Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2009-01-16 07:39 pm
likely_evil) wrote2009-01-16 07:39 pm
[WritePlace] One Step Closer to the Edge...
ooc: takes place after this
Suicide to think of you / But I still like the pain -Jackalope ‘Go Away’
As Ruby walked away, Sam took time to pull his broken body off the ground. The gun was gone. Dean's gun. That gun had been in that shoulder holster since he had joined CONTROL. He refused to take any other piece. The rest of his armory from the back of the Impala had been stashed at Bobby's. All he kept was the car - safe in the condo's garage where no one could steal it while he was out on assignments, a shotgun for the condo hidden in the front closet, the dream catcher that hung above his office desk, and that gun.
The gun which Ruby had taken from him. Just like Lilith had taken Dean from him.
Demons. Sam hated them with a passion, far more than he ever had when he and Dean had been a hunter. They just kept taking from him. One by one, his family was taken. Mom. Dad. Jess. Dean.
Each one tore at him in different ways, and now Ruby ripped one of the last things he had of his brother away. And it hurt, more than the not-dislocated-just-sprained wrist, the broken nose, or the pain in the back of his head.
She took Dean from him. And Sam didn't have much left to cling to as each assignment CONTROL tossed at him removed the last bits of Sam Winchester from him. The only one who even saw him as Sam anymore was Beth, late at night as they clung to one another in the world they lived in.
And there was no more Sammy. Sammy had died the same day Dean did.
Otherwise it was Agent 23. He was the one that hunted down the demons, using Sam Winchester as his persona. 23 who stayed up late at the main office with the tech guys, Bruce and Lloyd, working on new ideas until he fell asleep on the couch in one of the meeting rooms. 23 who appeared the moment he stepped over the threshold to his and Beth's condo, and only disappeared when he returned home.
Like now, as he stumbled in and slammed the door behind him. He took off his jacket with one hand, dropping it and the empty holster to the ground with his keys before making his way to the master bathroom. He didn't even stop as he walked by the den were 99 was resting on the couch there.
"Sam?" she called, seeing the disaster walk by. When he didn't answer, she got up to follow him, only to have the bathroom door slammed close in her face. "Sam! What happened?"
He looked at his reflection in the mirror as he started the water in the sink. He ignored Beth's calls as he reached down with one hand, wiping away the blood from his face. Then he just stared at his reflection. His palms were flat on the sink surface and he watched his shoulders start to shake, just as his vision became blurry.
It was only a matter of minutes when Beth had the door open, placing the lock pick back above the door frame. She walked in, her eyes trying to take everything in, and finally she just put a hand on his back. "Sam?"
He moved fast, pushing her arm away. He stood up quickly, but stumbled on the rug and fell against the wall. Slowly he slid down it until he was sitting on the ground, his arms around his knees. His face scrunched up and he hung his head, tears flowing down his cheeks.
"Sam, talk to me," Beth said, kneeling down beside him. "What the hell happened?"
"I couldn't stop her," Sam shook his head. "I spend my whole life fighting demons, and I couldn't stop her."
"Who's her?" She reached over for some toilet paper as Sam's nose was starting to bleed again along with his tears.
"Ruby. She took the gun, Beth. She took it and didn't even care what it meant to me." He looked up at her, and his eyes were so lost. It was rare for her to see him like this anymore, so the depth that losing the gun really struck home.
"We'll get it back, Sam," Beth told him. "We'll put out the word for teams to find her, and we'll handle her just like we have any other demon you've hunted out for us."
He nodded, but he carefully curled up into her arms and she held him on the floor as he shook, trying to fight back his tears. They stayed like that for a half hour, then finally she tempted Sam out of the bathroom and into bed. She dressed his injuries and gave him something to help him sleep as they curled into each other for the night.
The next morning, Sam woke up like he normally did, went to make a cup of coffee, showered, then dressed. 99 walked into the bathroom as Sam was fixing his tie, and she leaned into the door, watching the way he moved. It was cold, practiced, and military - and just a bit less like the Sam she had grown to care for.
"Sam?" she asked softly, her eyes observant to see how he reacted.
"I told her I was going to make it hurt, Beth." Sam stated, turning to her smoothly. "And I'm going to find her and make her suffer, if it's the last thing I do."
Sam Winchester
Supernatural
Suicide to think of you / But I still like the pain -Jackalope ‘Go Away’
As Ruby walked away, Sam took time to pull his broken body off the ground. The gun was gone. Dean's gun. That gun had been in that shoulder holster since he had joined CONTROL. He refused to take any other piece. The rest of his armory from the back of the Impala had been stashed at Bobby's. All he kept was the car - safe in the condo's garage where no one could steal it while he was out on assignments, a shotgun for the condo hidden in the front closet, the dream catcher that hung above his office desk, and that gun.
The gun which Ruby had taken from him. Just like Lilith had taken Dean from him.
Demons. Sam hated them with a passion, far more than he ever had when he and Dean had been a hunter. They just kept taking from him. One by one, his family was taken. Mom. Dad. Jess. Dean.
Each one tore at him in different ways, and now Ruby ripped one of the last things he had of his brother away. And it hurt, more than the not-dislocated-just-sprained wrist, the broken nose, or the pain in the back of his head.
She took Dean from him. And Sam didn't have much left to cling to as each assignment CONTROL tossed at him removed the last bits of Sam Winchester from him. The only one who even saw him as Sam anymore was Beth, late at night as they clung to one another in the world they lived in.
And there was no more Sammy. Sammy had died the same day Dean did.
Otherwise it was Agent 23. He was the one that hunted down the demons, using Sam Winchester as his persona. 23 who stayed up late at the main office with the tech guys, Bruce and Lloyd, working on new ideas until he fell asleep on the couch in one of the meeting rooms. 23 who appeared the moment he stepped over the threshold to his and Beth's condo, and only disappeared when he returned home.
Like now, as he stumbled in and slammed the door behind him. He took off his jacket with one hand, dropping it and the empty holster to the ground with his keys before making his way to the master bathroom. He didn't even stop as he walked by the den were 99 was resting on the couch there.
"Sam?" she called, seeing the disaster walk by. When he didn't answer, she got up to follow him, only to have the bathroom door slammed close in her face. "Sam! What happened?"
He looked at his reflection in the mirror as he started the water in the sink. He ignored Beth's calls as he reached down with one hand, wiping away the blood from his face. Then he just stared at his reflection. His palms were flat on the sink surface and he watched his shoulders start to shake, just as his vision became blurry.
It was only a matter of minutes when Beth had the door open, placing the lock pick back above the door frame. She walked in, her eyes trying to take everything in, and finally she just put a hand on his back. "Sam?"
He moved fast, pushing her arm away. He stood up quickly, but stumbled on the rug and fell against the wall. Slowly he slid down it until he was sitting on the ground, his arms around his knees. His face scrunched up and he hung his head, tears flowing down his cheeks.
"Sam, talk to me," Beth said, kneeling down beside him. "What the hell happened?"
"I couldn't stop her," Sam shook his head. "I spend my whole life fighting demons, and I couldn't stop her."
"Who's her?" She reached over for some toilet paper as Sam's nose was starting to bleed again along with his tears.
"Ruby. She took the gun, Beth. She took it and didn't even care what it meant to me." He looked up at her, and his eyes were so lost. It was rare for her to see him like this anymore, so the depth that losing the gun really struck home.
"We'll get it back, Sam," Beth told him. "We'll put out the word for teams to find her, and we'll handle her just like we have any other demon you've hunted out for us."
He nodded, but he carefully curled up into her arms and she held him on the floor as he shook, trying to fight back his tears. They stayed like that for a half hour, then finally she tempted Sam out of the bathroom and into bed. She dressed his injuries and gave him something to help him sleep as they curled into each other for the night.
The next morning, Sam woke up like he normally did, went to make a cup of coffee, showered, then dressed. 99 walked into the bathroom as Sam was fixing his tie, and she leaned into the door, watching the way he moved. It was cold, practiced, and military - and just a bit less like the Sam she had grown to care for.
"Sam?" she asked softly, her eyes observant to see how he reacted.
"I told her I was going to make it hurt, Beth." Sam stated, turning to her smoothly. "And I'm going to find her and make her suffer, if it's the last thing I do."
Sam Winchester
Supernatural