In Which Sam gets a few unwanted lessons in pack life...

[likely_evil]

ooc: co-written with lieu_murphy

There really wasn't a lot Sam could do as a wolf when he was stuck inside, he quickly realized. He wasn't allowed outside on his own, and the only reason he would was to go to the bathroom and that was not an experience he enjoyed the first time. He was getting used to it now - when you have to go, you have to go - but he much preferred the human way of doing that.

He had spent a good portion of the last few days in his room, trying to focus and get turned back. He looked out the window, though, and saw the full moon and lamented and decided that it wasn't going to happen until after the moon had finished it's cycle. At least not when he was still learning this. So he made his way downstairs slowly as to not fall down them again, and then went in front of the fireplace and laid down. At least it was warm here, and when the rest of the pack came home, they'd know he was still there, still stuck and bored.

Maybe someone would take pity on him. Like Heather. Heather really wanted to take care of him, and he didn't mind it at all. She was around his age, and there was just something about her sweet, free spirit that really made him want to know more about her. He could just sit with her for hours and talk and be happy. Of course right now the talking was limited to one sided, but he didn't care. And for some reason she really knew how to scratch his head to make him feel good.

But he knew he should keep a distance from her. He was going to be leaving back with his brother when he was ready to leave, and her place was here with the pack. In the end, she would only get hurt and he knew it. But he missed having someone there for him, and she genuinely wanted to spend time with him. As the days went by he let his guard slip more and more, knowing it was going to hurt, but there was still a long time before that was going to happen. And who knew, maybe something would change.

The pack was easy to hear when they started to come back. They were howling and barking to each other, the sounds of happiness and family. Anna was the first to charge through the door, small and dark brown like her mother but lacking the scars and with lighter coloring on her back and stomach. She bounded over to Sam, looking to play as all pups wanted to play with everyone all the time.

Butters was next, but he waited by the door for Heather. He was a bit chunky for a wolf and mostly gray with some darker coloring on his throat and legs as well as the tip of his tail. He didn't really acknowledge Sam's presence except to sort of sulk and glare.

When Anna came in, Sam was ready for her to pounce him. He had learned quickly how to be gentle with the pup in playing while he was still learning how own strength, so he pretended to let her tackle him and wiggled a bit to try and escape. He looked over at Butters a moment, not sure why he was glaring at him, but then he focused back on Anna and played with her gently.

Heather was almost right behind Butters. She was light brown, with light markings on the back of her limbs and on her chest. Her back and ears were darker, which was speckled through her coat. She greeted Butters by butting her head under his chin and then trotted over to where Sam and Anna were playing, watching them with her tail wagging a bit.

Morgan and Kirmani came in next, Morgan towering and bulky, black as black could be except for brown markings on his shoulders, back and tail. Kirmani was a mix of grays and blacks, smaller than Morgan but not by much. Both wolves shared a collection of scars. They shoved Butters out of the way before Morgan went upstairs and Kirmani went to the kitchen. Murphy came in last.

She came to supervise play with her pup, the same shade of dark brown, with many of the same lighter markings. She jumped up onto the couch and curled up to watch, but always ready to leap in if she thought Sam was being too rough.

Though Sam might be the one needing rescuing as he felt little teeth starting to get his ear and he whimpered, tilting his head to get the pup off his head. He then got up and tried to swipe at her tail playfully.

Anna bounced around Sam, nipping at his feet, his tail and anything else that was incredibly annoying for little teeth to get into until she tripped over herself and went sprawling into the couch, peering up at Murphy who reached a paw down and padded her on the nose, making the pup sneeze a bit and focus her attention on her mother.

Sam looked up at Murphy with an "I didn't do it" look when Anna tumbled, then once he knew she was ok, he walked over to Heather. He noticed that they were pretty similar in colors, which he found funny since the others were darker or shades or gray or black. He gave her a bright smile and sat down in front of her, still unsure of what to do beyond playing when in wolf form.

Murphy ignored Sam in favor of playing with her pup. Heather, on the other hand, bumped her head against Sam, affectionately rubbing his side and then his head.

He was a bit shocked at that, then returned the affection, turning his head a bit to run along her cheek. He could smell the fresh outdoors on her, the cold air and something that smelt almost like salt. No, let how the air smelt before it was just about to snow. Snow. He was excited at the idea of playing in the snow like this. No need to worry about getting cold.

Since he was bigger, Heather didn't feel the least bit guilty about half-lying on him with her chin resting between his shoulders. This was what the pack did, after all. Butters sulk behind an armchair, glaring at Sam but making no move to get involved. Yet.

Sam didn't know why Butters was sulking and so he moved away from Heather and went over to him. He nudged at Butters with his nose, something that he had seen all the other pack members do with each other. He truly wanted Butters to come over and join them and not sit by himself.

Butters flattened his ears back and curled up the edges of his lips in a warning. Murphy and Heather both ignored it. There was nothing to worry about when the omega was trying to be threatening.

However, Sam knew what that meant as a human who wanted to pet a dog that didn't want to be touched. He backed up quickly, tilting his head and giving Butters a confused look.

It was the first time anyone had ever backed away when Butters did that. Usually he was the one who had to back up and submit. He crawled forward slightly and growled a bit, wondering if possibly he had a chance to dominate someone, to get out of his omega position and gain power in the pack.

Sam took another step back, not knowing what was going on. He looked over at Murphy and Heather, unsure of what to do.

Heather whined a bit to get Murphy's attention away from Anna. The alpha noted Butter's attempt and growled a swift, angry warning. Immediately, Butters cowered back behind the arm chair and made himself as flat and as small as possible. Since the matter was now settled to Murphy, she went back to playing with pup.

Sam huffed a sigh, not liking it when he felt someone didn't like him and not knowing the reason why. He wished he could just ask Butters what the hell was up, but being stuck like this made it hard. So instead he just left him to his sulking and went back to Heather giving a soft wuff of thanks before going to curl up at the fireplace and looking up at her to join him.

Heather debated for a moment, wanting to reassure Sam and Butters, but Butters was busy sulking off to his room so she went to Sam and laid down next to him, leaning into his side.

He didn't mind her doing that at all and just moved his head to lay next to her, rubbing his cheek against hers. He felt his tail wagging lazily - another sensation that he was getting used to since the thing had a mind of it's own - and gave a small, pleased whimper before closing his eyes.

She settled in, making herself comfortable and getting warm by the fire and warmed by lying next to Sam.

---

The next morning, Sam noticed the snow falling outside and he felt like a puppy. He put his paws up at the window, looking out at it a moment, then went back to Heather and nudged her. His tail was wagging and he was grinning, then he ran for the back door and managed not to fall flat on his face in the tile as he skidded to a stop.

At the nudge, Heather started awake, looking around for a minute before she saw Sam at the door. She cocked her head to the side, somewhat confused. He was perfectly capable of opening the doors himself. She had seen him do it.

He woofed at her, smiling and getting into a play pose, wiggling his backside. He wanted to go out and play in the snow and he wanted her to play with him.

Oh, well, play, she could do that. She got up, stretched because she wasn't used to sleeping on the floor and then bounded over to the door. She jumped up, using a paw to pull down the door handle and then shoved it open. It took a bit of effort because of how much snow there was on the ground but she got it open enough to slip through and go running through the white, white snow.

Sam was right behind her, bounding in the snow playfully. It felt so different this way. His paws were cold, but otherwise it didn't bother him at all. It tickled his fur and he liked it. Grinning, he got on his back feet and tried to tackle Heather playfully into it.

Heather let him, flopping onto her side and pawing gently at his stomach to push him off.

He rolled off, laying in the snow and rolled on his back, enjoying the feel of it, plus knowing he was getting cleaned after a few days of being unable to do anything. He then got back to his feet and shook his fur, sending the snow flying.

She rolled onto her feet and once Sam was done shaking, she pushed him into a snow then leapt over him and went running away.

He shook his head again, then smiled and howled a bit, chasing after her. The thick snow made it a bit harder to run, and he was still a bit unsteady on the turns but he was a fast learner.

Heather was light and quick through the snow, easily moving through and bounding out of the way when Sam got close. Until she doubled back and pounced on him, rolling with him through the snow.

Sam rolled with her until they came to a stop, then he smiled up at her and pressed his head against hers.

She nuzzled her head against his with an affectionate chuff or two.

He rolled free and got up, using his head to help her as well before motioning to head back. He pressed against her, keeping each other warm.

She wasn't cold, but she knew it would take awhile for Sam to adjust to being a wolf. She was happy to go back inside and once she was she shifted back to human form. "Let me get some clothes and a shower, then I'll make us some breakfast, okay?"

He barked a "yes" response, going back over to the fire and sitting in front of it. He noticed that it was starting to go down and tried to grab a piece of wood with his teeth to toss it in while he waited.

"You'll break a tooth," Butters muttered as he came downstairs and took the log from Sam. "Let us who are capable of having thumbs take care of that. Do you even try to shift back anymore or do you just want to be a kept pet the rest of your life?"

Sam gave him a look, working his jaw a moment from the rough removing of the log. He got up and moved out of Butter's way so he could work the fire, jumping up onto a chair and laying down. He gave an annoyed growl, because yes he was trying and no, he didn't want to stay this way forever. He was also getting tired of Butter's treating him like this. He hadn't done a single thing to the guy and all he ever did was berate and growl at him.

Butters growled back, glaring at Sam over his shoulder while he fixed the fire. "You know, everything was fine before you came along. We were a good strong pack. I don't see what the point is in taking you in. You're just going to leave."

Sam barked at him, annoyed. He wasn't just going to leave. Sure, he was going back to his brother but he wasn't going to write them off. And did he really think he wasn't worth the help getting this under control?

Butters went quiet for a bit. He wasn't typically this dominant but Heather was supposed to be his friend, not Sam's. Sam had plenty of other people to play with. Murphy and Morgan and Anna, they all took care of him. He could leave Heather alone.

Sam didn't want to take Heather from being his friend. Hell, Sam wanted to be Butter's friend too, if he didn't keep pushing him away.

"I'm going to make breakfast," Butters said when he was done with the fire. "You should try doing something useful and at least hunt."

He made muttering noises at Butter's back about him not being useful. Oh, if only Butters knew what Sam knew how to hunt. Then he wouldn't be all high and mighty.

It happened quickly because if Butters thought about it, he wouldn't be able to do it. He shifted into his wolf form and leapt at Sam, snarling.

Sam didn't expect it and just managed to get his face out of the way of Butter's teeth as the chair toppled over. Sam pushed the heavier wolf off him and got to his feet, watching Butter's carefully. He growled, not appreciating the attack.

Butter growled back, ears flat to his head before he charge Sam again, trying to be scary and big and dominant. He wanted Sam out of the pack and since none of the higher wolves were going to do anything, it was up to him. If Sam wanted to stay, he was going to have to take orders from Butters, he would have to be the Omega.

Sam imitated him, putting his ears back to keep them safe and waited for Butters to charge him. He didn't want to fight, so he swiped his paw at Butters and jumped back to keep himself from getting pounced on again.

Butters leapt forward, snapping at Sam's neck, looking to get any sort of flesh between his teeth and make Sam submit to him. He was tired of always been step on, of being look at as a lesser wolf. Sam couldn't even switch forms. He should be the lesser wolf. He should be the pet.

Sam got up on his back paws, using his front ones to push Butter's away. There wasn't enough room in here to defend himself, and Sam knew it. He took off for the door, opening it and then standing in the doorway, growling. If Butters wanted to do this, fine. Sam would give him a fight. But not inside.

He was quick to chase after Sam, eager to get him out of the house and then run him out of their territory. He just wanted to get Sam gone.

Seeing Butter's giving chase, Sam jumped out into the snow and found his ground, then planted himself and howled loudly, changing into a growl. He was not about to get beaten up and if Butters didn't want to be friends, fine. But Sam was done being the nice guy here and if he had to smack him around to get that point across, he was damn ready to do it.

Butters noticed the change in Sam's demeanor but it was too late to stop now. He lunged at Sam, snarling and snapping, ready to do real damage to make his point.

Sam waited, growling, and when Butters was close he turned and kicked out with his back feet at Butter's chest, aiming to send him off back at the house. He then turned and charged the wolf, letting his instincts guide him on how to resolve this.

He wasn't used to fighting, so Sam's kick caught Butters in the chest and made him fall over. He snapped at Sam's feet, trying to catch his paws, but missed. He had to scramble to his feet but was quickly down again when Sam charged him.

Sam head butted him down, standing over him and snarling, showing his teeth as he kept his head just out of strike range. If Butters was smart, he would just stay down.

Butters was usually smart, but Sam wasn't like the other pack members. He kicked out at Sam and tried to scratch with his paws, though they weren't made for that.

Sam took the scratches, not relenting his position. He snarled and barked, snapping his teeth and brought a paw up to press into Butter's neck to hold his head down.

He growled and struggled, but there wasn't much he could do. Frustration made him keep going, keep trying.

"Cut it out!" Murphy barked from the back door. "Sam, get off him. Butters, give it up. You know where you stand."

Sam looked up at her, growling and lost in the moment. Then he looked back at Butters and pushed off him roughly, backing away carefully just in case Butters tried something. Almost wanting Butters to try something.

"Get over here," Murphy ordered and Butters crawled his way back to her. She glared hard at him until he rolled over and presented his belly. She pointed inside, "Make breakfast and don't think we're finished."

He belly crawled into the house before shifting back to human and obediently beginning to get thing ready to cook. Murphy looked at Sam and raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to teach you what pack structure is really like? You keep that growling up, kid."

Sam forced himself to stop growing. He and the wolf both knew that Murphy was in charge, but his adrenaline was high now and he needed to do something to burn it off. Run or something. He couldn't even sit down, nor did he care about the injuries Butter's scratching caused. He just wished he could communicate with her on that he needed something to do.

"Go, run it off. Just stay in the pack territory." It would be better if Sam disappeared while she lecture Butters anyway.

Sam barked, then turned and took off, just running hard and fast. He then stopped, seeing a rabbit in his path and crouched down low. He waited, stalking forward, then took off after the rabbit. It was a quick chase, and Sam was amazed at how fast he could be once he knew what he was doing. He grabbed the rabbit around the neck and held onto it... and then didn't know what he was supposed to do. He just shook his head, and then felt the rabbit go limp in his mouth. He dropped it, whimpering a bit and backing away, then nosed it to try and get the rabbit to run again. But it didn't and he laid down in the snow, watching it until he felt himself start to cry because he had just killed a rabbit that hadn't done a single thing to him.

Murphy went back inside and had a long talk with Butters, making sure her point was clear. He was still the Omega, as Sam's victory over him showed and he would act like it or else she was going to get involved and he didn't want that.

Everyone settled in at breakfast to eat, get ready for the day and wait for Sam to return.

Sam finally came back as breakfast was over, carrying the rabbit with him. He opened the door and came in, putting the rabbit at Murphy's feet and then making his way up to his room, not wanting to eat because he was upset at himself still and just wanted to try and get back to being human again.

Murphy picked up the rabbit and was actually impressed, but she knew Sam wasn't. She sighed and looked at Morgan. "You'll need to teach him how to hunt, make him okay with it."

Morgan frowned for a second and then nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"Heather, here, we'll have stew for dinner." Murphy handed the rabbit over to the girl and then went upstairs after Sam.

Sam was up on his bed, head on his pillow and looking out the window. He had tried to change back but he just couldn't get it and he was scared that he was losing his human side more and more. He wanted to go back to being human. He didn't want to be this way any longer and he wanted to stop feeling like he was a baby about it all. They didn't understand how frustrating this was. How he felt he was losing his own identity. He wanted to go home.

Murphy closed the door behind her and leaned back against it. "Sam, whatever you're trying to avoid by staying a wolf, you have to face it because you're going to face new challenges just as hard as a wolf as you would as a person. I don't know what it is, but you've got to face it just like you faced your fear of the wolf."

He didn't lift his head, just whimpered. He was trying. Every damn day and they acted like he didn't want to. He wanted to. It just wasn't happening.

"We can't do anything else to help you on this part," Murphy continued. "Either you fight for your humanity, or you'll lose it just like before."

He just turned his head away. She had given him this speech before and he wasn't in the mood to hear it. He felt bad enough as it was that he had given into the wolf and killed the rabbit, and the fear he might be trapped like this forever was not soothing.

"Oh, don't sulk," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "You're an adult, act like it. You've got a responsibility, face it, because it's pissing me off. All you've done is run into these challenges and get whipped by them. I am tired of it. If you're still a wolf tomorrow, you're going hunting with Morgan and you're not coming back until your properly comfortable with it. Either you deal with these more unpleasant aspects of being what you are or I'll make you."

He jumped up, looking at her in horror. He didn't want this part, and she was going to force it on him?

She raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm supposed to be gentle with you just because you weren't born like this, like I was? It doesn't work that way, Sam. I don't like killing, I don't think it's fun. It's survival. We have to hunt, we have to kill. We all learned how to do it and when we make that choice, we don't make it lightly. So, you're going to learn just like we did. You've already proven you're capable, so now we're going to make sure you do it right."

He sat down, lowering his head. He hadn't wanted to kill the rabbit. He hated how he felt afterward. He didn't want to do that again and he shook his head. He'd do something else bu he wouldn't do that again. He knew she was going to get mad but he refused to do it.

"I am not asking, Sam. I am telling you. You will hunt. Otherwise, you will be thrown out of the pack."

Sam just looked up at her, the tears wetting the fur around his eyes, then he closed them and shook his head again.

"Then leave. We do not carry people here. We help, but they have to help too and if you can't help as a human, you'll help as a wolf and you'll hunt."

His head still down, he jumped off the bed and went to get his things. He nosed his bag open, his tail between his legs as he tried to figure out how to pack his bag. Finally he just sat down, his head lowered further as he couldn't even do that on his own.

"This is how a pack works Sam. We can't get buy on our own. We need the help of those in the pack to get along." She watched him without any real pity. She'd been nice because he was having a hard time, but Butters had reminded her that the pack didn't operate like that all the time. There were things he needed to realize. "Even Anna, when she's old enough, will learn to hunt. She'll probably cry and it'll break my heart, but if she knows how to hunt, she'll know how to fight if someone comes after her. We do these things not because we want to but because we have to. That includes you. You want to help your brother when you get out of here? You need to know how to hunt."

Sam thought about Dean, and his brother had always taken care of him. They were taught to be hunters. First with animals, and the one time Sam had killed an animal as a human was his last after the fit he had. Dean always did that part of the hunt if the thing was alive. It was rare that Sam even aimed to kill. Sam's job was saving people. He didn't want to hurt anyone. It wasn't in his nature.

He barely felt the pain from changing back as he was torn up inside, and luckily his back was to Murphy since he was naked when he came back, kneeling on the floor. "I know how to hunt," he said, his voice raw from the change back. "But I won't kill. I can't."

Suddenly he realized he was cold and looked down at himself, seeing the human arms and body and he wiped at his eyes. His hair was longer and shaggier than before he turned, and he was dirty, but he was human again.

"I will do anything else, but I can't kill."

She'd have to remember the brother part worked on getting to Sam. "Then you'll cook. Oh, and Butters has a thing for Heather so if you're going to pursue her, you'll have to deal with him."

"Is that why he's mad at me?" Sam turned a bit to look at her. "She's the only one who's trying to actually be my friend. I'm not trying to pursue her like that."

"Yeah, that's why he's mad at you. Heather's his protector. She keeps Kirmani and Morgan and me off of him most of the time. You're getting that special treatment now. Butters is a bit worried."

"He never said anything. He's just been mad at me since right after I got here. I didn't want to cause any problems." He looked at his bag. "Maybe it would just be better if I left. That way your order is restored and I don't cause any more problems."

She rolled her eyes. "Are you always this dramatic about things? It's how things work in a pack, Sam. We get a new member, we work out where everyone fits and then we settle in again."

"I didn't want to hurt Butters. He attacked me. And everyone acted like I wasn't trying. I was. I wanted to get back so bad and I just couldn't and then Butters attacked me and I lost control and I could have hurt him. And instead I killed that rabbit."

"You're not going to hurt Butters. He's a tough guy, even if he is the Omega," she said, waving away his concern. "A rabbit's not a big deal, actually, we don't really bother to catch them because they're too much trouble. You must have gotten a sickly or injured one. Probably did it a favor."

"I don't do things like that, though." He reached to the bed and grabbed his blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders. "And I don't know if I should even apologize."

"You can, but it will only make things worse. Just leave it."

"If I cook, I don't have to hunt." He looked at her, needing to know they weren't going to ask him to kill unless he was forced to. "I'll watch Anna, help her with her schoolwork, cook... just not hunt."

"You'll learn to hunt as a wolf," she countered. "But you won't have to kill anything. Morgan will teach you how to track and what you need to know, but we won't make you kill."

He nodded, sighing in relief. "Thank you."

She waved a hand, "Don't thank me. I think you're being an idiot, but as long as you can cook to meet the demands of the pack, I won't force you."

"Ok." He wrinkled his nose. "I should probably take a shower before I'm allowed to cook. And I should check in with my brother."

"Go nuts, kid. We're downstairs and there's breakfast if you're hungry." She opened the door and left him to it.

Sam nodded, then grabbed his clothes and went and took a long shower. The warm water felt so good over his body, and he stayed in probably longer than he should have. Finally he got out and shaved and brushed his teeth, then dressed and made his way downstairs. He didn't wait for anyone to tell him to sit since they all were, just went and made a plate and then sat down, not having taken much food and just picking at it a bit. He was trying to reconcile everything in his head, and once again over-thinking. It still felt like two worlds to him.

No one really said anything, though Butters was sulking and Heather looked worried. They left Sam to his thoughts. Murphy had expected him to call his brother first, actually. She was surprised he was eating with them.

He had wanted to, but his stomach had overruled him and wanted something in it. Later he would take a walk and talk to his brother, trying to get himself grounded again. Finally when he had eaten about 2/3rds of his plate, he got up to toss the cold food away. As he was leaving, he put a hand on Butter's shoulder. He didn't say anything, just gave it a squeeze that he hoped the man took as a way of saying that they were cool, and maybe find a way to at least find some middle ground between them. "I'm going to take a walk and call my brother. I'll be back later."

Butters rolled his shoulders away from Sam's hand, still sulking. Murphy sighed. She had told Sam not to, but apparently he still didn't get it. Maybe he'd learn with time.

"Have fun, kid. We'll be around."