likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
Dean was starting to get a bad feeling about this case.

They'd been trailing Ruby for a while now after the whole church incident, trying to keep an idea on her and what she was up to, but she was all over the map as far as victims were concerned. Dean would acknowledge that she was too good at what she did to not have some other kind of ulterior motive. There was a pattern there, but Dean just hadn't found it yet. He also knew that going in blind wasn't the smartest plan in the world, but there was a kid involved. Little eight year-old girl who Ruby had grabbed and hauled out of town like she was some kind of sacrifice to whatever Hell god she worshiped, and while Dean my not have known anything about what exactly it was Ruby was up to, but he wasn't going to take a risk on the kid's life.

He pulled the Impala up to the side of the cabin where they though the kid was being held. He could see the lights on through the window, and the small silhouette of a girl who was most likely scared out of her mind. If they could get in there and get out without alerting the demon bitch, then they would be golden. "Alright. In and out, right guys?"

Sam didn't like this. Something was just wrong. Wrong beyond the fact that Ruby had kidnapped a child because Ruby didn't kidnap people. She killed them. At least that was what Sam knew of Ruby beyond the very bad but feel good sex she shared with him that he wasn't allowed to do again. But why would she kidnap this child without doing anything else and bringing her back to the toy cabin in the woods?

"I still don't like this," he said softly. "There is something more. More than we can see and I don't like that. We should go."

"More? What more?" Alec asked. Sam knew his stuff no matter how childish in manner it may come out. He was feeling a bit edgy too. Maybe he was picking up on Sam's nerves or maybe it was the animal instinct. He wasn't sure yet.

"Yeah, Sammy. What do you mean?" Dean frowned. He didn't like going in blind, but this was a kid they were dealing with.

He bit his lip. "It just... not right. Not like her. Feels wrong."

"Okay. What part of this isn't like her?" Alec believed in trusting the expert.

"It's not bloody." He couldn't think of any other way to describe it.

"Okay." That description made perfect sense to Alec. "So we need to know why."

"It's an eight year-old kid," Dean pointed out. "We can't just leave her in there for Ruby to screw with. Maybe she just hasn't gotten bloody yet."

Sam bit his lip. He really really didn't like this, but Dean was right. It was a little girl. And Alec was right. They needed to know why it wasn't bloody. Yet. "... maybe."

"No, we can't but gut instinct says I'm about to become prey."

"Yeah, well -- that's not anything new," Dean sighed before pushing the door open and starting to climb out of the car. "Even we go for it or we don't. What're we gonna do?"

. . . )
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
Sam was giddy. Giddy like a six year old who had eaten a bag of candy and was trying to sit still when he wanted to jump around and bounce off the walls.

Road-trip. He and Dean were going on a road-trip just like old times. They weren't going anywhere on a job. Alec was going to do his own thing for a few days. Just Sam and Dean and the Impala home and the road and Dean's crappy music.

He couldn't wait.

Of course, like any kid on a sugar high, he was bound to crash. But instead of falling asleep, he just sat at the desk at Bobby's and stared at his lava lamp's sparkles floating around while he waited for Dean to wake up so they could go. He kept the lava lamp at Bobby's now so that it wouldn't get damaged when they traveled. It was the only thing he really owned beyond his clothes and the laptop. And he had won it, so that made it special. The sparkles hypnotized him and he drifted off away from being aware of the world, but it kept him from sleeping and having bad dreams.

Demons don't need to sleep. Why do something that was going to make him sad?

So he just stayed like that, zoned out until Dean was ready to go and they could have time together, because Dean still loved him even when he was a bad thing you're not a bad thing Sammy stop saying that and Sam still loved him even if that summoning had hurt and they trapped him and he promised NEVER to do that again.

He just wanted to be a good thing and be with his brothers. Alec and Dean. And Uncle Bobby. And just be happy. And Dean promised him that he would make sure Sam was happy and that was why they were going on a road-trip.

When Dean woke up.
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
ooc: takes place after this

Sam was gone the moment he knew Bobby was on the phone with Dean. It could only end one way - Dean would come to Bobby's to get him. Bobby knew how to keep a demon captive. Sam wasn't stupid. Dean would tell Bobby to make sure Sam didn't leave and Bobby would do it so Sam had to leave now before Dean said that.

He kept moving, not sure where to go, but he always found trees that would support him as he sat in them and tried to think of what he could do to keep himself from being caught. But he didn't stay still long because Dean was a good hunter and Sam knew that Dean would find him eventually but he wanted it to be a long time eventually so Dean wouldn't be as mad as he had to be now.

One of the trees he ended up in was in the middle of Texas, and Sam was leaning in it when he saw a woman with blonde hair go by. He tilted his head, then got out of the tree and started to follow her through the streets. When he got close enough, he got to look at her face, but it wasn't who he thought it was and backed away before the woman could yell at him and hit him with her bag.

He kept looking, feeling that he knew she was somewhere close by, and so he started to think about her in his head, and he saw a house in his mind and so he went to find it and soon was standing at the front door and knocked. He rubbed his arm nervously, not sure if Nellie lived here but he saw the house and it felt like she did. He hoped she did.
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
ooc: follows this

Sam had left Ruby at the church and fled as fast as his form could take him until he couldn't go any further. The sun was really starting to rise now, and he knew people were going to find out what he did and then they were going to hunt him.

He was scared and he had to hide. He found a motel and slipped through the window of a room that had no one in it at the moment. He sat on the toilet seat and picked the stained glass out of his feet and then took a long shower. When he was drying his hair, he could see the two bullet holes in his chest that were starting to bleed again. There was some things from the people who were staying there and he was able to put a washcloth over each one, and then wrap an ace bandage around his chest.

New clothes were next. The man had a pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt that just fit him, so he put it on. He was looking for shoes when he heard a key in the door and he ran out the window before the person coming in could see him.

Sam was getting hungry but he knew he couldn't go into town. The news would tell them what he had done and then they would call the cops. The cops were not good people to him. He had hurt one of them. They would want to hurt him too.

Instead he kept moving, going from place to place until the sun started to set and he found himself somewhere familiar. He could smell food cooking and he knew that Bobby would feed him even if he was a bad thing. Maybe Bobby wouldn't call Dean and could keep his secret. But he couldn't get into the place as he tried to find a way in and finally just went to the kitchen door and started to knock quickly.

"Bobby... please let me in!"
likely_evil: (Demon - hurt)
Follows This

I hate you.

Sam was angry. He was very angry and he didn't know what to do with that emotion. It was like a fire in him and he couldn't stay still. He wanted to go into a tree but he couldn't sit still. He wanted to hide in the Impala but Dean would find him. So he just kept walking, not caring where he went but he had to keep moving or he was going to do something he didn't want to do.

"Hey, watch where you're going, G!" A man in an oversized hoodie and low hung jeans shouldered Sam as he walked by, then turned around and yelled at Sam. The two men who were with him turned as well, smirking.

"You watch where you're going. You're the one who hit me," Sam stated over his shoulder, but he kept walking.

"Whoa, hold on a sec. Don't you be disrespecting me, boy." The thug grabbed Sam's shoulder and spun him around to look into his eyes, the gasped at the blackness. "What are you, some kinda freak?"

. . . )
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
coming from this which came from this post

"Come on, Jimmy. You're a puppy. You're supposed to know how to do this!"

Sam sat in the middle of a park, walking over to a frisbee that he had thrown. The little puppy he had found that morning was now sitting with a collar and tags, his leash shoved in Sam's pocket. There was a few toys in a bag by where Sam and Castiel's jacket was. Apparently, the puppy refused to go anywhere without it.

He looked down at the puppy with sad eyes. "Don't you know how to fetch, boy? It's really easy!"
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
I remembered each flash
as time began to blur
Like a startling sign
that fate had finally found me
-Linkin' Park "New Divide"



He had been keeping it a secret. Dean didn't like secrets but Sam knew he couldn't tell Dean. Dean would worry. Dean always worried and this was not a good thing for Dean to worry about. It would bring back bad memories and he would get sad and Sam couldn't make Dean sad. He hated making Dean sad.

But his head was hurting again, so he hid in the bathroom and pretended to take a shower. It was running, but he wasn't in it. Instead he was sitting between the toilet and sink with his head in his hands, trying to get the pain to stop.

And the pictures. He scrunched his eyes shut and there were people there and they were hurting and he didn't know who they were or what was happening. But they hurt and it made him hurt to the point where he wants to stab out his eyeballs so he didn't have to see anymore.

First they were in his dreams. He remembered how they had started like that before and now it was again. He curled up into Dean on those nights. Dean always made the bad things go away. But these weren't like his bad dreams Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They were real and he knew it somewhere which made them hurt more.

Then they started to happen when he was awake. So far they happened when Dean and Alec were gone. He didn't know what to do, and curled up on Dean's bed and clung to his pillow... if he could make it. And sometimes he knew what the dreams were and he could sneak away and try to help. Dean and Alec would be mad if they knew he was on his own helping people. But if he helped them the pain went away.

These pictures though came when Dean was just finishing his shower. Sam couldn't get into the room fast enough that the steam and the smell of Dean's body wash was still in the air. The sound of the water hid his whimpers as he rocked back and forth, trying not to see the pictures.

A little girl. A demon was in her. She was killing people. There was a preacher. He was a good man but she slit his throat and then started to use his blood like finger paints. Pretty pictures of things he remembered from the books in Bobby's place that smelt like magic and leather. She then smiled and the pictures went away.

He had lost track of how long he was in the bathroom, curled up. He wanted them to go away. They hurt and reminded him of how he had become a demon and it wasn't fair and he was dead and they should be gone and not here where it will make Dean sad and angry and...

Another stab of pain had Sam curled up tighter, making pitiful whimpering noises and just wanting it to stop. To go away. To be a normal boy again and not a demon or a freak. He wanted to be Sammy again. Not this.

It hurt too much.
likely_evil: (Weechesters - spaghettio's)
“We are able to find everything in our memory, which is like a dispensary or chemical laboratory in which chance steers our hand sometimes to a soothing drug and sometimes to a dangerous poison.“ --Marcel Proust


There was a tree limb that Sam enjoyed sitting on. It was a nice, thick limb that he could lay on his stomach and watch the world around him. There was a park and a playground and the kids showed up at 3:23pm every day when it wasn't raining.

They had been in town for two weeks now on this hunt and Dean had told him to go out and explore because he and Alec had to sleep during the day for this hunt and Saw was bored just sitting in the room. So he went to the park every day and sat in his tree and waited to see what the kids would do.

When the kids got to the park, they all wanted to play on the swings first. Little kids went to one set, and the big kids went to the other set. Someone was always there to push the little kids I want Dad to push me Dean! Dad won't be back until after dark, Sammy... Higher Dean! Higher!!! and then they would go to the slide I'm scared Dean, it's too high! I'll be at the bottom to catch you, Sammy when it was someone else's turn.

There was a sandbox Don't eat that Sammy and a baseball field Good catch, Sammy and then some kids kicking around a white ball that Sam felt he should know how to play.

Sometimes the kids were not there, and Sam would lay on his back and look at the clouds. They would dance for him in the blue sky and sometimes make shapes Look Dean, a bunny! Look Sammy, my T-Rex is eating your stupid rabbit and sometimes they would follow behind the airplanes that flew in the air in lines that would spread out and then disappear.

And there was the one day that the clouds had been black and Sam had gone back to the motel really wet and Dean had been worried.

But the thing Sam liked the most at the park was seeing the ghosts of him and Dean walking around when they were kids. Because then he knew he was remembering things on his own, and they were happy memories and they made him smile. He liked to smile, so he came back day after day.

Maybe if he stayed there long enough, he could remember everything again. Then he and Dean would be very happy. He should ask Dean if they could stay then...

Oh look, the ice cream truck! Please Dean, I want a snow cone!!! Alright, but we're sharing it so don't slobber all over it Sammy...
likely_evil: (Demon - Light Inside pouting)
ooc: Cowritten with [livejournal.com profile] jstliketherifle and [livejournal.com profile] smart_alec494. Everyone else is an NPC. demon!Sam verse. Part 1 Here


Sam put his cell phone down in his lap, looking at Dean. "He's not answering, Dean. Alec always answers his phone. Something's wrong."

"Only problem is we don't know what kind of something wrong it is. Or where he is, for that matter." Dean was starting to get a little worried too. Alec usually wasn't one to be late either. Which definitely meant something not good, as far as Dean was concerned.

"I can find him. Demon, remember. I can find him if you let me go." Sam stood up. "He can't be far."

Dean hesitated slightly, before sitting up slightly. "I don't know, Sammy -- especially when we don't know what kind of trouble it is."

"Between you and me, we can do anything and take on anything." Sam reached for his jacket. "We can take a drive. I can see what is around. See if I can feel him." He might be trying not to bounce between two feet.

"Alright," Dean nodded after hesitating again. "But don't go running off without me, alright?"

"I won't. Stay in the car. Can I drive?" His eyes lightened up a bit.

Dean chuckled. "No, Sammy. I barely let you drive when you were human."

He pouted and sighed. "No fair." But he followed Dean to the car and sat in the passenger seat obediently.

. . . )
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
ooc: based off this picture.

It was on Bobby's front porch that Sam saw the fireflies dancing around the tree. Little lights that reflected in his shiny black eyes as he stood there, head tilted to the side. Watching.

It was summer and the fireflies always came out in the summer. They liked the heat. Warmth that surrounded them and made their wings happy to flit around the tree with hundreds of others. Warmth that wrapped around him in a gentle way too. Not like the fire that burned at him Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! as strips of him were cut away.

All those fireflies reminded him of how many things he couldn't remember. He should remember. They were parts of him but they burnt away. Gone. He did not come back from Hell whole. Not fully Sammy. Not human. Missing too many fireflies in his head.

He wondered sometimes. Wondered if maybe he went back to Hell - would he be able to catch his fireflies and be a real soul again? Then he could be Sammy again all the way and Dean would be happy.

Some of the fireflies came closer, and Sam held a hand out to them. One landed right on his palm and he pulled it closer to look at it. No memories came to him, but instead it was a grayish bug that crawled along his skin with big wings and a white butt.

He brought his other hand up to run a finger along the bug. It's wings shifted a bit and tried to move in the other direction. Curious, he went to go poke at it and see if it would -

"Sam?"

Squish!

Sam turned around, wiping his hands on his jeans like a 5 year old who was trying to clean up a mess before Mom found out about it. Bobby just watched him a moment, eyebrow raised. "Whatcha lookin' at, son?"

"Fireflies," Sam responded innocently. "They aren't mine though. Too messy."
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
ooc: demon!Sam

Alec and Dean were on a hunt. They were always on a hunt. And Sam was behind on the bed watching some TV show he didn't understand and was kinda crude. Bored, he reached over for his phone, playing through the functions to find something to do.

He opened the address book up and there were a few contacts in there. Dean put the contacts in so Sam would have people to call when he was in trouble. Alec. Bobby. Dean. Missouri.

And then there was one he had put in himself. Nellie. He hadn't talked to Nellie since she had left the diner and it had not been a bad going away. It was just a going away.

Wondering what she was doing, he decided to call her and say hello. It was something to do that wasn't a stupid tv show.
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
Warm Gun verse, aka demon!Sam. for Dean ([livejournal.com profile] jstliketherifle). Alec ([livejournal.com profile] smart_alec494) will be asked to join later

Sam knew it was Dean's birthday because he had Google calendar and it popped up a message to him that he had set back when he had been alive. Today was a big day.

Dean was going to be 30. 30! That was a big number because it wasn't them being in their twenties anymore even if Sam was really only 26 he felt older because of Hell but being 30 and adults and mid-life crises and...

He couldn't wait. He sat on the desk after Alec had left for his morning breakfast run, bouncing and just watching his brother. He wanted Dean to wake up so Sam could give him his present and sing and make him breakfast.

Well, it could be breakfast. It was really more just apple toaster strudels but they tasted like apple pie and Dean liked apple pie. And there was ice cream! And a card and a gift...

Finally, like the five year old he still acted like most of the time, he got off the desk and sat on Dean's bed, bouncing a bit. "Dean, are you awake yet?" he whispered.
likely_evil: (Demon - Remind me who I am)
RP for demon!Sam verse

They were in a diner having lunch as they drove through town. Alec and Dean had said there was a job. There was always a job. Something to hunt. Someone to save. Family business.

Alec and Dean had left Sam in the diner to go and get supplies. So he sat there in some new clothes that Dean had got him. Jeans. A shirt that buttoned down. A white shirt under it. lace up boots and new socks and underwear.

Right now he was curled up on his side of the booth. There was a plate of french fries in front of him. And a big pile of ketchup. And a big soda with a straw. His laptop was in his lap and he was researching water wraiths. He was being useful.

His eyes were glued to the computer and every now and then his hand would grab a fry without looking, dip it in the ketchup, and eat it.

Sam helped Dean and Alec like this, and he was going to help a lot. And he wasn't allowed to leave the diner. The Impala was outside, but Sam had to stay right there until Dean and Alec got back.
likely_evil: (Remind me who I am)
ooc: demon!Sam verse. The night after this

It was in the other eyes of the demon that Sam found himself remembering. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN! They had always been feelings. Things he didn't see pictured in his head.

But he saw them now. They had found another motel to sleep in that night, and Alec and Dean were inside. Two beds, two men. Trying to sleep. Not think of the demons. Not think of bad things. But Sam can only think of bad things. Bad bad things. Pain. Hurt. Fire. Smoke. DEAN!

Sam sat on the hood of the Impala. He leaned back on the windshield and looked up at the stars. The sky was black. Dark. But there was light. Little worlds making light. But there only light in hell was from fire.

There were only a few memories that Sam had. Now he had these and he didn't want them anymore. They were not fireflies. They were knives and blood and bad things. Bad things.

Somewhat unimplied spoilers for 4.10: Heaven and Hell )
likely_evil: (Remind me who I am)
this is demon!Sam... just older from where he is in current RP mentally.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever. - Sarah (The Crow)

They had a job in San Francisco. Dean had been hesitant to bring Sam along, but there was little choice. After all, what are you going to do with your demon brother who still shifts back and forth mentally from a 27 year old to a 5 year old? There's no babysitter in the world who would deal with that.

While Alec and Dean were hunting, Sam took a walk. Yes, he had his cell phone, Alec. Sam kept it on him all the time because Dean and Alec worried. Too much. But that was what they did, so Sam kept the phone on. He would call them later. Maybe find pie if they were having a bad day. Pie cheered Dean up. And milk for Alec. Or ice cream. Sam liked ice cream with hot fudge, Alec liked shakes, and Dean liked a scoop on his pie.

Sam stopped outside a building, and his eyes instantly went up to a window. He saw shadows in the window - a dark haired woman and him. His body. Together in an embrace, their lips pressed together in need.

His feet were taking him up the stairs before he realized it. The door was locked, but Sam took out a set of picks and opened it easily. Inside, the building was empty as the furniture and decorations had been taken down. But Sam remembered it in his mind. The couch was there. Table. Television where they had watched a horrible soap opera that she got him into. For weeks he watched it on youtube because she couldn't.

Madison )
likely_evil: (Remind me who I am)
"What's in the box?" David Mills, Se7en

It was a shiny metal box. 18.3 inches by 6.9 inches by 13.9 inches. Exactly. 10 pounds. NO, more. 10.3. Yes. And there was an apple on top.

He had found it in the trunk of the Impala. He had been looking for something and there was a bag there. It wasn't what he was looking for. It was what he was looking for. It was his. He knew that now.

Alec and Dean were out. He was told to stay. So he stayed, but he was bored and the tv was not working. So he went looking and found the thing. His thing.

He picked it up and looked at it, trying to figure out what it was. He should know what it was. It was his thing. It even smelt like him, just like the bag of clothing that was his. He was wearing the very wrinkled green plaid shirt now and it smelt like the way he was supposed to smell. The jeans were loose on him, but they also smelt like him. And dirt.

He put it down on the table and looked it it closer. There was a button on the side. He slid his finger along the button and a disc popped out, making him jump a bit. There was a disc there now, which he held up to look at. Jason Manns. Music. It was his music, if it was inside of his thing. He put the disc back in carefully, and it disappeared inside of the box.

Something told him there was more to see )

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Sam Winchester

May 2016

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