Unhappy Anniversary - for Ruby

[likely_evil]

ooc: takes place in RiS verse. Anna = absit_omens, Dean = hasperkynipples, Ruby = ilove_atallman



Tomorrow, November 2nd. That's an anniversary for you right? It's the day Azazel killed your mother, and 22 years later your girlfriend too. Must be terrible to bear...

Uriel's words haunted him, and for the last two days Sam just kept to himself. His headache still had not faded, and combined with the fact that he hadn't slept well in the past 2 days was making him just feel miserable.

Sam had taken to riding in the backseat of the Impala, giving Anna the coveted shotgun place. When he wasn't trying to sleep, he was working on reading The Origins of Satan for some research. It gave him something to do. A way to be useful.

He and Dean had avoided talking about the whole "incident" at the mausoleum. But Sam knew that Dean was disappointed in him. That look was all he had needed. And they were back to the awkwardness. Again. And that was just one more thing to add to the top of his plate.

Uriel's threats of being smitten with one word? That was there too. With the headaches and the feeling that God really didn't even care about him beyond a tool to keep Dean in line...

His defenses were so weak that it was no surprise that any time he closed his eyes for some rest that he saw fire. His dream self smelt burning flesh. Eyes staring at him, accusing him because it was his fault.

Jess.

Mom.

When they pulled into the motel, Sam got his own room, letting Anna and Dean have some time together on their own. He just needed a bit of space himself, even if it was right next door.

He stayed up late, watching stupid movies on cable until he just fell asleep from pure exhustion.

They were in the hotel room in Indiana. Ruby was in his arms, asleep. He heard a noise and looked up, then gasped as a pair of yellow eyes stood in the shadowed corner. He made a move to get up, but a hand was thrown out, pinning him in place.

You thought you were done with me, Sam? Our work has only just begun. Maybe I should remind you just what kind of power I have?

Sam had felt Ruby shift, her knife in her hand when suddenly she was thrown against the wall. Her eyes opened wide as she looked at Azazel, then Sam. Sam tried to get up to help her, but he could only watch in horror as Azazel moved his arm to keep her pressed against the wall, and him frozen in the bed.

"SAM!" she screamed as she was now on the ceiling above him. "SAM HELP ME!"

Blood blossomed out of her stomach. The room started to get hotter. "Stop it!" Sam shouted at Azazel, but the yellow eyes just laughed at him. And then as Sam watched, the fire engulfed Ruby. Her blonde hair dancing in the wind like a banshee before it started to flame. She couldn't even scream now, frozen silent like Jess had.

But her eyes cried blood, dripping down onto his face that were wet with his own tears

Sam woke up breathing hard, his head screaming at him in pain as he tried to get the images out of his head. The television mocked him, some crappy comedy with a laugh track that scraped against the edges of his mind where he finally found the remote and threw it at the screen, busting it.

When would his past stop haunting him? What had he done to be tortured like this since he was a baby? And now he wasn't sure he could even turn to God for comfort, so instead he just curled up in a ball on the bed and tried to will the images and pain away.

Comments

[ilove_atallman]

"Listen to me, Sam," she said, her voice a bit firmer, and looking up to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to let that happen, and more importantly, neither will Dean. Trust me -- Azazel's not going to drag you down."

She didn't know why she was encouraging this, but it was the kind of thing Sam needed, rather than her encouraging him in the opposite direction. "Hold on to that faith, Sam. That's probably the one thing that can't hurt you -- not at this point."

[likely_evil]

He took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against hers. "I'm scared Ruby."

[ilove_atallman]

"I know," she sighed, letting him keep her as close as he needed. "I know. But we'll figure it out, okay? We just have to think it through."

[likely_evil]

"Thank you for being here. I know you're mad at me still..."

[ilove_atallman]

"Not mad -- well, I am mad, but not at you," she sighed softly, letting her hand rub his arm lightly. "Not directly. Just -- circumstances kind of suck right now."

[likely_evil]

"Tell me about it." He closed his eyes. "How did you know I needed someone tonight?"

[ilove_atallman]

"My job," she said with a smirk. "Said I was there to help, remember? That didn't just mean the psychic stuff."

[likely_evil]

He smiled a bit. "I've missed you."

[ilove_atallman]

"You better have." Which was Ruby speak for 'I missed you too'. Because Ruby wasn't one to get mushy. Even when it came to Sam.

[likely_evil]

He chuckled, missing their interactions. They had four months of being each other's constant companion, and he really had missed her.

"Can you stay tonight? With me?"

[ilove_atallman]

She frowned slightly at that, before looking over at the door. "If Dean finds out -- "

[likely_evil]

"If Dean knocks, we'll smuggle you out the window. As it is, he's busy tonight. I doubt he'll do a bunk check."

He just needed her tonight.

[ilove_atallman]

"Okay," Ruby nodded. "If that's what you want, I'll stay."

[likely_evil]

"That's what I want."

He rested his head against her shoulder now. "I'm so tired."

[ilove_atallman]

"C'mon," she sighed heavily, starting to stand up a little more, so that they could get comfortable. "Back to bed."

[likely_evil]

He slid back on the bed, straightening out the covers.

"Do I get a story too?" he said softly, trying to smile a bit.

[ilove_atallman]

She snorted slightly at that. "Don't push your luck."

[likely_evil]

He moved over to give her room to join him, a bit embarrassed because he was really looking for comfort and was not above asking for it.

Which was something Sam really hated doing, but tonight he was just biting the bullet and not caring with pride.

[ilove_atallman]

She paused for a minute, shedding her jacket and kicking off her boots. After that, she slid into bed next to him, curling up against his back and just staying close.

[likely_evil]

And Sam was just happy to curl up in her arms. Unlike Dean, Sam got more satisfaction in this time of sleeping together than sex.

Which he was hearing through the walls and tried not to roll his eyes.

[ilove_atallman]

Yeah, Ruby could hear them too. Dean was disgusting.

But she kept her mouth shut and just rested her chin on his shoulder, letting him relax.

[likely_evil]

He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, and slowly he felt himself drift off to sleep.

[ilove_atallman]

Ruby stayed with him for as long as he could, before slipping back out into the shadows again. She never could stay long, that was just the way things were.

But she was always close. That was what she did.