to take a year. Go to college, backpack through Europe, Peace Corps, Military, get an apartment in the city and find a job; whatever you want, I want you to do it and I'll finance whatever you need me to for it. We've got more than enough money, so that's not a problem. I want you to chase your dreams."
"And if your dreams lead you back here after a year," Sam looked at his son and smirked a bit, " - and you decide that this is the life you want... then I'm going to make sure you get trained by only the best."
A smile broke on Michael's face and it was impulsive that he got up and hugged his father. "Thank you, Dad," he said into Sam's shoulder before pulling away, clearing his throat.
Sam held his son at arm's length, then playfully ruffled his hair. "Finish your homework, and maybe this weekend we can look through a few of these together and see what you might like to try out, ok? Schedule a few tours this summer."
"Sure thing."
Sam left to let Michael get back to his homework, and after he closed the door he just leaned against the wall a moment. The music didn't turn back on, but instead he heard his son talking animatedly on the phone to one of his friends.
He closed his eyes and smiled. The one thing he had always feared somewhere in his heart was that Michael was going to do the same thing to him that he had to John all those centuries ago. To lose his only son like that... that would have killed him.
Michael deserved the ability to make his choices, just like Sam had felt at that age. At least this way, Sam was able to talk about these kind of choices with the wisdom he had gained from his own experience. And while he had not benefited much from it as a teenager, his son was reaping the benefits of his father's wisdom now.
And that was all that mattered now to Sam - his son's happiness... no matter where the future led him.
It was a Tuesday night. Sam remembered it well, like he did most days of his near 300 years of life now. He had finished a meeting with one of the specialist teams and was ready to eat a cold dinner - he had missed it being warm by 2 hours now - and check on his son while Ruby went out on a "thing" she had to do.
He noticed that there was a growing pile of college pamphlets on the counter, and he flipped through them absently as he realized that Michael was actually old enough to start thinking about things like college and a future. There were times Sam still wished his boy, his miracle baby boy, was still just that - his baby.
But he knew that time went on and his son was becoming an adult before his eyes. It was a blink in his life now, but Michael was turning 17 soon... Sam chuckled as he remembered himself at 17. Interesting times.
There were a lot of pamphlets here... and envelopes that weren't open. Confusion crossed his face and finally Sam just gathered them up and headed back to the room with the loud music playing. This wasn't something Ruby would really know how to talk to Michael about - when she had been alive, college wasn't really an option - so it was going to be a father & son talk.
He knocked loudly and cracked the door open, looking at the gangly teenager at his desk working hard on a paper. Michael turned to look at his father, reaching up to turn the music down. "Yeah, Dad?"
"I've noticed you've been getting some mail lately." He held up the pamphlets. "I thought maybe we could talk a bit and see what you might be thinking about doing after high school."
Michael was watching him carefully, Sam noted. There was something that he had missed, something Michael wanted to do that Sam hadn't realized.
"I don't want to go to college," Michael stated honestly. "I've been thinking, and you've always prided yourself so much on this place being a Winchester heritage. And I'm a Winchester. I... I want to be a hunter, Dad. Like you, and Uncle Dean, and grandpa..."
Sam lowered his head a moment and took a deep breath. It didn't surprise him, really. Ruby and him had talked about what they would do if Michael followed them down this path, but they had always hoped perhaps he might want something more.
"Have you ever let yourself think outside of this, though? Or are you feeling that you have to do this out of a family obligation?"
Michael leaned back a bit, the shock on his face easy for Sam to see. Sam smirked a bit, realizing that his son had been waiting for a firm NO from Sam. "You've always told me about how much fun you and Dean had on the job. And I know it's dangerous, but you've put so much of your life into this; it would feel wrong not keeping it going. Even if odds are that you're going to outlive me."
Sam chuckled at that. "Don't remind me about that. It's not something I'm looking forward to."
"Sorry. No more Immortal Dad jokes tonight."
"Thanks." Sam looked through the pamphlets a bit, stopping at the one for Stanford. "Have I ever told you about my college years at Stanford?"
"Not really. Wait... you mean... you actually went to college? I thought you just made that up so I wouldn't be a hunter."
"No, I went. Back from 2000 until 2003 or 2004. A long time ago. My dad was pissed at me too, basically told me that if I wasn't going to be a hunter with him and Dean, if I walked out that door, to never come back. I was your age at the time, and I wanted to do anything else in the world but hunt. So I packed up my bag and walked out, finished high school and got a scholarship at Stanford to study law."
"You wanted to be a lawyer?" Michael laughed.
"I thought it was ironic, spending my whole life living illegally, and then wanting to be a lawyer. My father didn't get the joke." Sam put the pamphlets on the bed and looked at his son. "I guess I just want you to know that you don't have to feel you need to do this."
"It's my choice though, right? You're not going to disown me or anything if I say I want to..."
Sam laughed at that. "No, I won't. But I want you to think. Right now you're young and eager to jump into this. But sometimes, when you focus too hard on wanting one thing, you lose sight of everything else available to you. I don't want you to ignore it."
"I'm not ignoring it, Dad. I just... I want to do this. But I want you to want me to do it. I want you to train me to do it. I don't want to become just some other hunter in the organization. I want to really be your son and have my Dad show me the ropes, even if that means you're going to ride me harder to do good. I want it to be something that is ours."
Something inside of Sam swelled up in pride at his son's words and he smiled a bit. "How about we make a deal?"
"What kind of deal?" Michael raised an eyebrow, unsure of where Sam was going with this.
"In the end, whatever you want to do with your life if your choice - doctor, lawyer, hunter. No matter what you do, you're always going to be a Winchester, and I'm always going to be proud of you. The hunter life will always be here for you. But I want you to experience life outside of it first, if only for a year." He looked at the pamphlets. "There's a world out there, Michael. You may find you like it, and I don't want you to throw it away."
"Dad..."
"Let me finish." Sam looked at Michael. "One year. After you graduate, I want you to take a year. Go to college, backpack through Europe, Peace Corps, Military, get an apartment in the city and find a job; whatever you want, I want you to do it and I'll finance whatever you need me to for it. We've got more than enough money, so that's not a problem. I want you to chase your dreams."
"And if your dreams lead you back here after a year," Sam looked at his son and smirked a bit, " - and you decide that this is the life you want... then I'm going to make sure you get trained by only the best."
A smile broke on Michael's face and it was impulsive that he got up and hugged his father. "Thank you, Dad," he said into Sam's shoulder before pulling away, clearing his throat.
Sam held his son at arm's length, then playfully ruffled his hair. "Finish your homework, and maybe this weekend we can look through a few of these together and see what you might like to try out, ok? Schedule a few tours this summer."
"Sure thing."
Sam left to let Michael get back to his homework, and after he closed the door he just leaned against the wall a moment. The music didn't turn back on, but instead he heard his son talking animatedly on the phone to one of his friends.
He closed his eyes and smiled. The one thing he had always feared somewhere in his heart was that Michael was going to do the same thing to him that he had to John all those centuries ago. To lose his only son like that... that would have killed him.
Michael deserved the ability to make his choices, just like Sam had felt at that age. At least this way, Sam was able to talk about these kind of choices with the wisdom he had gained from his own experience. And while he had not benefited much from it as a teenager, his son was reaping the benefits of his father's wisdom now.
And that was all that mattered now to Sam - his son's happiness... no matter where the future led him.