applications: betenoire_rp

[likely_evil]

1. Player Information
Name (or internet handle): Alison Sky
Current characters in Bete Noire: none

2. Character Information
Name: Sam Winchester
Livejournal Username: likely_evil
Fandom: Supernatural (AU)
Image: Icon Here

3. Character Information II
Age/Appearance : He is a 24 year old, scrawny 6’4 beanpole who looks like he needs a good meal, a shower and a haircut almost all the time. Because he has been a demon for “five years” in hell years, he doesn’t remember to take care of his body that has given back to him*. He wears ratty jeans and t-shirts with a hoodie that he uses to hide in when he’s not hiding behind the hair that falls over his eyes. He also goes barefoot unless someone reminds him to put shoes on, and his nails are always ragged from chewing on them when he’s nervous.
(*Seeing that “Sam” technically is a sulfur cloud as he is a demon in their world canonically, reading the game FAQ’s I would assume he would get a human body back so he doesn’t have to possess people.)

History: Six months after Sam was born, his mother –Mary – was killed on the ceiling of his nursery. Since that day, his father – John – dragged Sam and his older brother – Dean – around the country as he hunted for the demon – Azazel – that had killed her. As Sam got older, he didn’t want to be a demon hunter, and when he was 18 he left John and Dean to go to college and have a normal life. There he met his girlfriend, Jess, and was planning on having a future with her. That future would die on November 2nd, 2005 when Sam returned from a trip with his brother (their father had gone missing and Dean needed help) to find Jess pinned to the ceiling before she was set on fire and killed by the same demon that killed his mother.

Sam rejoined his brother in the hunting game as they tried to find their father while hunting demons that they found along the way. However, things started to get weird as Sam started to have nightmares of people dying that he realized he was seeing into the future. He would come to learn that the demon who had killed Jess and Mary was also responsible for these nightmares that soon turned to death visions.

They found John, but after a car accident that had Dean at death’s door, John sold his soul to Azazel for Dean’s life. However, before he died, John told Dean that one day he was going to have to save his brother or kill him. When Dean told his to Sam, he started on a spiral where he believed he needed to save as many people as he could to prove he wasn’t going to go “dark side”. And that included saving the other “children” like him with special gifts.

One evening while getting dinner, Sam was kidnapped from the diner right under Dean’s nose. He was taken to a ghost down for a “psychic kids showdown”. While there, Azazel revealed to Sam why he was special; when he was six months old, he had dripped demon blood into Sam’s mouth to give him these special abilities. In the end, it came down to a battle of survival between Sam and a soldier named Jake, and just as Dean and Bobby came to rescue Sam, Jake stabbed Sam in the back and severed his spinal cord, killing him as Dean clutched onto Sam’s body – only seconds too late.

(AU STARTS)
Because of the demon blood in Sam, he’s given a first class ticket to Hell where Alistair has a rack set up just for Sam. Plans are in motion to break John Winchester to be able to break the first seal and start the process to free Lucifer. John had already been in Hell for 100 years (Hell time) without breaking, so Alistair decided to torture the patriarch by torturing the soul of his younger son in front of his eyes.

For five years, Alistair cut and tortured Sam. And then every night Alistair offered to stop if John would take up the knife and torture other souls instead. But every night John still said no even as the smell of Sam’s “soul flesh” burned around him. As the fifth year started, Alistair was in the middle of a session when the Devil’s Gate opened. There was a rush of demons through Hell, and John made a move and ripped himself from the rack and then grabbed what remained of Sam at that time and took off for the gate. He dropped Sam in a tree, whispering the words Find Dean into Sam’s ear before rushing back to the cemetery. Sam never saw the soul of his father again after that.

For months Sam tried to figure out where this “Dean” was he was supposed to find. He figured he would know what or who a Dean was when he found it, but he has not had any luck. A lot of bad things have found him though and tried to hurt him – hunters and other demons alike – and so he tends to stalk around in shadows and observe from afar, usually from branches of trees because if Dad left him there, he must believe that Sam would be safe in them.

Personality: Sam is a broken soul that was pulled out of Hell in the middle of a torture session by Alistair. The soul is what makes a person who they were, and Alistair had carved large pieces of Sam away. He has some memories of his past, a lot of which is regressed and need to be brought back out by those who know him. He still has a lot of his intelligence, but he talks in circles because he’s still working on remembering how to express himself. He makes sense if you really listen to him, though. He will act like a scared child, especially when he has nightmares about Hell. He also is skittish and will flee over fighting. And he’s very good at hiding, in particular when he thinks he is in trouble. However, there are moments when he will act like pure Sam when something touches on a memory he remembers, or certain people from his past treat him like they would before he died. He’s also very fond of things that twinkle and sparkle – fireflies, stars, and lava lamps with glitter in them being in the top three.

He also has a hard time controlling his emotions, especially anger. While he will try to flee, if he gets back into a corner, people will realize that there is a demon hiding behind the hazel eyes of the crazy but adorable young man with no shoes. He has no reservations killing someone trying to hurt him (or those he is protective of). When his adrenaline flows, his speech pattern is more concise and understandable, dark and foul mouthed, and also will get sexually aroused and tends to like it rough during these times. When he’s in his darker moods, he will also have a blood fetish and won’t clean it off himself, and will even taste it. There’s just something about blood that pulls at him, especially blood of other demons, but he doesn’t know why.

When the adrenaline fades, however, he will slip back into the broken soul and realize what he’s done was “wrong” and go back into hiding because he’s afraid of being hunted. He knows what a hunter does and he doesn’t want to be hunted.

Sexual Preferences/Orientation: When Sam is in his normal mindset, sex isn’t something he would go out looking for. However, it is truly one of his darker urges in his demonic side, and he will just take and use it just for his own enjoyment. He likes it rough and fast, but will get bored if the “fight” isn’t kept up with his partner. He is also more apt to play around with kinks – bloodplay especially. He is not monogamous, and in fact when he is lusting he will not hesitate to literally take someone for his own purposes and then leave them when he’s done. Like his canonical mind, he is heterosexual and likes women. Men just don’t do anything for him.

Powers: Sam is a demon, which comes with the normal canonical package – extra strength, telekinesis, and the ability to move himself and the meat suit faster than the normal eye can follow. (However, for the game, Sam is losing the ability to leave his body). As a human, Sam also had painful death visions of people who were connected to him through Azazel’s “special children project” and would be susceptible for anyone who has “control” over him in Bete Noire to give him visions as well if they so chose to.

Reason for playing: This version of Sam is actually the first version that I started to RP with on Livejournal as a three-on-one game back in 2008 (link to game) that has for all purposes died. However, I love the voice and the drastic differences in Sam that comes through in this version of him. He’s not the evil heartless demon that you see played by most people, but this cute fluffy puppy who will bite your arm off if you pet him wrong – literally. I have been trying to find a new place for him and basically hit the restart button with new people to see how he would grow, or be tainted, in a different world than what I was used to playing him in. This setting is going to give me a bit more of a chance to play on the darker side of Sam I’ve only been able to touch on once in our old game, and I’ve wanted to explore and experiment more on that part of his demonic side. Enoch is a setting that would pull on those sides more than he has had, and also will throw people and events at me that I have not played at him with and be able to even explore more on who this voice is in my head than I could think to take him.

5. Samples
First-Person:

[there’s a smear of blood on the screen, which matches the blood on Sam’s face. He’s biting his lip, scared]

I don’t know what happened. They just… they started yelling and shot me and I…

[he sucks on his finger that is covered in blood a moment, then licks his lips]

I’m not a bad thing. They made me hurt ‘im. I’m not a bad thing - I’m NOT a bad thing!

[he slumps a bit like he’s sitting in the ground and curls up a bit. He’s more muttering to himself now]

They called me a freak. I’m not a freak. I’m a good thing, not a bad thing. They are the bad things. They deserve to be hurt. Not me. I didn’t -

[he hears footsteps approaching and looks up as the sound of a siren could be heard. Then the feed cuts off as he shoves the device in his pocket to run away]

Third-Person:
Sam had been walking along a road all day. He didn’t have to walk. He knew he could go move and go places, but he wanted to walk. Walking was good, even if it meant he had to wear his shoes. He had tried to walk without the stupid shoes but the road had big rocks that cut into the feet of the body he was in. He didn’t remember where he found the body on the road, but he had and it was nice and warm to be inside something for awhile.

He was looking for “dean” again, even though he didn’t think this thing actually existed. He had looked everywhere because Dad told him to “find dean”. Sam didn’t know what “dean” was. He knew that the name meant something, because he felt a little tingle in his chest when he thought about it. He just wished he remembered. There were a lot of things Sam wished he remembered.

He just kept thinking and walking, walking and thinking. Cars stopped passing him after awhile, which Sam liked because they smelt bad. Then there were less and less trees to keep the sun off him. He squinted to try and see where the road was going, but it just kept going and going. There was a point where the sun was in his eyes and it hurt to look and he thought that he should turn around and go back. But something in him wanted to keep moving. It was a pull in a part of him: telling him to keep walking and he would find what he needed.

He saw the city as the sun set, and stopped. There was a dirty smell coming down the road, and it looked wrong to him, even as that pull kept telling him to keep walking. He wanted to run and hide, but instead he started to walk to the city. Maybe I will find dean here he thought as he left the road behind and the shadows of the city lengthened over him.

There were a lot of shadows in the city. Sam noticed this as he walked between buildings, and soon found himself lost and unable to find the road that brought him here. He knew he could hide in the shadows until he could figure out where he was, and fear started to grip him as night fell. However, what scared Sam more was the soft growl that escaped from his lips as he turned to look at the tower that rose above all the other buildings.

He was in a bad place; he could feel it. And for all it felt wrong, there was a part inside of him that said that this place was right.


Third-Person #2:

The smell of the blood on her neck called to him. He had heard the fight from the skeleton of a tree he had been hiding in, and watched her run as two vampires chased her. It was a game, but he could smell her fear, and Sam knew that if he didn’t stop them, they would kill her.

He moved quickly, jumping between them and using the hunter training that was ingrained in every inch of his soul to rip the heads off both vampires. He felt their blood cover his body, and he watched with black eyes as they fell to the ground.

“Thank you...” the blonde hooker started to walk towards him, then she screamed as she saw his black eyes. She turned to run, but Sam grabbed her arm and pinned her to the wall.

He growled softly, his eyes looking at her neck, then her lips. They were the same color - red. He smirked a bit, then leaned in to kiss her hard, knowing that the vampire blood that covered his body was now pressed against her flesh. He rubbed his body against her more, wanting to take more from her and his body showed that.

When he pulled back from kissing her, he looked her in the eyes. “I won’t hurt you,” he told her. “I’m not a bad thing.”

The woman looked at him, then licked her lips. “You did save my life...” she hesitated, then carefully brought a hand to run along his cheek. “What are you?”

“My name is Sam,” he told her.

“Well, Sam, if you want something as a reward, we could talk?”

“I don’t want to talk.” He kissed her again, pressing her harder into the wall as his hands moved to rip apart her clothes. She moaned into the kiss as she felt him thrust into her. It was fast and hard, her legs wrapping around Sam’s waist as he took her against the wall, not caring if anyone came across the couple having sex in the back alley.

Soon his lips left hers to find her neck and the open wounds from the vampire bite. The blood tasted hot and sweet in his mouth and it fueled him on. “Oh god, baby don’t stop,” she cried out, pulling on his hair as she urged him on. Sam bit into her neck harder, pulling more blood from her as he shifted her hips to get even deeper inside of her. It was only a moment later where he felt her squeeze his shaft as she screamed in her orgasm.

But he didn’t stop, and just kept thrusting into her again and again. He never noticed as her grip on him weakened as she slowed down, then stopped moving with her. But she was still tight and wet, and he didn’t plan on stopping until after he grunted and came deep inside of her.

His lust sated, he stepped away from her and worked to fasten his jeans back up. The woman was barely able to hold herself up, a sleepy smile on her face. “Baby, that was the best... I can barely.” She slumped to the floor, and Sam tilted his head, watching her a moment.

When she didn’t move, he knelt down beside her and reached over to run a hand along her cheek and then to her neck. He could feel her heart beating - barely - and bit on his lip a moment before he gathered her into his arms and got her quickly to the ER. He left her at the door, knowing that he couldn’t walk in covered in blood. “You’re safe now,” he told her softly, and then disappeared before the two doctors noticed the nearly dead hooker at their front door.





While most of this app is great, we'd like to hear more detail and expansion on personality. First off, who is Sam underneath the torture? Who was he before all of this happened to him?

1. Personality Expansion

Growing up, Sam knew there was a dark secret in his family and there was a reason why they weren’t “normal”. Not every kid traveled around the country in the backseat of a car. He always asked questions: “What happened to mom?” “Why don’t we have a house?” “Why do I have to go to a new school?”. John and Dean would try to protect him and not tell Sam the truth about the monsters that John was hunting - Dean learned about it early on since he was four when their mother died and Sam was just a baby. That came to an end when one Christmas Eve, Sam found John’s hunter journal and read all about the monsters and his mother.

There was then an incident when Sam was seven in which he was kidnapped (Rising Son comic) and John realized that Sam was different. His protective instinct became a growing issue between father and son through the rest of his childhood. John wanted Sam to learn to hunt and carry on the “family business” not just as a responsibility, but also to keep himself safe and a way for John to watch over his “special” son. Sam, however, grew to hate the hunter life and ran away a few times to try and be “normal”, until he finally walked out the door and left his family and the business behind to go off to college. John told him never to come back, and for years Sam felt that he was cut off and on his own, and worked to find that balance of being normal even though his whole life had not been so.

He hid his secret life from his friends, and especially from his girlfriend. He didn’t want them to see him as a freak. Even after Jess’ death and Sam leaving college to help Dean find John, Sam worked to keep up his relationships with his college friends. It was a grip on reality that he needed to have as he started to learn himself just how “special” he was as he started to get his visions and learn more truths about himself from the demon they hunted.

His values of family are different than that of his brother and father (this is a discussion in season 5 that touches pre-season 1 memories). Dean always puts his family first, especially the well being of his baby brother. John had burnt into Dean’s soul that it was his job to look after Sam. Sam, on the other hand, does love his family even when he wants to throttle them, but did not feel as dependant on them growing up. He fights with his father - constantly - and even started an argument in the last conversation they would have before John died in selling his soul for Dean. Sam never felt that his leaving to be normal was an act of hatred to his family, but a need for himself to get away from Dad. Dean felt it as “the worst day of this life” when his baby brother left. As Sam said then “I guess we just look at the idea of family differently”.

It isn’t until Sam goes back to the hunting day to day with Dean that his bond with his brother grow into a deeper connection than they had as kids. They are adults now, and seeing that they are the only ones each other has, it forms a co-dependant nature between them that is their greatest strength, but can also be their biggest weakness when the demons pit them against each other as a way to try and destroy them both.

In season 2, as Sam discovers he’s special, Dean tells him about John’s last words: that he needed to protect Sam, and watch over him, and that he would have to either save him... or kill him. The realization that John had basically put a “save or kill” mark on his younger son hurt Sam more than he would ever admit. But he also knew if he was destined to go “dark side”, he was going to do everything he could to stop it from happening. He swore to himself that he would have to just save everyone he could, and took it hard when someone died on a job that he felt he could save. Each loss was a personal stab wound at him, driving him more desperately to find some kind of redemption for the fear of future sins he might commit.

Before Sam’s death, he’s come to the realization that he can never be normal again, no matter how much he may want it. He still has the ability to love, to be a friend, and help anyone in need. But he’s losing the conviction that when “this is all over” he will be able to go back to school and try the normal life again. It’s turning more into a dream of what was and what could never be, and while he wishes it wasn’t true, he knows that he’s better at saving people and that the people he cares about get hurt when he lets his guard down, so it is better this way.


Next, how aware is he of the memories he's missing? How does this impact him, and how does his original personality affect how he treats that?

2. Expansion on Loss of Memories

He is not aware of the specific memories he is missing. He is aware that there are big parts of his mind that are gone and it is that loss that gives him a childlike innocence to the world in general. He’s learning about the world again through a demon’s eyes with some hints from his old life that guide him along on how he should and shouldn’t react to it.

Usually if he is reminded about something specific from his past, his brain will remake the connections and give him a faint version of the memory, but more from the point of view of the one reminding him than his own. *In the old game, Sam became dependant on Dean in being able to get some of his memories back though his psychic powers. Here, I don’t want Sam to be reliant on Dean (or Deanna in this case) because it wouldn’t be fair to the other player so I’m not giving him that power.*

There are good parts of Sam that are heavily instinctive that don’t have the memory to go along with why he reacts a certain way. For instance - someone calling him a freak will instantly bring Sam’s inner demon out in kill mode. However, he doesn’t remember many of the times he was called that as a kid in school for being different, or his brother calling him that in anger. Once he finds whoever or whatever this “dean” is that he’s hunting for, he will be very protective of it. That deep bond to his brother is still prominent, but he won’t know why he is that protective until someone reminds him of specifics.

His urging to be normal isn’t there as much as the urging to want to be liked and have friends that was a part of that normalcy. He is aware he’s a demon and that being a demon is a “bad thing” so he needs to be a “good thing” or else something will hurt him. Again, basic instincts of a hunter: demon = bad, must be killed. He also knows that being alone is not safe, and he needs someone to watch over him. He’s well aware that he is not a “functional” adult. It doesn’t stop him from trying to be on some things as he does have a few memories of being a mature adult.

There are also times he remembers things, but not the word for it. Like the Impala, if he ever sees it, is known to him only as home. That’s the connection he makes, even if he can’t remember why it’s home. He also attaches safety to it. He also will attach safety with Dean because something in him remembers that Dean was a protector to him. Hell is a series of images of fire and smoke and fire and pain. He doesn’t remember any torture sessions beyond the last one, and because of that he fears going back to Hell and it’s a reinforcement for him to be a “good thing”.

Sometimes it will frustrate him when instinct will tell him that he should remember something but he can’t find the memory, and at other times he will remember facts but doesn’t know how he is supposed to react to them beyond just a detail. The disconnect between his memories and his instincts cause the most conflict in his head.

Because his soul wasn’t twisted around in Hell, and just cut away at, the darker side isn’t prominent in his behavior unless the conflict and frustration become too great for him to handle. he also doesn’t have the urge to manipulate people unless the darker side of him is in control. The darker side plays on Sam’s original human fears and instincts. The darker side is born from the anger that Sam as a human has already started to grow - it’s seen a lot more in season 4 & 5. It is the side of Sam that doesn’t like being told what to do. The side that fought with John so often now feeding at Sam to be the stronger one, not be weak. Someone comes after you, you make sure you take their ass out first.

The darker side is also the sexual frustration that has built since Jessica died. He had a moment with Madison in season 2 in which Sam learned that he could love again. In finding that ability, he also had to kill her. It gave Sam that fear that anyone he cared about would get hurt so he keeps himself distant from women while his brother goes off to fornicate on a near nightly basis. The memories of the women he cared about are there in bits and pieces that are disconnected, but the frustration of not having someone and wanting one badly adds to his lust when he goes dark.

When he comes out of the darker side and back to “normal”, he will always be scared of himself because knowing that he hurt someone goes against that basic instinct of being a “good thing”. If he can fix what he did wrong, he will try. He will flee from any authoritative figures in fear he will be killed - similar to how Sam tried to save whoever he could if he has the power to, and how he and Dean would blow town before the cops showed up.

If he does get more canon mates who are willing to give him canon memories from season 1 and 2, I expect that his behavior will alter a bit based on the memories he regains and the relationships he reforms - as any character in RP would grow based off the environment and situations thrown at him in the game. But I am, again, not going to expect any of it to happen if/when they come in, and as it is right now the only person he remembers the most is his father. Dean will need to work on Sam to pull him out a bit more beyond the childhood memories and instincts, and minor characters from the series (i.e. Bobby) he will have no recognition of without a lot of reminding.



Finally, how do you think the AU will affect Sam in-game, as far as plot opportunities and the process of playing him?

3. Looking first as the difference just in playing canon Sam vs. the AU Sam, I think it would affect him in that the reactions to the game plots and interactions with others in the game become very instinctual as opposed to how Sam in canon is emotional and intelligent in his choices. Depending on the plot really does matter on the difference in playing them.

Since Sam - later in canon - is revealed to be a descendant of Cain and Abel, and Lucifer’s vessel - it’s safe to say that he can easily be manipulated by Satan if the devil so chooses. Either dead or alive, Sam’s always been the special on in the eyes of Azazel, and was supposed to lead a demonic army. His dark side would be a great leader if he was given an opportunity for power, and then he would have to keep himself from slipping back into the childish innocent mindset to pull it off.

In looking at this, we’ve already seen how Sam as a human would react to all the temptations that leads him down the good intention path to hell. That’s canon. When Sam comes back in canon from the death I’m pulling him from, Azazel says haunting words to Dean about if he knows how much of what he brought back was really Sam. It was that line that led me to come up with this version of Sam to begin with.

With the way the plot follow, especially if things are looking into a Book of Revelation Apocalypse, Sam was a central figure in his canon who resisted it and knew what good was from evil - for the most part - as revelations went down. As a demon, that view is skewed because only half of Sam’s instincts are from when he was human. He can easily be played by either side as a pawn for whatever reason he was led to the city in the first place, or he can find his maturity in the trails set before him and become a leader on either side.

There are so many ways Sam could go in this game, most of which would be determined just in the relationships he forms and how he is pushed along. Like I said in my original application, I like this game in how I would be able to touch on his darker side more and the conflict between the two. Seeing Sam’s destiny in canon fits him in well with the premise of the game - canonically or AU. I just don’t want to rehash what the series has already done, which is a large reason why it is better to have him AU. I want to see an alternative way in how Sam would play in the apocalypse, and what kind of role he would have here.