likely_evil | In which Sam calls an old friend...

After the Pastor left, and Sam got Cas comfortable on the other bed, Sam walked outside to get a soda. He just stared at the machine, then finally punch the button for the drink. Then he punched it again, and again and again until the machine had a large fist sized series of dents and Sam was using the bottle to ice his knuckles as he walked back to the room.

He was trapped there. Well, not really trapped, but Cas needed to rest and recover from whatever the whore had done to him. And Dean...

So this was what it felt like to be abandoned. Not just Dean telling him not to come back, or saying goodbye over a phone because it was better apart, or even Dean dying. This was deliberate, and now Sam understood what Dean had to feel every time he had walked out on him.

He tried to call Dean again, but of course he wasn't answering. But he needed someone to talk to. He had already called Bobby to tell him, and he and Cas would make their way there in the morning. There was nothing they could do right now, not without knowing where Dean was. Stupid Nokian symbols.

He rolled the ball over his contact list, then stopped when it highlighted the name FAITH. God, it had been months since they had talked, since the time she had been possessed and tried to kill him and Dean in fact.

Sighing, he hit send and wondered if she would even pick up. Right now he could just use a good, sober friend to talk to for awhile.

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She shifted so that she could look at him dead on, eyebrow raised. "It's shitty, and your brother's an idiot, but I don't think he's dumb enough to go through with it. He'll wise up."

So maybe she wasn't so sure about what she was saying, but she wasn't about to admit that. It wasn't what Sam needed to hear, not at the moment.

Sam met her eyes and he just suddenly felt so tired. "I don't think he will. I think he will say yes if it means he can save me and anyone else."

"Except from what you've been tellin' me, it doesn't work that way. You gotta say yes, too."

Sam took a deep breath. "If Dean said yes, what do I have left..."

"Don't start talkin' like that." She frowns because she doesn't like the direction this is going at all.

"You don't have to give me the speech, Faith. Talking that way makes Lucifer win. And for all my words, I'm not going to say yes. I've fought too hard for my life and I can't just throw it away. But without my brother..."

"... without your brother you still got an angel and a Slayer on your team."

"Cas is here for Dean, not me."

She quirked an eyebrow before leaning in to kiss him, long and slow. "Guess you'll have to settle for me then."

He kissed her back, then pulled his head away. "Yeah, and how long until you leave too?"

"Don't got anywhere else to be. Besides, couple of perks hangin' around here." She let her hand move over his chest playfully.

His eyes closed at her touch. "It doesn't make the pain go away though..." he said softly.

"Got some experience in that department. Hate t'tell ya that nothin' really does." Faith sighed and leaned back on her elbows.

"I thought I was better than where I was two years ago. But I'm not. it's only gotten worse..."

He rolled over onto his back and just stared at the ceiling. "I just want it to stop hurting."

It didn't take much for her to shift herself until she was straddling his hips, legs on either side of his thighs so that she could look down at him.

"Gotta fight through it. It's shitty, and it sucks, but the only person that's gonna be able to fix it is you. You can try and ignore it but it only comes back stronger. You lash out and try to hurt other people and you get guilt. It's somethin' you just move through."

He looked up at her and he couldn't deny how sexy she looked naked on top of him like that.

"I'm scared, Faith."

In a move that was foreign to her, Faith cupped his cheek, caressing it with her thumb.

"Think we all are. You're still not alone though."

He pressed her cheek back against her hand, feeling a bit stupid for acting so weak but he needed to get it out.

"Stay. Just a little bit longer?" he asked softly.

Staying wasn't what she did. Even this much was out of her normal comfort zone, but the look on his face...

Everything he'd done for her was still fresh in her mind, so she smiled instead of letting him down easy. "Gonna need a shower, but I don't see why not."

"Thanks."

His hands went to run up along her thighs. just keeping her close for a bit.

"There are worse things in the world." Faith gave a small grind of her hips against his just because she could. They were dangerously close to having a moment and something was required to keep that from happening.

"Glad to know I'm not on the worse things list then," Sam chuckled a bit, his hips moving back in response to hers.

"Weren't you going to take a shower?"

"Not my fault someone decided to get handsy when I'm easily distracted. They don't call me Ms. Attention Span for nothin'."

Sam thought for a moment. "I was just thinking if you were starting something, you might want to wait on that shower then..."

When she moved her hips this time, there was intent behind it. "Guess it'll just have to wait then."

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likely_evil - 2010-04-17 02:03 (UTC) - Expand