Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likely_evil) wrote2009-09-15 10:30 pm
likely_evil) wrote2009-09-15 10:30 pm
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
justprompts: You have the right to remain silent. Will you?
The silence was torture.
"Why do you keep bringing it up?" Dean asked and Sam shut himself back down because he didn't want to make his brother mad. After everything he had done, making Dean mad was the last thing Sam wanted.
Sam wanted to apologize. But how does someone say they are sorry for the apocalypse? Especially when he could have stopped it long ago by just listening to his brother. Dean - the one who had always taken care of him and Sam had turned a deaf ear to him.
For what? Thinking he could be the hero all because a demonic whore with false promises whispered in his ear while he fucked her to forget about the pain of life?
When did you fall from heaven, Sammy? When did you lose your faith in yourself?
Not talking was going to drive him mad. He needed to say something - anything! He needed Dean to scream at him, throw down and beat the crap out of him. SOMETHING that was among the Winchester line of communication.
But no. Dean didn't want to talk.
The pain inside grew as every hour passed. Chuck telling Dean out loud about what had happened. Seeing Bobby's face when Sam admitted to what he had done - it was the demon talking, Sam... remember that. The snide remarks from Zachariah. The feeling he got from Castiel.
None of that mattered more than Dean, though. His brother... through all of this Sam was doing it for Dean. To get revenge. Justice. Being strong because Dean was tired and not strong enough. Lie after lie he told himself to justify what Sam had done to himself just to kill Lilith. I killed that girl...
What they had wanted him to do all along.
It was still his fault, though. His choices. His mistakes all adding up to staring now at his brother across the parking lot and just wanting to hear something from him. Something to just let Sam know what Dean was thinking. What he could do to make this right.
But no. Dean didn't want to talk... and Sam should have left well enough alone.
Because when he did...
"I don't think that we can ever be what we were... I just don't think I can trust you."
It broke his heart more than he thought possible.
"Why do you keep bringing it up?" Dean asked and Sam shut himself back down because he didn't want to make his brother mad. After everything he had done, making Dean mad was the last thing Sam wanted.
Sam wanted to apologize. But how does someone say they are sorry for the apocalypse? Especially when he could have stopped it long ago by just listening to his brother. Dean - the one who had always taken care of him and Sam had turned a deaf ear to him.
For what? Thinking he could be the hero all because a demonic whore with false promises whispered in his ear while he fucked her to forget about the pain of life?
When did you fall from heaven, Sammy? When did you lose your faith in yourself?
Not talking was going to drive him mad. He needed to say something - anything! He needed Dean to scream at him, throw down and beat the crap out of him. SOMETHING that was among the Winchester line of communication.
But no. Dean didn't want to talk.
The pain inside grew as every hour passed. Chuck telling Dean out loud about what had happened. Seeing Bobby's face when Sam admitted to what he had done - it was the demon talking, Sam... remember that. The snide remarks from Zachariah. The feeling he got from Castiel.
None of that mattered more than Dean, though. His brother... through all of this Sam was doing it for Dean. To get revenge. Justice. Being strong because Dean was tired and not strong enough. Lie after lie he told himself to justify what Sam had done to himself just to kill Lilith. I killed that girl...
What they had wanted him to do all along.
It was still his fault, though. His choices. His mistakes all adding up to staring now at his brother across the parking lot and just wanting to hear something from him. Something to just let Sam know what Dean was thinking. What he could do to make this right.
But no. Dean didn't want to talk... and Sam should have left well enough alone.
Because when he did...
"I don't think that we can ever be what we were... I just don't think I can trust you."
It broke his heart more than he thought possible.