Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2010-01-12 10:16 pm
likely_evil) wrote2010-01-12 10:16 pm
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mad_muses: Brothers and Love
“I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.” --Martha Washington
"Why are you and Daddy not as close as Ben and Alec?" Sammy asked one day as she sat in Samael's living room, coloring in a book. "Brothers are supposed to be best friends."
The question caught him by surprise, and Samael could only look over at the four year old he was babysitting for the afternoon. Sammy was intent on her picture, not even looking up as she asked her question out of the blue, and he took a moment before answering it.
"Your Dad and I are that close," he explained gently. "More, in fact. But..." How to explain that life happens and sometimes it's not what you hope to a child.
"Did you have a big fight?"
"No. I just..." He bit his lip and sat on the floor across from her. "You know how sometimes your brothers do something that make you very mad, but you end up forgiving them for being mean?"
"Yeah."
"But sometimes you are still mad even when they said they were sorry, and you're still mad but you don't act like it?"
"Uh huh."
Samael gave her a small smile. "Your Dad just feels that way. He's still mad at me, even though he knows I'm sorry. And one day we're going to be very close again like we were, just not yet. But that doesn't mean he stopped loving me."
"I'm gonna tell Daddy to stop being mad at you." Sammy put her crayon down and looked at her uncle across the table. "You can't be that bad."
He just looked at her and smiled. "He will stop being mad when he's ready."
"But you need Daddy. You're sad." She got up and walked over, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Ben and Alec fight but they are never sad because they have each other. You need Daddy and then Daddy and you would be sad."
Tears came to Samael's eyes and he hugged his niece back tightly. Sammy then pulled back and gave Samael a kiss on his cheek. "Don't cry."
Wiping his cheek, Samael smiled at the little girl. He knew that he and Dean would eventually get back to being brothers again like they had been. Maybe never that close. It would be different, and at moments like this, Sam remembered that his sacrifice had still been the right choice.
Because this beautiful little girl wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.
"I'm just happy," Samael told her, ruffling her head. "Let's start cleaning up. Your daddy will be here to pick you up soon."
"Then I will tell him to stop being mad at you."
He sighed and chuckled. "Why don't I tell him that, and you tell him about the llama you got to pet at the zoo today?"
"And how it sneezed on you and got boogers on your shoe!"
"I'm sure he would enjoy hearing about that instead."
"Why are you and Daddy not as close as Ben and Alec?" Sammy asked one day as she sat in Samael's living room, coloring in a book. "Brothers are supposed to be best friends."
The question caught him by surprise, and Samael could only look over at the four year old he was babysitting for the afternoon. Sammy was intent on her picture, not even looking up as she asked her question out of the blue, and he took a moment before answering it.
"Your Dad and I are that close," he explained gently. "More, in fact. But..." How to explain that life happens and sometimes it's not what you hope to a child.
"Did you have a big fight?"
"No. I just..." He bit his lip and sat on the floor across from her. "You know how sometimes your brothers do something that make you very mad, but you end up forgiving them for being mean?"
"Yeah."
"But sometimes you are still mad even when they said they were sorry, and you're still mad but you don't act like it?"
"Uh huh."
Samael gave her a small smile. "Your Dad just feels that way. He's still mad at me, even though he knows I'm sorry. And one day we're going to be very close again like we were, just not yet. But that doesn't mean he stopped loving me."
"I'm gonna tell Daddy to stop being mad at you." Sammy put her crayon down and looked at her uncle across the table. "You can't be that bad."
He just looked at her and smiled. "He will stop being mad when he's ready."
"But you need Daddy. You're sad." She got up and walked over, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. "Ben and Alec fight but they are never sad because they have each other. You need Daddy and then Daddy and you would be sad."
Tears came to Samael's eyes and he hugged his niece back tightly. Sammy then pulled back and gave Samael a kiss on his cheek. "Don't cry."
Wiping his cheek, Samael smiled at the little girl. He knew that he and Dean would eventually get back to being brothers again like they had been. Maybe never that close. It would be different, and at moments like this, Sam remembered that his sacrifice had still been the right choice.
Because this beautiful little girl wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.
"I'm just happy," Samael told her, ruffling her head. "Let's start cleaning up. Your daddy will be here to pick you up soon."
"Then I will tell him to stop being mad at you."
He sighed and chuckled. "Why don't I tell him that, and you tell him about the llama you got to pet at the zoo today?"
"And how it sneezed on you and got boogers on your shoe!"
"I'm sure he would enjoy hearing about that instead."