likely_evil | mad_muses: Whoa. Awkward.

(ooc: takes place in a new verse. Castiel is

jstliketherifle. Both are used with love and permission.)

"Alright, that's it. I need to get some air."

Sam stood up and walked towards Bobby's front door, reaching for his jacket. "I'm taking the Impala. I'll be back in the morning."

"Sam, wait up." Dean untangled himself from Jo on the couch, catching up to him at the door. "Where you going?"

He pursed his lips, looking over his brother's shoulder at Jo a moment before back at Dean. "It's getting a little too awkward in here. I need to go blow off some steam."

Dean watched him a moment. "No."

"Dean, come on..."

"You're not going alone."

Sam took a deep breath. "I'm going to a bar. I don't plan to come home until morning."

Dean looked at his brother a moment, and then his eyes widened. "OH. Oh, Sammy, has it really been that long?"

"Shut up. Give me the keys."

Laughing, Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out the key chain, then stopped a second. "You really shouldn't go on your own. I mean..."

"Say one thing about demon chicks and me and I will find a different way to blow off steam."

"Relax, sparky. I'm thinking more about the fact there's a devil who want to wear you." Dean turned to look around the room, and a smirk came to his face. "Take Cas with you."

"Dean!"

Castiel heard Dean say his name and walked over. "You have something you need me to help with?"

"Yeah, Cas. Sam's taking off for the night and he needs a wingman."

"I don't need a wingman."

"Sure, you do." Dean was beaming as he slapped Sam on the shoulder. "So you two go out, have a few, and take care of each other."

"Dean is right. You should not go out on your own with Lucifer looking for you." Castiel started for the door. "I'll make sure you're safe until we get back here."

Sam gave a suffering sigh, throwing a look over at his brother. Dean smiled and waved before settling back in with Jo on the couch. "And Sammy... remember the condoms are in the glove box. We don't need you catching anything else."

"Screw you," he muttered, slamming the door behind him.

***

"Are you ready to go back now?" Castiel asked, walking up to the bar where Sam was talking with a woman. She looked at Castiel, then Sam and scoffed, rolling her eyes and walking away. Sam held out a hand to stop him, then lowered it in defeat to the bar before turning to look at Castiel.

"Cas, what did I say about bothering me when I'm talking to a woman?"

"That was a man."

"What?" Sam whipped his head back over to look at the woman who had walked away. "No, that's a woman."

"No, a man. He has had many operations to make it appear that he is a woman though."

"Huh." Sam took a deep breath and reached for his beer. "Well, thank you for that."

"... you're welcome. Are you ready to leave now?"

Sam looked at his angelic wingman for the night and sighed. "Cas... you don't get what I'm doing, do you?"

"You are partaking in alcohol and talking to women who you hope to impress with a false story of who you are." Castiel stated, and the bartender snorted and quickly walked away with Sam's glare.

"Well, ok, but there's a reason for that."

"What reason would you have to lie to a woman?"

Sam licked his lips. "Didn't Dean already go over this with you?"

Castiel tilted his head a moment. "You're trying to get one of these women to have sexual intercourse with you?"

Scrunching his nose up, Sam turned to look over the bar. "Don't say it like that."

"Why are you and your brother so focused on the physical pleasures?" Castiel asked. "You should be working to expand your faith instead of deluging in sin."

"Because sometimes, Cas... sometimes it's a way to remind you that you're human."

"By sinning?"

"No." Sam sighed, feeling tired. "Sometimes when things aren't good, it's a way to reconnect with a person."

"You can do that in many ways that does not involve sin."

Sam closed his eyes. "But it doesn't feel as good."

Castiel watched Sam a moment, then sighed. "You will not leave this place until you have someone to have sexu... leave with."

"That's my plan," Sam stated, finishing his beer.

Sighing, Castiel looked around the bar, looking at each of the souls in the bar. Finally he pointed at one girl who was standing at the jukebox. "Talk with her."

"Huh?" Sam turned to look at the woman, then quickly lowered Cas' hand. "Don't point."

"Your brother wants me to watch over you. That woman is looking for the same thing you are, and has a very good soul." Castiel looked at Sam seriously. "If you were to leave with anyone, I would want you to leave with her."

Sam looked at Castiel, confused. "You were just lecturing me about wanting to do this, and now you're picking out girls for me?"

Castiel looked awkward for a moment and shrugged a shoulder. "You will not listen to me about not doing this. And I do not want to be here all night. People keep staring at me."

"Maybe you should wear something else besides the suit."

Castiel looked down at his outfit. "What is wrong with what I am wearing?"

Sam gave a quick grimace. "You stand out."

"I do?"

"Yeah, just a bit." Sam nodded. He looked over at the girl, then hit Cas on the chest. "Wish me luck."

"Do you feel you need luck?" Castiel asked.

Sam was about to explain and then just shook his head. "I'll explain later. Here, have a drink." He put some money on the table and motioned for the bartender to give Cas a beer before he picked up his and walked over to the jukebox.

While Sam talked to the woman at the jukebox, another woman came over to tap Castiel on his shoulder. "You know, my friend and I couldn't help but notice you haven't come over to say hello to us yet," she stated.

"I do not know you," Castiel pointed out, then looked down as he felt the woman start to play with his tie.

"Well, then come over and get to know us." She smiled, and started to pull Castiel by his tie.

"I am with a friend..." He pointed over at Sam.

"And he's making a new friend at the moment. You should to." She sat Castiel down and pulled a chair up beside him. They proceeded to chat with him, talking more about themselves than letting Castiel actually speak.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam walked over with the woman from the jukebox tucked under his arm. He came up behind Cas and patted his shoulder. "I'm leaving now."

"I'll go with you," he stated, standing up.

"Oh no, you..." Sam laughed a bit. "You are not following me. Not right now."

"But Dean said..."

"Yeah, I don't care what Dean said. I'm going to be fine, and I will call you in the morning." He looked at the two women at the table and smiled at them. "You keep talking to your new friends."

"I would much rather go with you."

"I'm sorry, ladies. He's just shy." Sam sat Castiel back in the chair. "Just don't let him drink too much or he'll start quoting scripture to you."

Castiel glared at Sam's back as he walked out the door with the woman, then looked at the two sitting across from him. "I... I believe that it is proper for me to buy you both a drink. It appears I will now be here for awhile."