likely_evil | Letters: Faith

Entry tags:

Letters: Faith

Among other possessions that Sam had left behind, there were a few envelopes with names written in Sam's handwriting. Dean. Bobby. Faith. There is an address on Faith's, and he did it on purpose. He needed to give his brother the option on how he was going to handle this one...

Faith,

Let me prelude this by asking you not to kill my brother. We all make our choices in life, and this one was mine to make. All wars have casualties, and I knew a long time ago that with this one, it was going to be my head on the chopping block. He's got enough going on with this that a concussion isn't going to help any.

So yeah. If you're reading this... it worked. Of course, I'm not going to be able to tell you this in person, but I wanted to let you know that I did it. We figured out how to get Lucifer back into Hell and save the world. But the only way to do it was for me to say yes so I could jump into the pit and take him with me.

I just... I wanted to make sure you knew what really happened. And I wanted to say thank you for being there for me. I wouldn't have had the strength to get here if it wasn't for you these last few weeks. If you hadn't been here, I would have lost it long before when Dean left.

You mean the world to me, Faith. I know I never said it. I don't think it was something that I could have said. ~~or you would have wanted to hear~~. But you understood that side of me I hated and made me realize in the end that it was a part of who I was, and that I could be myself and not let the fear of it control me.

~~I'm not afraid anymore.~~ Ok, yeah, that's bullshit. I am afraid. But I'm at peace with this choice, because I know when this is done, and I am going to succeed in this... that my sacrifice will let everyone I care about continue to live on for me.

Faith... you're more to me than a body to hold. You mean more to me than that. You are more than that, and I hope one day that you'll see that. There's a lot more to you than you give yourself credit for, and now that the world isn't about to end, I hope you get all the time in the world to finally see it. ~~I wish I could be there to see it~~

I wish it could be different, but this is just the way it has to be. And I'm sorry if you think this is a shitty way to end it, but the alternative would be much worse.

~~I think I was starting to...~~ Thank you, though, for being there for me.

- Sam

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He shook his head. "I can't let you do that."

"Yeah? And how you gonna stop me?"

"It's Sam versus the whole world, Faith," Dean replied with a snap. "You're a Slayer. You really want to run the risk of killing all those innocent people just to get him back?"

"No, but I'm at least willin' to try. I'm not just gonna roll over like a little bitch without lookin' into the options." Her arms crossed over her chest and she sneered at him.

"Guess that's the difference between the two of us."

"This is what he wanted, Faith. Just -- " He huffed slightly, before extending his arm again. " -- take the damn letter already."

Faith took the letter in one hand and in the same movement sent a left hook toward Dean's jaw, unable to hold back anymore.

"Oops. My bad."

Dean took the punch, letting the pain radiate through him a bit, before looking up at her with a cold glare. "Thank you." And with that, he started swinging back, aiming right for the face without caring.

She let the first punch land, then the second. By the third she knew he was in this as much as she was. He didn't have the same size that Sam did but she wasn't concerned about pulling her punches, she just wanted something to hurt. Ducking the next hit that came her way, Faith surged up with a punch to Dean's gut.

He took the hit to the gut, stumbling backward to catch his breath a bit, before charging back in again, looking to use whatever force he had to take her to the ground. He dropped his shoulder so that he was catching her around the middle, aiming to slam her back against the wall and daze her enough so that he could get another hit in.

Her head met brick and she let out a grunt with the force but she'd dealt with a lot worse. Dean was only human, vessel or no vessel, and she tussled with demons on the regular. Faith slammed the heel of her boot into the top of his foot, avoiding the toes in case they were protected by steel, and brought her head down to butt against his.

Dean groaned at the combined assault, stumbling backward, and shaking his head a bit, trying to get it to clear. He wasn't thinking clearly. He was just swinging in order to cause something else pain, to prevent the pain being caused to him -- or maybe he was just looking for a fight so that the physical pain would drown out the emotional one.

Either way, he hurt, and he wanted to make sure she hurt just as much. He ignored the stunned feeling, pushing closer and trying to see if he could land another hit again, even though he was flying blind.

This wasn't about skill so much as pure physical violence. Every hit she got in, and every hit he managed to return served as a release. The pain felt good because at least this was familiar. This was something she could deal with.

When he caught her in the ribs she was sure at least one was cracked. It took her a second to get air back into her lungs. A scream of frustration followed as her fingers found purchase in his shirt to introduce him to the side of the building.

Stars exploded in front of his eyes as his head hit the building and after that he knew he was fucked. At this point he was just shoving at her to get her off him, managing to get enough momentum that he was pushing her back into the hood of the Impala, adding another crack to the already numerous ones in the windshield, and it was that sound that snapped him out of it enough to realize what he was doing.

Faith wasn't the person he wanted to be taking this out on. Faith wasn't the person he should be taking this out on.

His legs gave out and he sunk down to the sidewalk in front of the motel room, every inch of his body throbbing while one hand covered his face, trying to keep himself from cracking.

"Goddamnit, Sam."

Edited 2010-05-14 19:00 (UTC)

Blood trickled down the side of her face while he sat there on the ground.

"Get up." The words were panted out, fists clenching and unclenching reflexively. "Get up!"

Her voice broke, desperation creeping through the words. "This isn't over, don't you dare quit on me." And she's not sure if she's still talking to Dean or the ghost of Sam between them.

Edited 2010-05-14 19:07 (UTC)

Dean would have loved to have gotten up and continued to go two rounds with her, but he didn't have the fight in him anymore. Pounding away at her wasn't going to bring his brother back, wasn't going to change anything and he knew it. He knew it when he started, but then he was pissed off and it was a direction. Now everything had drained out of him and he just wanted to drink. A lot.

"I can't."

She ran a hand through her hair and turned away from him. "Why'd you come?"

Faith had seen the address on the envelope. It would have taken a stamp and nothing else, but Dean had shown up at her door.

"Because I felt you deserved to hear this face to face," he sighed softly, pushing himself to his feet and wiping at his face a bit. "And I wanted to tell you that I'm getting out."

He sighed shifting to lean back against the wall. "That was the other part of the promise. I get out, live a normal life. I've got a girl in Indiana who doesn't think I'm too much of a moron, so I'm gonna head out there -- and you got the number if you need it, but as for being an active hunter -- I'm not."

He swallowed again, before running a hand over his face. "But I'm serious, Faith -- if you need someone to watch your back, call. Sam obviously cared enough about you to write you a friggin' letter, so I figured another thing I could do is make sure you don't get yourself killed."

She would have laughed if she had the energy for it.

"House, family, normal life... You really think that's gonna work out?" She'd tried to get out once. Had gotten a pretty decent offer from Giles. It sure as hell hadn't worked for her because here she was now, in the game as much as ever.

"Yeah. I got a letter." Whatever smart ass retort that might have been about to follow lodged in her throat and she had to swallow. Whatever it was that had been going on with her and Sam was... what the hell was it? And had whatever it was been enough to warrant a Dear John letter? Nothing made sense.

"Don't know, but she's probably the only person in the world who's actually asked me to stay, so I figured I owe it to her to try," he sighed, shrugging a bit. "I'm sick of it anyway. I think I've earned a fucking vacation."

He looked over at her. "You did a lot for him. Enough that I could see it, and I've been pretty piss poor at paying attention lately."

"Tried that once. Didn't work out so well. Good luck if you're serious about it." The words were only minimally laced with sarcasm. Her anger at everything wasn't actually directed at Dean, it was just force of habit.

"We fucked. Not really a big deal." Hell, she'd snuck out while he was in the shower. There hadn't been any discussions about it, there hadn't been any heavy declarations, it just was. She hadn't expected more than that.

Dean snorted. "Getting Sam to take off his pants is like trying to get under a nun's habit. Might not have meant a whole lot to you, but it did to him."

"He was in a bad place. Guys are known for makin' all kinds of bad decisions when they're fucked up, and like you said, not like you were payin' a whole lot of attention lately. Things change."

The irrational urge to defend herself, to set him straight, isn't something she expected. Sam wasn't like the guys she usually picked up to warm her bed for an hour or two. He was in a category of his own. None of that really mattered anymore though and trying to explain it would mean confronting a truth she was bound and determined to bury as deep as she could.

She cared. It meant something. It meant something when nothing and no one else had in a long time... She should have seen it coming a mile away and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

"Yeah. Whatever you say."

Dean sighed heavily, before walking around her and heading to the door of his car. "See you around, Faith."

She thought about the letter when he moved for the door.

"Dean, wait. I-- I suck at this. The whole people thing. Never been good at it. Don't figure it's about to start now but don't think I can handle drinkin' alone. I got a bottle of Jack. You interested?"

Dean glanced back at her, hesitating for a moment, before nodding. "Sure. I could use a drink."

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject