likely_evil | My Hopeless Dream...

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My Hopeless Dream...

It had been almost two years since Sam had stood in the doorway to Lana's home. Two years since he had wished her goodbye to go off and fight the devil. Fifteen months since he had sent her his Ipod with a goodbye audio file on it. And apparently when he had come out without a soul, he either had not come back, or he had but had screwed up royally.

Either way, now that he was himself again, he knew he needed to see her. He needed to let her know he was alive and that the devil was gone. To see just how her life had changed after that, and most of all, to just see if she was happy.

Leaving his brother at the motel a few towns over, Sam parked the Impala on the street and walked up to her door, and knocked on it gently. He turned a bit to look around the neighborhood as he waited for her to answer, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He just hoped this wasn't a big mistake.

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He wasn't ready for that either, and needed to take a step or two back to get his balance when she came at him. But he kissed her right back, wrapping his arms around her and just clinging to her and trying not to cry like a little girl.

She was there. He was alive and for all he know this was his last chance at life and had run out of "Get Out of Hell Free" cards with this instance. There was no guarantee on how long the wall in his brain was going to hold up, and after that first scare, he knew that if he needed to have this in his life, he had to do it now.

Maybe if he and Lana worked, Dean would try and stay with Lisa more too.

Lana held onto that kiss for as long as she could, but it was nowhere near long enough. The sobs were coming and she needed to breathe, but she stayed as close as she could and clung to him as desperately as she'd ever done with anyone.

"I missed you so much," she managed to push out in between.

"Same here."

He kissed the top of her forehead, then just kept her close as he rested her head on top of hers.

"Things have been crazy. I would have come sooner, but you know that whole coming back from the dead thing really sucks."

She had to laugh at that, even while still crying.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does."

"So can I come inside? I think I'm now bleeding all over the back of your shirt now."

But he wasn't letting go of her anytime soon. Good thing Dean wasn't planning on him coming home tonight.

"Are you planning on bleeding all over my bed, too?" she teased.

"Hopefully you'll give me time to patch this up first." He laughed. it felt so good to laugh again. The last few years, it had been hard to find that kind of enjoyment.

"And maybe get something to drink. I forgot to grab a water bottle when I borrowed the Impala, and that saltwater really did take nasty and I'd like to get that taste out of my mouth."

Lana laughed, too, running both hands through his hair. It was a welcome change. "You're going to have to carry me if you expect to get anywhere."

He smiled down at her. That playfulness was still there in her eyes, and he couldn't help it but lean back down and kiss her again as he wrapped his arms around her to lift her up and carry her back inside her home, kicking the door shut behind him.

She kissed him back long enough for them to get inside, but then her mind went to their surroundings. Her place wasn't as tidy as she usually kept it, videos and DVDs littered about, a few boxes here and there and a small mound of tissues still lying on the couch.

She pulled away a little, just enough to talk. "Uh...I apologize for the mess. It's been a rough couple of weeks."

He looked around, realizing that hell, there could be another guy living there too. He had thought all of that out before he got here, but seeing her face had made it all fade from his mind.

"Is everything okay?" he noticed the tissues. "Have you been sick or something?"

She looked down, quiet for a moment or two. "My Aunt Nell, the one who raised me after my parents died...she..." Lana bit her lip, trying not to start crying again. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. I--" She paused to take a breath. "I lose her, then get you back..."

He bit his lip, then just pulled her tightly against his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

She closed her eyes and leaned against him. "I wish the two of you could have met," she said softly. "She always wanted me to end up with someone well-off who would ravish me with gifts..." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "But I know she would have loved you."

His hand went to stroke her hair gently. "That's good to know. Lately, I'm running out of people with that mindset."

Lana took a breath before speaking. "I find that hard to believe."

"It's been a year and a half, apparently. Things happen."

He knew he had to ask. "There isn't... there isn't someone you're waiting to have come home..."

"What?" She pulled away to stare at him for a moment. "No. I would think that would be obvious." She moved a hand to his cheek. "There's no one else. There never will be anyone else."

"Well, it's been almost two years. And I really shouldn't have been able to come back. So I wouldn't have blamed you if you had." He reached up to hold her hand against his cheek, having missed that feeling.

Lana grinned slightly. "You obviously don't realize how hard you are to get over."

"I guess I don't. I'm flattered."

She smiled at him, holding her hand there a few moments longer before pulling it away. "Didn't you want to clean up your arm?" she asked softly.

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, and something to wash the salt taste out of my mouth. Please."

"I guess that means you have to put me down now..."

"Oh." He carefully put her down, then pulled his arm back to look at the cut that was starting to clot, but still was a mess.

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