for 50prompts: Solitary

[likely_evil]

ooc: takes place in wayward_au verse concurrent to this.

Sam stood in the hallway, watching the people pass him by. He had stopped trying to get their attention days ago, knowing that they couldn't see him. No one could. When they saw him, all they saw was the broken body that lay on the bed in ICU, machines working to keep it going.

So this is how Dean must have felt that time he was in the coma...

He had told Dean to destroy his body, but because there had been a faint heartbeat, he hadn't. Dean couldn't do it, and now Sam knew it was just going to stay there until some demon came along and decided to do a bit of recycling with the AntiChrist.

But now that his body was stable, he wasn't fizzing in and out anymore. That had been weird, seeing the maw of hell opening up before his eyes, trying to pull at him before the doctors got his heartbeat going again and he returned to his land of limbo.

Why am I still alive? he wondered as he walked down the halls. He could feel the other spirits in the place - those of who died, and those who still clung to the comatose bodies with a delicate string. There were a large group of them, many of whom just sat on the bed staring at their bodies and slowly going mad with the loneliness.

Perhaps this was his punishment? He would be stuck here until he went mad and became an angry spirit. Something that another hunter would have to come and destroy. Would it be Dean or his children... or one of theirs? Would they know how to help him eventually and send him finally on that last trip to hell?

Sam wasn't stupid. He had known where his final resting place would be the moment he agreed to Ruby's plan. Another sacrifice he made for his brother. His stupid, selfish brother who now just SAT THERE while Sam watched the hours go by on the clock and nothing changed.

The flash of blonde caught his eye and Sam stood up and crossed the hall. He saw Ruby standing next to his body, and he found that he couldn't stop but watch her face, or how her hand gently took his. He came to stand behind her, wanting to put a hand on her shoulder, but it just passed through her as if he was just air.

I'm sorry I wasn't stronger for you. I didn't want this to happen.

He lifted his head as Ben walked in, and he watched his nephew carefully. In eight months now he had watched Ben grow from a boy into a man, right before his eyes. And now here he was, the strongest of the Winchesters checking him over, and then talking about taking his place.

He wanted to scream. Wanted to tell Ben not to do this. he had been wrong asking him to take this up. There didn't need to be another Winchester sacrificing themselves for the world. When will they stop asking too much from us...

When they exited with Dean into the other room, Sam instead went to stand beside Alec and look at the his broken nephew. Of all of them, Alec might actually be able to see him - know he was there. Yet he slept on in his own injury induced slumber. At least he had a chance to pull out of it because Sam had yet to run across Alec in the hallways.

Jinx lifted his head, sniffing the air. He knew something was around, but the hell hound didn't look in his direction. Sam reached out to try and touch the hound, but when Sam's hand got near, there was a snarl. He pulled back, leaving the dog alone to be.

You're going to get better and continue the fight, he thought as he looked at his nephew. Don't let your brother or father do anything stupid.

The door opened across the way and Dean came back in, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Sam lowered his head, knowing that Ben and Ruby had won that argument, and he watched as Dean did a quick check of Alec's monitors before going over to stand over Sam's bed.

Sam knelt down a bit, watching his brother's face tighten as he just stared at Sam's closed eyes. Dean's hand as it wiped at his eyes, trying to get rid of tears before they fell to admit the weakness that only came out around him.

Sam hung his head a moment, then stood up and moved beside his brother. Dean, I'm so sorry. You came back to this life, and I wish I could have spared you this pain. We were just getting to be brothers again after so many years. I'd give anything to be able to come back to you. God, I'd do anything just to do that and get back to how we used to be. It was so much easier then. You and me, the road ahead behind us and opportunities ahead. When did we start dreading the days? When did we really fall apart?

"Sammy... open your damn eyes," Dean muttered. "I know you're here. You're too damn stubborn to die. Damnit please... open your eyes."

Sam flexed his hand as he felt Dean squeezing his body's hand. So much energy was in it that he could feel it. He tried to squeeze back, but he knew there was no use.

He was alone in this realm. Somewhere between life and hell.

Then there was a flicker and Sam gasped, stumbling back. He looked at his hands, and they flickered again, fading before coming back. His eyes tore to the monitor where the heartbeat was starting to go erratic again. Dean instantly grabbed the call button and started to push it.

Sam's eyes were glued to the little heart on the monitor. He watched as it got bright and brighter, then burst into flames and he felt the heat on his face. Choked on the smoke a moment before there were demons around him again, scratching at him, trying to keep him in hell this time. He screamed as parts of his soul were shredded away and flung into the abyss...

And then he was on the floor of the hospital again, whole as he stared at the linoleum. he moved quickly to look up and saw Kutner next to Dean, checking vitals as the monitors were once again steady.

"Is he always going to do that?" Dean asked, checking Sam over.

"No. If he doesn't wake up, if they keep happening, eventually his heart just won't start again. Like a battery that's been jumped one too many times." Kutner pursed his lips. "We can try to put in a pacemaker next, but I worry about him going under on any kind of drugs..."

Sam just listened to them talk, then he turned and saw another spirit walk down the halls. She stopped and looked at Sam, then gave him a wicked smile. He narrowed his eyes, walking out to see her.

You think you're in hell now, Sam Winchester? Just wait. If the council has it's way, you're going to be begging for an exorcism to end your suffering, and then you'll go to hell where the real fun begins. And then like that, the spirit was gone.

Sam looked back at his brother as he was now sitting by his bed, holding his hand while Kutner was taking a reading from the monitors.

God help me... just end the suffering please... I don't want him to suffer any more.

He felt himself fall to his knees, defeated and unable to get consolation in his fate.

Please God... I'll do anything.

I'm so sorry...