likely_evil | justprompts: Can't have my happy ending...

ooc: next in the storyline after this.

"Two years, Ruby."

"Sam, I didn't promise you an overnight fix."

"Two. Fucken. Years."

Ruby rolled her eyes and ate another fry while she watched Sam flipping through the rough journal he always carried. It was something he had started to write in about the last time they had seen Dean Winchester - a fact that Sam was going back and checking by reading his old entries.

"And think of how far you've come in those two years, Sam. You've moved in leaps and bounds because you haven't had anything to hold you back. We're so close..."

"We've been close for over a year now, Ruby." Sam rolled his eyes up to look at her through his bangs. Time had taken it's toll on the younger Winchester, as well as his powers. His face was harder with deep shadows under his eyes. His hair was long and shaggy, long overdue for a trim. His jaw was set in a permanent frown, the smirk and fun in his personality hidden with the soft reservedness that Sam had shown for most of his life.

Three years away from his brother now, and Sam didn't even remember the good times. Or he did, but trying to remember hurt deep in spots he couldn't afford to let it hurt. It was for the best, Sam. You're doing this for Dean... Mom... Jess. You need to finish the game, Sam.

"It's not like I can summon Lilith out into the open." Ruby looked at him. "These things take time."

"Time." Sam sat back in his seat, watching her a moment. Then he just grit his jaw and grabbed the book, shoving it into this bag. "Screw time," he muttered.

"Sam, what are you doing?"

"I don't know why I bother. What has this done for me? Nothing, that's what I get." He muttered under his breath, then stood up and got out of the booth.

"Sam!" Ruby was up instantly. "You can't just walk away now!"

"Watch me."

She moved fast, spinning him around and pushing him against the video game machine. "No. You made a choice, Sam, and you don't get to walk away from this just because it's not going the way you had expected. You may not see it now but I do. You're making a difference, and we're getting there. We're just not there yet."

"You don't get it, do you?" Sam didn't flinch, but just glared down at her. "I threw away EVERYTHING for this: my life, my brother, and what have I gotten from it? Just a bunch of "soon"'s and "getting close"'s. I'm DONE with it, Ruby. I want to go..."

Ruby crossed her arms as Sam faltered for a word that really didn't exist for him. "Where Sam? Home? You don't have one, remember? Azreal burned it down along with anything that resembled a normal life. I'm trying to give you a chance to get revenge on all of that..."

"I'm tired of just going after revenge, Ruby. It's taken too much from me. I just... I want to see my brother again."

"And what makes you think he won't kill you on sight, Sam? It's been years now. The angels have made him their bitch, and who knows what he'll do if he sees you again."

Sam pushed Ruby aside and started for the door. "If Dean kills me, then at least I won't have to deal with this anymore."

"Sam, you can't walk out now! Lilith will win if you do this!"

"Let her!" He shouted, opening the door but turning around to look at Ruby. "I'm done, Ruby. I quit. I'm tired of this bullshit and I'm tired of you. Find someone else."

He spun angrily, slamming the door behind him... and then stopped as he found himself face to face with a pair of matching hazel eyes.

"... Dean?"

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"Half hour, maybe," Dean shrugged, chewing on his sandwich. "Was gonna let you sleep -- it looked like you could use it."

"I don't think there's a way I could catch up no matter how long I slept." He stretched a bit. "I'm sorry I didn't give you much of a choice back there... I just needed to get away."

Dean shrugged again, focusing on his food. "You're still my brother, Sam. I'm not gonna leave you on the side of the road."

"Thanks." Sam tried to ignore the rumbling in his stomach. He hadn't eaten in the diner since he was pissed, and he couldn't really remember the last time he had eaten something of real substance.

"I haven't seen you in a while... how have things been?"

"Same as the last time we saw each other. Angels've got their heads up their asses, yet still expect me to save the world."

"Good to see nothing's changed," Sam chuckled a bit, then sobered as he remembered the last time the two of them actually talked. "Listen, that night..."

Dean held up his hand and shook his head. He didn't know how long Sam was going to be with him, but he definitely didn't want to fight during it. "It doesn't matter. It happened, it's over."

"Yeah, I guess." Sam looked at his hands. "I just... I don't know what I'm doing now, Dean. Feel like I'm floundering and you were there so I grabbed onto you."

Dean was quiet for a long time, before responding again. "So what're you saying, Sam?"

"I just... I don't know, Dean. It's been three years. I thought this would have been over by now. Finished and I could have come back to find a way to fix us. But it's not over yet and I don't know when and I'm just tired of it all."

"We're all tired, Sam," Dean replied, looking back at his brother. "But it's not over. It's not going to be over until we find a way to stop Lilith, and until we do -- it's just gonna be more of this."

"Sounds like no matter how much I want to quit, fate isn't going to let me then."

"Probably not," Dean sighed, seeming even more unhappy than Sam did. "We're gonna be at this till we're dead."

"Dean... last three years I've wanted nothing more than just to be with you again. I missed you."

"I've missed you too, Sammy. And I want that too." But there was a 'but,' and Dean doesn't feel like leaving him hanging. "But if you're just gonna leave me again -- "

Sam nodded. "I can't promise you anything, Dean. I've basically been threatened with death from your side. I doubt they'd even let me back with what I've become."

"Yeah, well, I'm not even sure I can trust most of them these days." Dean slumped back against the door softly, running a hand over his face. "Some days I wish they'd never brought me back. At least what side I'm on would make sense."

"Some days I wish I had never been born so I wouldn't be this walking half-demon on earth, expected to stop the apocalypse by controlling a demon army."

Dean closed his eyes, just trying to let himself relax. But he couldn't. "Don't say that."

"You're allowed to wish you were dead, I can wish I never existed." It was a teasing tone with a very depressing topic. "Fair's fair."

"Yeah, but I died so your sorry ass could exist, therefore I'm allowed to say whether or not you're allowed to say that you wish you'd never existed."

Sam laughed at that one. "Fine. There's no point arguing if you're determined to win."

He stole a look up at his brother, glad for this moment of normalcy.

"Exactly. Besides, you should know by now that I'm always right." It was a joke, mostly.

He looked over at Sam when he did, but could only hold his brother's gaze for a moment, before her eyes dropped down to the food in front of him again. Don't get attached, Dean, you don't know how long he's staying.

Sam licked his lips, knowing what Dean was doing. And Sam really couldn't blame him after walking out the way he had.

"There's no way to fix this between us, is there?" he asked after a moment, looking out the window.

"I wouldn't say that," Dean replied softly. "But it can only work if you stay, Sam. For good. I'm not gonna waste energy that I could be spending elsewhere trying to fix things with you if you're just gonna up and leave me again the next time Ruby comes around and bats her eyes."