Bad Day on Black Rock - RP for ironknifehunter

[likely_evil]

It started when, as Cas was getting ready to leave for work, he told Sam that Dean was getting released from the hospital that afternoon. There was a question on that, a look at Sam lowered his head from and ignored.

When are you going to go back and see him, Sam?

He could hear their voices in his head as he worked on the house that day. Jo, Cas, even Pam wanting to know when Sam was going to see his brother. Ever since Dean had woken up, Sam avoided the hospital like the plague. All because he was afraid to face him.

The voices started to get to him, and Sam found his way into the medicine cabinet to get something to get rid of his headache. As the hours went, the pain didn't stop and Sam went back to find something stronger.

That evening, then would find Sam stoned off the pills from an old bottle of codeine, passed out on the bathroom floor because it was cool and felt good on his face. But the voices were gone, and his head wasn't hurting anymore. That was all that mattered to him.

Comments

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"Look at me." She grabbed his face in her hands and made him look at her again. "I've been exactly where you and Dean are. I went through all of it. I've seen what it did to my mom, what it did to me. Neither of you is to blame."

[likely_evil]

"Jo... it wasn't Dad's death I couldn't handle.. it was Dean. I... I started it all to escape from knowing Dean had killed Dad."

His eyes were filled with tears again.

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"And now you know Dean didn't do it."

Jo brushed her thumb underneath his eyes gently.

[likely_evil]

"I lost so many years with him then..." His fingers clenched the blankets. "I fucked up so badly..."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"And now you've got a lot of years to make up for it."

[likely_evil]

"After all this... he won't want me anymore..."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"You don't know that. Give him a chance."

[likely_evil]

"He hasn't asked to see me since he woke up. I think that's enough."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"Well, you haven't gone to see him either, so you're both to blame."

[likely_evil]

Sam looked away at that, because it was the truth. "I'm afraid to."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"I could go with you." She figured it might be the only way to get Sam to go.

[likely_evil]

"I'd like that."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"When do you want to go?"

[likely_evil]

Sam thought for a moment. "After I come off this and get a bit more stable again?"

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

Jo brushed her fingers through his hair. "Sure."

[likely_evil]

He looked up at her. "Why are you being so good to me? After what I just did?"

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Because everyone makes mistakes."

[likely_evil]

"What if this turns out to be one for you?"

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"My mom'll lecture me." She shrugged. "I don't think it is. I don't think it will be."

[likely_evil]

Sam reached up to touch her cheek with a shaky hand. "I don't want it to be."

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

She leaned into his hand. "You won't be."

[likely_evil]

He watched her a moment, licking his lips before pulling his hand away and curling up in her lap and reaching for the water bottle.

No, he couldn't give her that... not like this. He shouldn't at all because her mother would kill him, and not to mention his own downfalls. He couldn't drag Jo into that.

"Are we going to watch your soap opera again?" he asked, changing the subject rather abruptly.

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

"Hey, don't bad mouth my shows." Jo was a little bummed that he had moved his hand, but she hid her disappointment.

They'd get back to that issue later. When he was feeling better about not coming down.

[likely_evil]

"The writing is horrible," he pointed out, getting a drink with shaking hands, and then curling back up on her lap.

[ironknifehunter.livejournal.com]

She rolled her eyes. "Duh, that's the point."