Broken Winchester on the Doorstep - for horsewoman_lana

[likely_evil]

ooc: Dean referred to here is winchesterjerk, abusedused with permission.

After Dean was out of the hospital, Sam had continued his hovering in the motel as Dean recovered. Asking him every five minutes if he needed something. Wanted something. Finally, around day 2 of this, Dean gave Sam a look and told him that Sam needed to go out and get some air before he suffocated him.

Of course, he threatened to kill Sam if he did so much as scratch the Impala.

Sam decided to take a drive. Fresh air, open road, music on the Ipod that sat in the passenger seat so that he could detach it and not freak Dean out again with it's presence. He didn't have any place really in mind as to where he was going, but as he passed the road sign announcing his arrival in Smallville, Kansas, did Sam recognize his unconscious path.

Finding Lana's place was easy. Walking to her door was a bit harder, and suddenly he just felt the weight of the world on his shoulders because of everything that had been happening and life was spinning out of control and he just needed something.

Something Dean couldn't give him. Something even Ruby couldn't give him. And so he turned to the only other person he knew that could.

He rang the bell, and just stood there, hoping Lana was home and alone. Because otherwise they might witness at very tall man breaking down like a baby in her arms.

Comments

[likely_evil]

He sat up, looking at her and wiping an arm across his eyes. "I've just been sitting her blubbering for about 10 minutes," he pointed out. "I doubt there if much you can do to top that."

[manorsuperman]

She hoped not.

Lana took a deep breath and wiped her face. "Okay...I didn't plan on starting college right out of high school, but at the last minute I decided to enroll at Metropolis University. The thing was, by then there was no housing left, so I decided to pledge one of the sororities...that's where things get interesting..." She bit her lip, afraid to continue...but she'd already started, and with a guy who was clearly hooked on research, no matter what his real job was, it was way too late to stop. "It turns out the president of that sorority was from Smallville. Sometime before then, she'd gotten herself trapped in a cave full of meteor rock. The radiation mutated everything in the cave...including the bats that attacked her." Come on, Lana, just a little more. "Those bats weren't quite as mutated as the strain of rabies they carried...so..." She licked her lips. "When I was accepted into the sisterhood, that strain was passed on to me. Up until the point that my friends realized what was going on and found a cure...I was...kind of a vampire."

[likely_evil]

Sam looked at her. Then he started to chuckle. Then laughed and just rest his head against her shoulder.

"No wonder why we get along so well..." he said sadly.

[manorsuperman]

She leaned her head against his. "I drank from someone powerful, too," she said softly. "Not a demon, but...powerful..."

[likely_evil]

"And when you have that kind of power in your veins..."

[manorsuperman]

"Yeah...I ended up killing the president of the sorority. Vaporized her..."

[likely_evil]

"Well... you killed the bad guy in the end."

[manorsuperman]

"Yeah...but I killed a lot of innocent people, too...I almost killed Chloe..."

[likely_evil]

"I don't want to think about some of the things I've done."

[manorsuperman]

"Neither do I...I've been lucky enough to have someone to believe in me, stand by me no matter what...love me when I thought I was unlovable..." If you only heard the words, you might think she was talking about herself, which she was...but not completely. Her tone was subtly trying to tell him that she would be that for him if he'd let her...especially that last part.

[likely_evil]

"You're lucky then to have that someone in your life. Never let them go."

[manorsuperman]

She grinned a little to herself. She should have known that wouldn't work. "You shouldn't either, Sam."

[likely_evil]

He looked up at her with that, confused.

[manorsuperman]

She looked down at him with a warm look in her eyes. "You have someone like that, too. And I don't mean your brother."

[likely_evil]

"Lana.. I can't bring you into this..."

[manorsuperman]

"I'm not asking you to bring me into anything. I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what happens..." She closed her eyes for a moment to summon the courage to just say it, before she missed her chance. When she was ready, she opened them again, looking him straight in the eye. "That I'll love you no matter what happens..."

[likely_evil]

His eyes widened and he shook his head a bit, pulling back. "No, don't say that, Lana. It's too dangerous to say that..."

He had been falling for her too - he had been for awhile and his feet led him to her - but every woman he loved had died. If she... if he...

He couldn't. Not again. Not give the demons a target to use against him. Lilith would have a field day.

[manorsuperman]

"Life is dangerous, for both of us." She looked at him sadly. "All the more reason to say it, while I know I still have the chance."

[likely_evil]

He got up, away, needing space to breathe. "You don't understand... they will kill you if they know. They have. They will and they will do it slow and painful and I can't let that happen to anyone else. Not now."

[manorsuperman]

She stood herself, though she stayed where she was. "I'm not afraid, Sam. If it happens, it happens."

[likely_evil]

"NO!" He tried to back away and tripped on a crack in the floor, falling to the ground. He wrapped his hands around his knees, burying his face in them.

"I can't lose another person... I can't. Please don't do this... please..." he whispered softly.

[manorsuperman]

She moved toward him, sat beside him, facing him. "Sam...even if I never said it, it wouldn't stop it from being true...believe me, I tried..." She was starting to cry again. "I tried not to..."

[likely_evil]

"You can't throw away your life because of me. I won't let you." He was shaking, trying not to break down again.

[manorsuperman]

She put a hand on his arm. "I'm not, not the way I see it. Throwing my life away would be changing the way I live just because I'm threatened. I don't do that. Life is too short as it is." A sniff. "Besides...no one can hurt me any more than what's already been done to me..."

[likely_evil]

"They can and they will," Sam said, lifting his head to look her in the eyes. "I've watched it happen in front of my eyes, and I can't go through that again..."

He closed his eyes. "Take it back, Lana, please..."