[badcompany_muse]: Deprivation

[likely_evil]

ooc: demon!Sam verse. The night after this

It was in the other eyes of the demon that Sam found himself remembering. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They had always been feelings. Things he didn't see pictured in his head.

But he saw them now. They had found another motel to sleep in that night, and Alec and Dean were inside. Two beds, two men. Trying to sleep. Not think of the demons. Not think of bad things. But Sam can only think of bad things. Bad bad things. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN!

Sam sat on the hood of the Impala. He leaned back on the windshield and looked up at the stars. The sky was black. Dark. But there was light. Little worlds making light. But there only light in hell was from fire.

There were only a few memories that Sam had. Now he had these and he didn't want them anymore. They were not fireflies. They were knives and blood and bad things. Bad things.

Pain. He was on a rack. Hooks in his shoulder. threads woven in and out of his limbs to keep him in place. Dad next to him. Same torture. Alastair. "It's ok, Sammy. Be strong."

Hurt. Knives. Cutting flesh. Muscle. Little strips away piece by piece. Different ways. More and more until nothing left. Dad crying. Alastair laughing. Then back in one piece. Breathless. Raw.

Fire. So hot. Pokers. Stabbing skin. Eyeballs. Smell the flesh as it burnt when it fell to the ground. Flesh curls when it burns. Lights up like a firefly before it dies. Gone.

Smoke. So thick. Hurt to breathe. Can't see. See things wrong. Where's dad? not on rack. Knife. In front. Alastair smiling. Dad not. "It's ok, Sammy. Be strong."

DEAN!

The crack of the windshield brought Sam back from his vision. He looked down and saw his hands were bleeding. Then he saw the Impala. The windshield was broken. Two impacts. Stars bursting from the pain to ripple along the clear glass. Never the same. Can't see through. Shattered.

Home was broken. He broke it. His fault. Dean will be mad. Sam quickly got into the car and curled up in the back seat. He his his hands in his hoodie. Curled up and rocked as he tried to keep the memory away. Dean would be out soon. Yelling. Mad.

His fault. He was a demon. Bad. Bad thing.

Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN!

Comments

[likely_evil]

Sam nodded. "And tomorrow fix home."

Alec or Dean were going to have to get out of the car first since Sam was in the middle.

[smart-alec494.livejournal.com]

Alec nodded. We can call a auto glass place first thing." He squirmed out. "For now we can just cover her up with a tarp." He was sure he'd seen one in the trunk.

[jstliketherifle.livejournal.com]

"They'll come out and fix her up, good as new," Dean nodded. He knew exactly where the tarp was, but he was going to let Sam get out first.

[likely_evil]

Sam crawled out of the car after Alec, hugging his arms close to him. He was going to wait for Dean before going inside.

[smart-alec494.livejournal.com]

Alec didn't make any move to head in without them. He was content to keep Sam company While Dean got out the tarp.

[jstliketherifle.livejournal.com]

Which Dean did, making his way around to the trunk, digging through it for a moment, before pulling out the tarp and heading towards the front of the car. He slowly spread the scratchy material over the front of his car and then turned around to face the two of them with a nod towards the door.

"Ready to head in?"

[likely_evil]

Sam nodded, watching Dean before heading into the hotel. He didn't want to take either bed, but there was a comfy chair that he flopped himself in, putting his feet up on the table.

[smart-alec494.livejournal.com]

"You sure you don't want part of one of the beds?" Alec asked before be crawled back into his nest. He'd be willing to move over for Sam.

[jstliketherifle.livejournal.com]

Dean glanced over at his brother, looking for some kind of response from him. Dean would move over too -- not big deal.

[likely_evil]

Sam looked at the two of them. They both wanted him to join them. But they needed to sleep. But they were worried. But he could only curl up with one.

So he picked up the chair and moved it between the two beds. he put it by Dean's bed, then propped his feet up on Alec's.

"You need sleep so you have beds. I'm good."

[smart-alec494.livejournal.com]

Alec gave an amused snort at Sam's solution to obviously trying to not slight either of them but still do what they wanted. "You're a little weird, you know that?" But he said it with obvious affection. And then he tossed a blanket onto Sam's head.

[jstliketherifle.livejournal.com]

Dean just snorted before kicking off his shoes again, and crawling back into bed. It was a few minutes before he drifted off again, curled up in the sheets and blankets.

[likely_evil]

Sam smiled and took the blanket off his head, wrapping it around him. "Yes," he answered, then slouched down in the chair so he could rest a bit too.