likely_evil | justprompts: Can't have my happy ending...

ooc: next in the storyline after this.

"Two years, Ruby."

"Sam, I didn't promise you an overnight fix."

"Two. Fucken. Years."

Ruby rolled her eyes and ate another fry while she watched Sam flipping through the rough journal he always carried. It was something he had started to write in about the last time they had seen Dean Winchester - a fact that Sam was going back and checking by reading his old entries.

"And think of how far you've come in those two years, Sam. You've moved in leaps and bounds because you haven't had anything to hold you back. We're so close..."

"We've been close for over a year now, Ruby." Sam rolled his eyes up to look at her through his bangs. Time had taken it's toll on the younger Winchester, as well as his powers. His face was harder with deep shadows under his eyes. His hair was long and shaggy, long overdue for a trim. His jaw was set in a permanent frown, the smirk and fun in his personality hidden with the soft reservedness that Sam had shown for most of his life.

Three years away from his brother now, and Sam didn't even remember the good times. Or he did, but trying to remember hurt deep in spots he couldn't afford to let it hurt. It was for the best, Sam. You're doing this for Dean... Mom... Jess. You need to finish the game, Sam.

"It's not like I can summon Lilith out into the open." Ruby looked at him. "These things take time."

"Time." Sam sat back in his seat, watching her a moment. Then he just grit his jaw and grabbed the book, shoving it into this bag. "Screw time," he muttered.

"Sam, what are you doing?"

"I don't know why I bother. What has this done for me? Nothing, that's what I get." He muttered under his breath, then stood up and got out of the booth.

"Sam!" Ruby was up instantly. "You can't just walk away now!"

"Watch me."

She moved fast, spinning him around and pushing him against the video game machine. "No. You made a choice, Sam, and you don't get to walk away from this just because it's not going the way you had expected. You may not see it now but I do. You're making a difference, and we're getting there. We're just not there yet."

"You don't get it, do you?" Sam didn't flinch, but just glared down at her. "I threw away EVERYTHING for this: my life, my brother, and what have I gotten from it? Just a bunch of "soon"'s and "getting close"'s. I'm DONE with it, Ruby. I want to go..."

Ruby crossed her arms as Sam faltered for a word that really didn't exist for him. "Where Sam? Home? You don't have one, remember? Azreal burned it down along with anything that resembled a normal life. I'm trying to give you a chance to get revenge on all of that..."

"I'm tired of just going after revenge, Ruby. It's taken too much from me. I just... I want to see my brother again."

"And what makes you think he won't kill you on sight, Sam? It's been years now. The angels have made him their bitch, and who knows what he'll do if he sees you again."

Sam pushed Ruby aside and started for the door. "If Dean kills me, then at least I won't have to deal with this anymore."

"Sam, you can't walk out now! Lilith will win if you do this!"

"Let her!" He shouted, opening the door but turning around to look at Ruby. "I'm done, Ruby. I quit. I'm tired of this bullshit and I'm tired of you. Find someone else."

He spun angrily, slamming the door behind him... and then stopped as he found himself face to face with a pair of matching hazel eyes.

"... Dean?"

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Sam licked his lips, knowing what Dean was doing. And Sam really couldn't blame him after walking out the way he had.

"There's no way to fix this between us, is there?" he asked after a moment, looking out the window.

"I wouldn't say that," Dean replied softly. "But it can only work if you stay, Sam. For good. I'm not gonna waste energy that I could be spending elsewhere trying to fix things with you if you're just gonna up and leave me again the next time Ruby comes around and bats her eyes."

Sam sighed. "I can't promise that. And it's not because of Ruby..." he was quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

"Dean... the angels don't want me the way I am, and they've made it pretty clear. If you're working with them, I... I can't go back. And I know you can't leave them, and I won't ask you too. You... we owe them a lot for saving you. And you're doing a lot of good with them."

"I just... I want my brother back. Even if we can't be in the same place in the end, I don't want you to think I don't want anything to do with you. I want to be able to talk to you on the phone, or find ways to have our paths cross so we can just catch up."

Dean's eyes wandered out to the highway again, trying to figure out what it was that he wanted to say. Because just seeing Sam on weekends wasn't going to be enough. He wanted Sam having his back, especially considering he couldn't trust any of the angels, with the exception of Castiel. He still hadn't sorted out whether or not he could trust Gabriel yet, especially with what he was saying.

"I -- I can't do that, Sam," Dean said slowly, and it obviously pained him to do it. "I'm sorry, but -- right now, I can't do things halfway. I either need you here all the way or not at all."

"Oh."

Sam didn't know that Dean didn't trust the angels. Maybe if he knew, he might see it differently. He's know that Dean wanted him back for those reasons. Maybe then Sam would be willing to walk into the lion's den.

He rubbed at his eyes, not realizing how much this actually hurt. To come back, open himself up, and still find that door slammed shut in front of him.

"I guess... I'll go then, since I can't offer anything with those terms." His hand went for the door.

And Dean couldn't even tell him about it. All these things that he had to do, and while he was hoping that Sam would say screw it and come back with him anyway, he knew that with what Sam knew, he wouldn't. All he could do was just let him go, again, and this hurt more than he had the first time.

"I'm sorry, Sammy," Dean swallowed hard, looking over at him. "Really, I am." He paused for a moment, before he started to get a little desperate. "Look, I can drop you off somewhere, if you want? You don't have to leave now."

Sam shook his head. "Why lengthen the inevitable?" Sam stopped a moment, looking at his brother in pure pain, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I just... I just wanted to be your brother again. But I guess the demons took that from me too now."

Dean looked back at him, before his eyes dropped to the steering wheel again, letting his hands run over it for a moment. "I'm sorry. If things weren't the way they were -- "

"Forget it." Sam screwed up his face and opened the door, grabbing his bag and getting out.

Then he leaned in the doorway, staring at his brother. "Do me a favor. Tell Castiel his crossroad analogy sucks because you just proved that it's not true. Not everyone can be welcomed back with open arms."

He slammed the door and turned to walk down the road out of town, rubbing at his eyes to stop the tears from flowing.

Dean sat quietly in the car staring at the steering wheel in front of him until Gina got back. She paused for a minute, glancing around for any sign of Sam, before opening the door and sliding in next to him. "Leave you alone for five minutes, and Sam's already gone?"

Dean didn't look at her, and she frowned, starting to move closer, but jumping back when Dean's hand lashed out and slammed against the steering wheel. "Hey, Dean -- what happened?"

"I just want my brother back. I just want him here, with me, to have my back." His breathing was starting to get heavy, and when Gina moved closer, starting to slide her arms around his shoulders he didn't fight her. "I just want someone to have my back. That too much to ask?"

"No, sweetie," Gina sighed, letting him bury his head in her shoulder. She could feel her t-shirt getting wet, but she didn't push him away, just rubbed his back lightly. "No, it's not."

justprompts: Can't have my happy ending...

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