Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2009-06-08 10:10 pm
likely_evil) wrote2009-06-08 10:10 pm
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50prompts: Would You Know My Name.... if I saw you in Heaven...
ooc: takes place during the season 2 ender. Thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iluvroadrunner6 and gusthemoose for bits of research help.
C'mere, c'mere -- lemme look atcha. Hey, look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, alright? Sammy? SAM! Hey, we're gonna patch ya up, alright? You'll be good as new. I'm gonna take care of you. I gotcha. That's my job, right? Watch out for my pain in the ass little brother. Sam? Sam...
"Sam?"
His eyes drifted open, having fallen asleep when he felt his brother's arms around him and the soft, white light wrapping around the fuzz in his head, laying him to rest gently. He wasn't expecting the soft voice calling his name, and it took him a moment to adjust to the bright light before his eyes focused.
"There you are. Time to wake up, sleepyhead."
Sam blinked, then sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Then he just looked at the woman kneeling next to him. "... Jess?"
Her bright smile welcomed him as her hand come to rest against his cheek. "Yeah, it's me, Sam. It's really me."
"I don't understand. How..." he brows moved in in confusion, then he looked at her in fear. "Dean?"
"He's fine. Well, not fine, but he's alive. Other than that, I don't know." She stood up, holding her hand out to help Sam stand up.
"Alive... then I'm..."
Jess nodded, squeezing his hands as Sam stood up. "I'm sorry, Sam." She pulled him into a tight hug, holding him close. Sam was hesitant, and then he hugged her back gently at first, then tightly.
"Jess... I've missed you so much..."
"I know, baby. I've heard about the things you've done to try and catch the demon that killed me."
"I should have told you. About everything..."
"That's in the past now, Sam. Can't do anything to change that. You're at rest now, and with me again." She pulled back and smiled at him.
He bit his lip, looking around. They were in a grassy meadow, fields of flowers on either side of them, and mountains in the distance. "So this... this is heaven?"
"No. You haven't gotten to the gates yet." She took his arm in hers and started to lead her towards the hills. "I was sent to come and get you."
The grassy meadow was actually not as big as he had thought, and soon they were standing outside a set of pearly gates. Waiting in front of them was a beautiful sight, and Sam found his eyes drawn to the ball of pure light and fire standing there. It looked almost human, but not as the light and fire shifted to keep any features from forming. All Sam could make out was the beautiful pair of large, downy wings that were spread to block the entrance. Hello, Samuel Winchester.
Jess squeezed Sam's hand, then stepped off to the side as the light creature - Angel? - stepped closer to Sam. You know what I am a voice whispered in his head before Sam could even ask his question. I am called Castiel. I am here to judge you, as your demon blood will not allow Saint Peter to.
Sam closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he felt the angel's presence draw closer, then fill him with his grace. Images of Sam's past went before his eyes, flashes of moments of love and pain and suffering. As it flashed by, Sam realized that almost all the moments were filled with his brother, and he could feel tears slip from his eyes at the thought of Dean being alone on Earth without him.
Soon, then light started to pull back, and there was a moment of sadness at the loss. Sam fell to his knees in front of the angel, his head bowed. The angel hovered there, and then knelt down beside him, wings wrapping around the spirit. You are tired, Samuel. You have walked a path that has torn at you from all sides since the moment of your birth. But you have never fallen to the darkness inside, and your faith is strong. Ask for forgiveness and your sins will be forgiven, and you can enter to be with your family.
Not needing to ask what he needed to do, Sam slowly recited his prayers, feeling the wings of the angel caress his back as he did so, until there was a soft caress along his forehead. In that moment, he suddenly felt truely at peace - the weight of his life removed from his metaphysical shoulders. His hazel eyes opened up to see the form gone, but the gates open for him to step through.
And standing in the doorway was his mother, white robes flowing in a gentle breeze. Jess moved over to stand next to her, and Mary held out her hands for Sam to walk into, and then wrapped around him. "Welcome home, my little boy."
*~*
There was no such thing as time in Heaven. It could have been a day on earth, a year, or a lifetime that was passing... but Sam wouldn't have known it. The landscape shifted around them, appearing to each of them as how they wanted it to look. Right now, he was in a field of flowers, laying on his back and looking at the stars while Jess laid in his arms. His mother was just a few feet away, resting on another blanket while reading a book.
The days had been spent together as a family. People Sam had known had come to greet him, and he had met others in his family that he had never known. Pastor Jim and Sam sat for a long time, just talking about live and the paths they had walked. Calab was quiet, a few gentle words and a hug in acceptance before he disappeared in the mists. It was amazing how people just faded in and out of sight. All you had to do was think of someone and they would appear.
Sam thought he would get bored quickly at the lack of structure, but he didn't feel it. He just felt relaxed and lazy, something he hadn't felt... almost never. It was nice.
Of course, there was always the tugging of Dean in the back of his mind. He was worried about how his brother was surviving without him. But as the time went on, it slowly faded to his brother just being a happy memory to think about, and waiting for the day he would join him again. Contrary to popular belief, he didn't have the ability to watch over another mortal. That was a gift only the angels had, and Mom assured Sam that there was an angel who watched over Dean. Having met one and felt the peace from Castiel, Sam knew that Dean was safe.
Jess rolled over a bit, leaning up on Sam's chest to look down at him. Her fingers traced his cheek and he smiled. "I had almost forgotten how beautiful you are, Sam. I was afraid that you would not be able to enter."
"I told you not to doubt," Mary spoke from her spot. "My babies only do what they have to so they can help people. God forgives them for that."
"You remember Sam, when you used to tell me that you wanted to be a lawyer so that you could help the little people?" Jess plucked a flower and tried to put it in his hair. He laughed and tried to bat it away.
"Yes, I remember. You used to laugh at me and said I had a hero complex."
"Looks like I was right." She tried again and Sam grabbed her wrist, rolling them both over in the flowers until he was on top, looking down at her. He smiled and lowered his head, kissing her deeply. Fingers dropped the flowers as they wrapped around his neck and kept him close. He soon pulled away, his hair handing down around his face and then he settled down, resting his head on her chest as her fingers brushed through his hair. "My hero... and now I get to keep you all to myself."
"You won't find me complaining."
There was a shimmer of light, and Sam looked up to see a woman enter their patch of field. It took him a moment, and then he smiled, pushing himself up. "Madison?"
"Sam?" The brown eyes searched out his face, and then she was in his arms, holding him while having him hold her. She pulled back after a moment, her eyes sad. "I was thinking of you and I felt a tug and followed it. What happened?"
"It doesn't matter anymore," Sam said softly. Jess appeared by his side, and he kept one arm around Madison while another came to wrap around the blonde woman at his side. "Madison, this is Jessica."
"Pleased to meet you," the girls said at the same time, then smiled.
"Sam has talked about you," Madison said. "He was so much in love with you when I met him..."
"Was he now?" Jess gave a sly grin, then pulled away from Sam and took Madison's hand. "You have to catch me up then on just what kind of man my Sam became."
Sam rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. He was amazed that Jess hadn't even been jealous that there was another woman in Sam's life. Finally, Mary came over and rested her head on her son's shoulder.
"Jessica wanted you to be happy, just like I wished it for your father," Mary said. "Seeing Madison shows that you did that."
"I was worried she would think I forgot her." His arm slipped around his mother's waist.
"You moved on, Sam. She can't blame you for that. Just like you will meet other loved ones in her life when they come to pass." Mary took Sam's hand, leading him to her blanket. "Come spend time with your mother. I never got you much, so you will have to deal with me until your brother joins us."
"I don't mind the attention at all." He went to stretch out on the blanket, his head in his mother's lap as she told him stories about her life he had never known, all the while listening to Jess and Madison talk and laugh.
*~*
"I'm going to go visit some family," Jess said softly, kneeling down to kiss Sam's cheek. "It's been awhile and I'm sure they miss me."
"I'm not going anywhere," Sam smiled, then grabbed the back of her head, keeping her close so he could kiss her properly.
"I love you, Sam." Her hand ran along his face, pulling him close for another kiss. "No matter how long we're apart... I'm going to always love you."
She smiled, then stood up and walked until she disappeared into the mists. Sam watched her go, then laid back down to keep reading from the spot he had left off at. A few more minutes later, Sam closed the book he had been reading and sighed. "Looks like I have to go back to the library."
"You should slow down, Sam," Mary chided from her spot. A river had now made it's way into their glen, as well as a tree and Mary was on her blanket against it, dipping her toes into the water. "You're going to be reading through that place faster than the living can create them."
"What can I say, Mom? Twenty seven years of being a bookworm doesn't go away easily." He walked over and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back."
Mary grabbed Sam's hand quickly. "Sam... I'm so proud of you."
"I know you are, Mom." He looked down at her, confused at the strength that she held his hand with. "What's wrong?"
"Just listen, Sam. Our family is cursed... but you have the power to turn it into a gift. For justice. Dean can never know how strong you are..."
"You're scaring me, Mom..." Sam tried to pull his hand away, but Mary stood up, grabbing his arm.
"... and without you he's in over his head. One day you're going to have to go on without him, and you have what it takes. Just believe in yourself. Take care of your brother, and don't let anyone or anything get in your way."
"I don't understand what you're saying, Mom..."
Mary pulled Sam's head close to him and pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you, Sam."
"I love you too, Mom." He closed his eyes, holding his mother close. He didn't know what was freaking her out, but something was and they were in Heaven - she shouldn't even feel worried like this. "I'm only going to the library," he told her gently, trying to pull himself away.
"I'll be here when you get back," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. Sam nodded, then turned and started to walk, planning on envisioning the library.
And then she was gone and he was surrounded by shelves upon shelves of books. Sam took his time walking through the rows, his fingers running along the spines like a kind running a stick along a picket fence. Finally he wandered down an aisle and stopped, reaching for a book. "Paradise Lost. Wouldn't think they'd stock this here," he chuckled to himself, looking at the cover.
He heard a rush of feathers to his left and turned, the light of the angel next to him not hurting at all. He had seen a few angels now, mainly Castiel, but they each looked different. The balance of light and fire was always different. Tilting his head, Sam realized that this angel was more fire than light. "I haven't met you before. I'm..."
I know who you are, Samuel Winchester. I have come looking for you.
So have I.
Sam turned quickly and saw the dark cloud hovering on his other side. He dropped the book, taking a step back as the smell of sulfur overtook him. "No..." he said, looking at the angel. "No, this is wrong. I'm dead and in Heaven. How..."
Give your brother our regards, Sammy.
And then the world went black before he could even scream.
*~*
When Sam woke up, the first thing he realized was that he could barely see. Everything was so dark, and he thought perhaps it was the middle of the night but he could see the sun starting to shine through the window. And he was so cold and numb. Then there was pain in his body that he hadn't felt ever in his life, and he stood up to look at his back in the mirror.
There was a scar there, the injury healed but it was still painful to the touch. Before he could think about it, though, Dean walked in through the door. He looked at him, confused, and then he was pulled into a hug. But something wasn't right, and Sam could feel it in the back of his head.
He... he wasn't supposed to be here. He should... but not... "Dean... what happened to me?"
*~*
A field of flowers. Two blonde women were in the distance, and no matter how hard he tried to run to them, they just kept getting further and further away. And as it grew dark around them, all he could see was the glistening of the tears on their faces.
He jerked awake as Dean changed the radio dial around. "I swear, this state needs better radio stations. Tears in Heaven. Who listens to that crap?" Dean looked at Sam and smirked. "You doing ok over there, sleeping beauty?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure? Looks like you've seen a ghost or something."
Sam shook his head, then looked out the window at the passing landscape. Ever since he woke up, he felt like something was missing from his life now, and he wasn't sure what. Like he wasn't whole anymore... the peace he had always felt in life shattered and betrayed. But why would he feel that?
"It was just a dream, Dean. Just a dream."
Fin.
iluvroadrunner6 and gusthemoose for bits of research help.C'mere, c'mere -- lemme look atcha. Hey, look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, alright? Sammy? SAM! Hey, we're gonna patch ya up, alright? You'll be good as new. I'm gonna take care of you. I gotcha. That's my job, right? Watch out for my pain in the ass little brother. Sam? Sam...
"Sam?"
His eyes drifted open, having fallen asleep when he felt his brother's arms around him and the soft, white light wrapping around the fuzz in his head, laying him to rest gently. He wasn't expecting the soft voice calling his name, and it took him a moment to adjust to the bright light before his eyes focused.
"There you are. Time to wake up, sleepyhead."
Sam blinked, then sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Then he just looked at the woman kneeling next to him. "... Jess?"
Her bright smile welcomed him as her hand come to rest against his cheek. "Yeah, it's me, Sam. It's really me."
"I don't understand. How..." he brows moved in in confusion, then he looked at her in fear. "Dean?"
"He's fine. Well, not fine, but he's alive. Other than that, I don't know." She stood up, holding her hand out to help Sam stand up.
"Alive... then I'm..."
Jess nodded, squeezing his hands as Sam stood up. "I'm sorry, Sam." She pulled him into a tight hug, holding him close. Sam was hesitant, and then he hugged her back gently at first, then tightly.
"Jess... I've missed you so much..."
"I know, baby. I've heard about the things you've done to try and catch the demon that killed me."
"I should have told you. About everything..."
"That's in the past now, Sam. Can't do anything to change that. You're at rest now, and with me again." She pulled back and smiled at him.
He bit his lip, looking around. They were in a grassy meadow, fields of flowers on either side of them, and mountains in the distance. "So this... this is heaven?"
"No. You haven't gotten to the gates yet." She took his arm in hers and started to lead her towards the hills. "I was sent to come and get you."
The grassy meadow was actually not as big as he had thought, and soon they were standing outside a set of pearly gates. Waiting in front of them was a beautiful sight, and Sam found his eyes drawn to the ball of pure light and fire standing there. It looked almost human, but not as the light and fire shifted to keep any features from forming. All Sam could make out was the beautiful pair of large, downy wings that were spread to block the entrance. Hello, Samuel Winchester.
Jess squeezed Sam's hand, then stepped off to the side as the light creature - Angel? - stepped closer to Sam. You know what I am a voice whispered in his head before Sam could even ask his question. I am called Castiel. I am here to judge you, as your demon blood will not allow Saint Peter to.
Sam closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he felt the angel's presence draw closer, then fill him with his grace. Images of Sam's past went before his eyes, flashes of moments of love and pain and suffering. As it flashed by, Sam realized that almost all the moments were filled with his brother, and he could feel tears slip from his eyes at the thought of Dean being alone on Earth without him.
Soon, then light started to pull back, and there was a moment of sadness at the loss. Sam fell to his knees in front of the angel, his head bowed. The angel hovered there, and then knelt down beside him, wings wrapping around the spirit. You are tired, Samuel. You have walked a path that has torn at you from all sides since the moment of your birth. But you have never fallen to the darkness inside, and your faith is strong. Ask for forgiveness and your sins will be forgiven, and you can enter to be with your family.
Not needing to ask what he needed to do, Sam slowly recited his prayers, feeling the wings of the angel caress his back as he did so, until there was a soft caress along his forehead. In that moment, he suddenly felt truely at peace - the weight of his life removed from his metaphysical shoulders. His hazel eyes opened up to see the form gone, but the gates open for him to step through.
And standing in the doorway was his mother, white robes flowing in a gentle breeze. Jess moved over to stand next to her, and Mary held out her hands for Sam to walk into, and then wrapped around him. "Welcome home, my little boy."
*~*
There was no such thing as time in Heaven. It could have been a day on earth, a year, or a lifetime that was passing... but Sam wouldn't have known it. The landscape shifted around them, appearing to each of them as how they wanted it to look. Right now, he was in a field of flowers, laying on his back and looking at the stars while Jess laid in his arms. His mother was just a few feet away, resting on another blanket while reading a book.
The days had been spent together as a family. People Sam had known had come to greet him, and he had met others in his family that he had never known. Pastor Jim and Sam sat for a long time, just talking about live and the paths they had walked. Calab was quiet, a few gentle words and a hug in acceptance before he disappeared in the mists. It was amazing how people just faded in and out of sight. All you had to do was think of someone and they would appear.
Sam thought he would get bored quickly at the lack of structure, but he didn't feel it. He just felt relaxed and lazy, something he hadn't felt... almost never. It was nice.
Of course, there was always the tugging of Dean in the back of his mind. He was worried about how his brother was surviving without him. But as the time went on, it slowly faded to his brother just being a happy memory to think about, and waiting for the day he would join him again. Contrary to popular belief, he didn't have the ability to watch over another mortal. That was a gift only the angels had, and Mom assured Sam that there was an angel who watched over Dean. Having met one and felt the peace from Castiel, Sam knew that Dean was safe.
Jess rolled over a bit, leaning up on Sam's chest to look down at him. Her fingers traced his cheek and he smiled. "I had almost forgotten how beautiful you are, Sam. I was afraid that you would not be able to enter."
"I told you not to doubt," Mary spoke from her spot. "My babies only do what they have to so they can help people. God forgives them for that."
"You remember Sam, when you used to tell me that you wanted to be a lawyer so that you could help the little people?" Jess plucked a flower and tried to put it in his hair. He laughed and tried to bat it away.
"Yes, I remember. You used to laugh at me and said I had a hero complex."
"Looks like I was right." She tried again and Sam grabbed her wrist, rolling them both over in the flowers until he was on top, looking down at her. He smiled and lowered his head, kissing her deeply. Fingers dropped the flowers as they wrapped around his neck and kept him close. He soon pulled away, his hair handing down around his face and then he settled down, resting his head on her chest as her fingers brushed through his hair. "My hero... and now I get to keep you all to myself."
"You won't find me complaining."
There was a shimmer of light, and Sam looked up to see a woman enter their patch of field. It took him a moment, and then he smiled, pushing himself up. "Madison?"
"Sam?" The brown eyes searched out his face, and then she was in his arms, holding him while having him hold her. She pulled back after a moment, her eyes sad. "I was thinking of you and I felt a tug and followed it. What happened?"
"It doesn't matter anymore," Sam said softly. Jess appeared by his side, and he kept one arm around Madison while another came to wrap around the blonde woman at his side. "Madison, this is Jessica."
"Pleased to meet you," the girls said at the same time, then smiled.
"Sam has talked about you," Madison said. "He was so much in love with you when I met him..."
"Was he now?" Jess gave a sly grin, then pulled away from Sam and took Madison's hand. "You have to catch me up then on just what kind of man my Sam became."
Sam rubbed the back of his neck, smiling. He was amazed that Jess hadn't even been jealous that there was another woman in Sam's life. Finally, Mary came over and rested her head on her son's shoulder.
"Jessica wanted you to be happy, just like I wished it for your father," Mary said. "Seeing Madison shows that you did that."
"I was worried she would think I forgot her." His arm slipped around his mother's waist.
"You moved on, Sam. She can't blame you for that. Just like you will meet other loved ones in her life when they come to pass." Mary took Sam's hand, leading him to her blanket. "Come spend time with your mother. I never got you much, so you will have to deal with me until your brother joins us."
"I don't mind the attention at all." He went to stretch out on the blanket, his head in his mother's lap as she told him stories about her life he had never known, all the while listening to Jess and Madison talk and laugh.
*~*
"I'm going to go visit some family," Jess said softly, kneeling down to kiss Sam's cheek. "It's been awhile and I'm sure they miss me."
"I'm not going anywhere," Sam smiled, then grabbed the back of her head, keeping her close so he could kiss her properly.
"I love you, Sam." Her hand ran along his face, pulling him close for another kiss. "No matter how long we're apart... I'm going to always love you."
She smiled, then stood up and walked until she disappeared into the mists. Sam watched her go, then laid back down to keep reading from the spot he had left off at. A few more minutes later, Sam closed the book he had been reading and sighed. "Looks like I have to go back to the library."
"You should slow down, Sam," Mary chided from her spot. A river had now made it's way into their glen, as well as a tree and Mary was on her blanket against it, dipping her toes into the water. "You're going to be reading through that place faster than the living can create them."
"What can I say, Mom? Twenty seven years of being a bookworm doesn't go away easily." He walked over and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back."
Mary grabbed Sam's hand quickly. "Sam... I'm so proud of you."
"I know you are, Mom." He looked down at her, confused at the strength that she held his hand with. "What's wrong?"
"Just listen, Sam. Our family is cursed... but you have the power to turn it into a gift. For justice. Dean can never know how strong you are..."
"You're scaring me, Mom..." Sam tried to pull his hand away, but Mary stood up, grabbing his arm.
"... and without you he's in over his head. One day you're going to have to go on without him, and you have what it takes. Just believe in yourself. Take care of your brother, and don't let anyone or anything get in your way."
"I don't understand what you're saying, Mom..."
Mary pulled Sam's head close to him and pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you, Sam."
"I love you too, Mom." He closed his eyes, holding his mother close. He didn't know what was freaking her out, but something was and they were in Heaven - she shouldn't even feel worried like this. "I'm only going to the library," he told her gently, trying to pull himself away.
"I'll be here when you get back," she said, wrapping her arms around herself. Sam nodded, then turned and started to walk, planning on envisioning the library.
And then she was gone and he was surrounded by shelves upon shelves of books. Sam took his time walking through the rows, his fingers running along the spines like a kind running a stick along a picket fence. Finally he wandered down an aisle and stopped, reaching for a book. "Paradise Lost. Wouldn't think they'd stock this here," he chuckled to himself, looking at the cover.
He heard a rush of feathers to his left and turned, the light of the angel next to him not hurting at all. He had seen a few angels now, mainly Castiel, but they each looked different. The balance of light and fire was always different. Tilting his head, Sam realized that this angel was more fire than light. "I haven't met you before. I'm..."
I know who you are, Samuel Winchester. I have come looking for you.
So have I.
Sam turned quickly and saw the dark cloud hovering on his other side. He dropped the book, taking a step back as the smell of sulfur overtook him. "No..." he said, looking at the angel. "No, this is wrong. I'm dead and in Heaven. How..."
Give your brother our regards, Sammy.
And then the world went black before he could even scream.
*~*
When Sam woke up, the first thing he realized was that he could barely see. Everything was so dark, and he thought perhaps it was the middle of the night but he could see the sun starting to shine through the window. And he was so cold and numb. Then there was pain in his body that he hadn't felt ever in his life, and he stood up to look at his back in the mirror.
There was a scar there, the injury healed but it was still painful to the touch. Before he could think about it, though, Dean walked in through the door. He looked at him, confused, and then he was pulled into a hug. But something wasn't right, and Sam could feel it in the back of his head.
He... he wasn't supposed to be here. He should... but not... "Dean... what happened to me?"
*~*
A field of flowers. Two blonde women were in the distance, and no matter how hard he tried to run to them, they just kept getting further and further away. And as it grew dark around them, all he could see was the glistening of the tears on their faces.
He jerked awake as Dean changed the radio dial around. "I swear, this state needs better radio stations. Tears in Heaven. Who listens to that crap?" Dean looked at Sam and smirked. "You doing ok over there, sleeping beauty?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"You sure? Looks like you've seen a ghost or something."
Sam shook his head, then looked out the window at the passing landscape. Ever since he woke up, he felt like something was missing from his life now, and he wasn't sure what. Like he wasn't whole anymore... the peace he had always felt in life shattered and betrayed. But why would he feel that?
"It was just a dream, Dean. Just a dream."
Fin.
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