Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2010-05-15 10:38 pm
likely_evil) wrote2010-05-15 10:38 pm
Letters: Kat
Sam didn't want to think what his saying yes would do to his twin. But after seeing Michael take Adam instead of Dean, one of Sam's deepest fears was that Lucifer would get to his sister, and she would say yes to protect him.
He was glad Kat didn't have to see him say yes. Though the night before, he slipped into her truck - Dad's truck before - and put a letter for her in the glove box on top of her phone charger. She would find it eventually, and he hoped that it might give her a bit of peace...
Brat,
So this is it... you're finally going to get to ride shotgun after this. Alright, bad joke. But really, Kat, what can I write that you don't already know? You know I love you. You know you're the best sister I could have ever asked for. Hell, you know half of the things in my head just like I do yours.
I know you wanted to save me from this. And yes, I was the one who told Bobby to lock you in the panic room if you tried to slash Dean's tires. I just... I need to know you're not going to jump into that pit with me. I know you better than you think, and I know you would.
This is going to be hard. I can't imagine to know what it's going to be like to lose that bond we have. I know you went through it before after Jake but... this is different. It's going to be permanent this time and I don't know how to console you or Dean. I'm not going to lie - we all know I'm not going to a better place. At best, Lucifer and I are going to be sitting in a box playing chess for all of eternity. But knowing that doing this is going to save millions of people - including the two people I love more than anything or anyone else... it's worth it.
You know, you've always been the better half of us. Last few years have shown me you're not a little kid anymore than I am, and for all my shortcomings, you've really stepped up and taken care of both Dean and me. There are days I'm sure if you weren't here, we would have killed each other.
Do you remember the time we were six and Dad and Dean got into that fight and we ran out of Bobby's house and hid in the backseat of that convertible? We sat there counting the stars and curled up together like two little puppies, and when Dad found us we were fast asleep and he just put a blanket over us so we wouldn't get cold? I want you to do me a favor...
When you think about me in the years to come, don't think about the last few years. I've been a lot darker than I like to admit, and I miss those times where you and I were inseparable and did cute shit like that. I want you to think about me and remember those times, ok?
We've always been like peas and carrots. Two people that are completely different, and yet compliment each other so well. Yin and... no, I don't think I can ever think of that term again. But you know what I mean. And look at it this way - you feel like a part of you was ripped away. But remember that a part of me is always going to go on because of you. So now, you just get to live for both of us.
And of course now you need to watch out for Dean. You know he's totally helpless without us to keep him on the straight and narrow. Make sure he goes back to Lisa. He deserves a little bit of happy.
Notice I didn't make you promise me anything about moving on. Basically because I know you'll call bullshit and try to come find a way after me even if I did. But I really hope you would see I did this to give you the freedom to have the life you always deserved to, Kat. Go to college. Or start a music shop. Just... don't become a stripper because Dean will have a conniption. Or become a stripper to give Dean a conniption. Your choice, after all.
Just... know that I do love you, Kat, and where ever I go after this is done, I'm taking a small part of you along with me to hold onto when I'm scared and need my sister to just rest my head on her shoulder and get me through the night. A part of me that will always be eternally bitchy and blame my mood swings on a ripple effect from you once a month. A part of me that will still pull your hair when you steal my fries and a part of me that will always know that the love I feel is from a sister who never gave up on me.
I'm gonna miss you, brat. But you're the better half of this twin act. Time for you to shine. Now stop trying to destroy your liver and go have a little fun for me, ok?
I love you, and I always will.
- Sam
He was glad Kat didn't have to see him say yes. Though the night before, he slipped into her truck - Dad's truck before - and put a letter for her in the glove box on top of her phone charger. She would find it eventually, and he hoped that it might give her a bit of peace...
Brat,
So this is it... you're finally going to get to ride shotgun after this. Alright, bad joke. But really, Kat, what can I write that you don't already know? You know I love you. You know you're the best sister I could have ever asked for. Hell, you know half of the things in my head just like I do yours.
I know you wanted to save me from this. And yes, I was the one who told Bobby to lock you in the panic room if you tried to slash Dean's tires. I just... I need to know you're not going to jump into that pit with me. I know you better than you think, and I know you would.
This is going to be hard. I can't imagine to know what it's going to be like to lose that bond we have. I know you went through it before after Jake but... this is different. It's going to be permanent this time and I don't know how to console you or Dean. I'm not going to lie - we all know I'm not going to a better place. At best, Lucifer and I are going to be sitting in a box playing chess for all of eternity. But knowing that doing this is going to save millions of people - including the two people I love more than anything or anyone else... it's worth it.
You know, you've always been the better half of us. Last few years have shown me you're not a little kid anymore than I am, and for all my shortcomings, you've really stepped up and taken care of both Dean and me. There are days I'm sure if you weren't here, we would have killed each other.
Do you remember the time we were six and Dad and Dean got into that fight and we ran out of Bobby's house and hid in the backseat of that convertible? We sat there counting the stars and curled up together like two little puppies, and when Dad found us we were fast asleep and he just put a blanket over us so we wouldn't get cold? I want you to do me a favor...
When you think about me in the years to come, don't think about the last few years. I've been a lot darker than I like to admit, and I miss those times where you and I were inseparable and did cute shit like that. I want you to think about me and remember those times, ok?
We've always been like peas and carrots. Two people that are completely different, and yet compliment each other so well. Yin and... no, I don't think I can ever think of that term again. But you know what I mean. And look at it this way - you feel like a part of you was ripped away. But remember that a part of me is always going to go on because of you. So now, you just get to live for both of us.
And of course now you need to watch out for Dean. You know he's totally helpless without us to keep him on the straight and narrow. Make sure he goes back to Lisa. He deserves a little bit of happy.
Notice I didn't make you promise me anything about moving on. Basically because I know you'll call bullshit and try to come find a way after me even if I did. But I really hope you would see I did this to give you the freedom to have the life you always deserved to, Kat. Go to college. Or start a music shop. Just... don't become a stripper because Dean will have a conniption. Or become a stripper to give Dean a conniption. Your choice, after all.
Just... know that I do love you, Kat, and where ever I go after this is done, I'm taking a small part of you along with me to hold onto when I'm scared and need my sister to just rest my head on her shoulder and get me through the night. A part of me that will always be eternally bitchy and blame my mood swings on a ripple effect from you once a month. A part of me that will still pull your hair when you steal my fries and a part of me that will always know that the love I feel is from a sister who never gave up on me.
I'm gonna miss you, brat. But you're the better half of this twin act. Time for you to shine. Now stop trying to destroy your liver and go have a little fun for me, ok?
I love you, and I always will.
- Sam